Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

[WildflowerGardens]

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

How can anyone ‘read from’ their viva (no one who’s actually had one, or more, refers to them by the full name)?
Maybe he lugged his full thesis around to read from … then collapsed under the weight of it (existential existence that is) on his way home.

For the poem alone he will not only ghost but block you. It isn't very good, op. Sorry.

Oh please finish that last line with the c word 😂

I dipped my littlest toe very briefly into old over ten year’s ago but I found it very stressful on the way home trying to work out how to say later that I wasn’t interested in a re-meet (I realised I just didn’t want to date anyone). I probably didn’t contact a couple of them, (I think I went on 6 different dates). After the 6th I removed my profile and I’ve never gone back.

Maybe he had a fantastic time and then freaked out how much he liked you, commitment issues kicked in. Now he’s antagonising how to send you a message without appearing “needy” and “desperate”, and he’s put a post on mansnet asking for help to craft the perfect text message! Give the poor bloke a chance.

So OLD since August and been ghosted twice - am in my 50s as are the 2 guys

1. Walk as a first date (afternoon ) we got on v v well - texted all evening Then that was that
2. Saw a guy for about 3 weeks - yes we slept together a few times and one morning he left my place saying I’ll speak to you later I texted that evening a ‘hey how’s it going’ and that was it - nothing! BUT a couple of days later I started talking to and then seeing someone else and it’s great! So if I hadn’t been ghosted I wouldn’t have met thus new guy! Also I am still connected to him on Insta and a couple of days ago he put up a reel with the caption’ForMrsM2025’ - I have ignored it!!

That was in my youth - I now have thinning hair, no life and a bad credit score

Are you being ironic? It's hard to tell on MN

Then why TF are you bothered?

are you that desperate for a man that you think this date went so well you wanted more, but you wouldn’t look twice at him, he ain’t all that blah blah blah?

JUST FUCKING LEAVE IT! Save your dignity and raise your bar.

in future, never expect anything from anyone until you’ve been seeing them for a good 6m or so, understand that until you have been together a year, it’s barely a relationship and neither should be committed for life after such a short space of time

remember that a relationship is supposed to be long haul, a year or 2 isn’t enough to force you to stay, it’s the beginning of things not the culmination.

At last! The Leader has arrived to tell it like it is. Nice one.

He had a date on the Saturday night that he preferred to you @WildflowerGardens

dont take things personally, he doesn’t know you, you don’t know him, there should be no expectation on either side.

Are you really an author? "It's not hard" 🤔

Let me guess. Self published and write a gazillion books a year.

WTAF is wrong with you? For once, I'm on the side of the Man.

OLD is harsh! And you're right to be disgruntled at being ghosted, it's bloody rude. But texting him will only make him think he's right, and that you're a bit of nutcase. Unfortunately! To be honest, he doesn't sound like much of a catch...

And no, I don't want to date him! I have my own Mr Bald - except that he's tall with lovely teeth, and sparkly blue eyes. We met OLD and he texted me from his car as he was leaving our first date to tell me what a good time he had. We went on our next date the following day, and it's been amazing ever since. And that's exactly how it should be.

So there are good ones out there, they're just few and far between. I met my Mr Bald on a paying site, which I did find better than the free (more of a free for all) ones.

Like Tony Hancock in The Artist. If you haven't seen it, please watch. It's hilarious.

Day drinking isn’t for everyone.

Freida McFadden and Colleen Hoover are bestselling authors, and their books are pure shite. So I’m guessing it’s not hard to write terrible books…

Just a simple "Thankyou for a lovely evening but I dont feel the chemistry is there and I do not wish to take things further. Best of luck" will do.

No need for overly wrought explanations.

i experienced this with someone whos child had sn and wanted a play date with my son...i thought the day went great but obviously not in her world....best to forget and move on...there loss x

Agree about Colleen Hoover. Haven't read Freida but even they wouldn't say it's easy, I don't think...

Stick it in ya novel then!

Why did you send him a message to begin with? If he’s interested, he’ll let you know.

He’s just texted!!!!

😊

Freida McFadden plagiarises wildly, but I guess finding the existing books to cobble together into new ones takes work

You may well be “guessing”, I’m too successful to care what some anon thinks AND my date just texted back with a suggestion for a second date!!