Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

[WildflowerGardens]

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

The more I read your replies on the thread the more I thought 'Hmmmm' and wondered if he'd describe the date as 'great'. You're not coming across very well and honestly after one bad date I'd have said whatever was necessary to escape warmly and then ghosted too. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but you were asking for opinions.

Surely you have dodged a bullet then? He isn't a catch at all. It sounded as though you both enjoyed the date so I understood why you were cross about being ghosted but I think you're probably miffed because you really feel that you are out of his league and he should have been grateful.

I’d text him OP. but maybe something a bit more cutting than that. The comments saying leave it are rubbish.

hey, I know you mentioned about seeing each other again soon… however, due to your apparent rudeness and lack of common decency I would rather stick pins in my eyes than entertain a man in his 40s with no communication skills. Good luck with your ongoing battle in finding a partner.

OP, I can see why he had lots of laughs because I too had lots of laughs out loud reading this thread. You’ve now set up Mr Bald Ugly Short Bullet with half of mumsnet and you seem to be enjoying doing it!

What happened next, did you send the text in the end?

I would chill out and not worry about some random middle aged man. I would look at your own self esteem and why it has upset you so much. Maybe he is an idiot or maybe he has things on. In any case he has not prioritised you so I wouldn't waste a second's thought on him.

Fully agree with your summary @wfhwfh

ps OP even if you block if he really wanted to get in touch he could

No response is a response.

Give him a chance to think about it? It’s only been a few days!

And you obviously are not desperate so move on to someone else. You should be dating 2 or 3 people at a time and not be waiting around for 1. It’s supposed to be fun.

I would just send a nice lighthearted message about a suggestion for a venue for the next date or something along those lines.

Now, if he doesn't respond to that or comes across as uninterested, you have a clear answer.

I wouldn't go in with the heaviness straight away, give him a chance to respond to a question.

Other way round, I'm a chap and got ghosted by a lady after 3 months of going out, no explanation, nothing! she was 43.

Alas its a thing, its very childish and poor form, but the way I look at it is would you want to be involved with someone who treats you in such a disposable way.

Leave it and move on - I say leave it because, he could have ended up in hospital or called away on a genuine crisis and come back to you genuinely apologetically later on.

You are worth far more, move on, it was just one date, and although you seemed compatibile his attitude shows that's really not the case - bullet dodged!

This thread is something else.

He probably goes on lots of amazing dates. He is probably getting a buzz out of it.

😂I love it when the Irish post on here.

Well, well, well. Seems another lady on this thread is trying to put me off so she can date him herself. Well go ahead.

Serious question have any of your friends mentioned going on a date with a man who’d been to an illustration fair on Saturday - maybe he is a serial dater and prolific

Thank you for your kind post but I don’t think I AM worth far more than- at this rate I suspect I shall be dying alone

I was going to send a one word profanity and then block him, but I haven’t

I would just block him so that there are fewer men on the dating app to sift though in future.

Not sure - my hair is certainly thinning, but I wore a hat and pushed my remaining strands of hair to the front to give an appearance of fullness

Well, I’ll go against the grain and say you should. For the sake of the plot!

I would just ignore and don't bother blocking either.

It’s hard to choose the right profanity - there are so many

I know what you mean! but would you want to be with someone who would be so inconsiderate of your feelings - anyone who ghosts is a nasty bit of work in my good, they lake a spine and honesty, they don't care about the effect it has on the other party. I reckon its better to be alone that stuck with that type of person.

Block him and if he ever does message ask him”who’s this?”

Am thinking it’s a good job this is an anonymous forum as I’d hate to be OP’s agent right now.