Ghosted after a great first date. Best response?

[WildflowerGardens]

I had a first date with a man off hinge on Saturday afternoon - we had coffee and then walked round an illustration fair. The whole time we were laughing and talking animatedly and seemed to have a lot in common. At the end of the date he pulled me into a bear hug and said “see you again soon”.

I texted him that evening to say “Great to meet you, what a fun afternoon!” but he didn’t reply and it’s now Tuesday. I think I’ve been ghosted.

I feel like sending a final message, something like “Ghosting in your forties? I only date grown men: good luck with your ongoing search 👋 ” before blocking him but I’m not sure if I should do this.

My reasoning is that I think ghosting is crap behaviour and people who ghost should be called out on it.

Any advice very welcome.

Thank you - some good advice here

He did it because he is gutless and doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to use honest communication. Messaging him won’t make one bit of difference. Sadly this is rife and it baffles me how men that age haven’t grown up yet. But there we are. My advice is to just delete his number. X

Absolutely a waste of your time and effort to message again . Get on with your editing , dating , whatever . Just remember he was the discourteous one should he pop up again in a week or two asking for date two . Alternatively block him , if that’s your thing ? Not sure why so much blocking goes on - but I’m old and would only block scammers, spammers and abusers !

Maybe when he leant in and whispered ‘see you soon’ he just meant he was off to the yellow sticker aisle but he was covering himself for that thing that happens in supermarkets where you say goodbye to someone and then bump into them two minutes later.

And if I was you, OP, I would forget about him and focus on the date that you are on the way to. Let us know how it goes. If you chronicle your dates here you might have a Bridget Jones type bestseller on your hands.

okay 🧌 feeding time is over.

watch thread unticked

@WildflowerGardens consider yourself ghosted

Could you text “hello little bald, toothless man with lack of ambition; why don’t you want to see me again?” Let us know what he says?

Oh my God, you want to date him don't you?!

I one went on a couple of dates with a guy who then ghosted me. I didn't really expend any energy on it, just carried on dating other men. Then he popped up out of the blue about six months later, all bright and breezy as if nothing had happened. He'd obviously chosen someone else and it hadn't worked out. I very much enjoyed sending a message back along the lines of "Oh how surprising to hear from you, hope you're well. I'm with someone now so not really available as your back up. Best of luck!"

I would not block your guy, just to enjoy a moment like that if it happens.

There is something seriously wrong with you. I would ghost the thread but it's kind of compelling.

No no, the supermarket was before the train station bear hug

If u must write back "Had a nice time but you re not really my type, hope you eventually find someone who likes you enough for a 2nd date" or similar.

But in all honesty, say nothing, move on, as you are doing.

Same, The other option of ending a date with.. Sorry you’re not my type so I don’t want to have a second date doesn’t always go down well either.
He hasn’t really ghosted you op, you barely know each other.
Don’t send the message, it was just make you feel worse.

Not sure about this approach - to some people it might come across as a bit insulting

😆

Gagging for it. If he’s got a good set of lungs I reckon his bad dentistry would give a 🍋 a run for its money

He's had a lucky escape.

Brilliant. 🤣

this is an excellent outcome

If it makes you fell better, great. But how will you feel if he's already blocked you ;)

You sent a text, he's not responded. I'd say it's highly likely he wasn't interested in a second date and probably knew that on Saturday. Of course it's polite to say, thanks but no thanks, but at least you know now what you're dealing with. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

I went on a first date with someone who seemed keen. After an hour he made excuses and left. I did text him and say 'thanks for meeting me'. He was honest and said that he didn't want a second date and I replied back 'that's fine, neither do I'. There was zero chemistry, he seemed to have an incredibly packed social life, cycled all over the country a lot and I remember thinking that he didn't really have enough time in his life for a girlfriend!! My second person, I met was much more successful, I married him!!! 🤣

I'm in my forties and wouldn't think that deeply about not hearing back from someone between saturday PM and Tuesday AM: I'm just not that much of a tester. If that person then sent me an angry message to say they didn't want to see me again I would consider it a bullet well dodged because what else are they going to be super sensitive to? I realise I may be in a minority here but not texting a lot doesn't signal no interest from my pov. Worst case scenario here is that he is indeed ghosting you, in which case don't lose all dignity by showing him your are upset OP.

I expect someone else gave him sex and he’s seeing if that goes anywhere. He’s not going to end things with you (or anyone else he’s dated) in case it doesn’t work out.

I could say that’s not all men, but it seems to be.

There's more power in silence.