(((( TW SA ))) Dp has sexomnia

[Smoggle123]

Me and dp have been together nearly a decade, have kids. At the moment we are going through a rough patch due to an unrelated matter. I'm also pp with dbaby. During the past week I've made it clear to dp we aren't on good terms to be intimate and also reminded him physically I am not ready since I'm still feeling fragile being pp.

In the past dp has claimed to have sex with me and be totally unconscious from start till finish. This means he has no recollection or control over it. We have struggled with this before but it rarely happens, usually it occurs only if we go through a dry spell or rough patch.

The other night we were asleep and dp had sex with me, again unconsciously. Because of this he didn't use protection. Now, not only am I stressed about the potential risk of pregnancy whilst already having a baby, I am also feeling violated. During the week dp kept having "episodes" of being too handsy with me at night and I reminded him I'm not in the mood to do stuff with him whilst we are working on our relationship. He said he understood but obviously because this all goes down in his sleep he can't be blamed right?!

So where does this leave me?? I'm feeling so hurt, disrespected and violated. Dp was clearly very sexually frustrated as he kept telling me so, and whether it was conscious or not HE still did this. Not only that but he also finished inside me and is gambling my recovering body with pregnancy again, even if he didn't make the conscious decision or mean to do so.

I didn't even know this was a thing until I decided to look up if anyone else had experience this with their partners and saw it is a real thing.

So yes it isn't him just being a shitty person and trying to excuse it with a lie however it doesn't take away from how upset I am by it all.

I just don't know where to go from here...

I read this and thought wow what a good idea, but I've googled it and they didn't make it its still just a prototype. Which is unfortunate. Chasity belts can be bought though ( I know OP shouldn't have to buy or use one, but in this situation it would be helpful )

There are chastity devices for men. Her 'd'p should wear one.

Yes , I think that you do need to step away from this @Smoggle123
You're confused and waking up to the fact that your 'D'P is not the man that you thought he is/was. Delete this thread if you have to but comments will tail off quite quickly when you stop replying so at least this is here for you to reread when you need to. In the meantime get your ducks in a row:

Wear pants (wear big pants!) and long PJ's in bed - this means that if he does it again then the bigger chance you'll wake up before he puts you at risk of pregnancy. Honestly, I shouldn't have to advise this but you have a young baby and no where to go so at best protect yourself.

Contact your local domestic abuse charity and start to get some support there. There will a few so find one that suits you. Your health visitor or GP surgery can point you in the right direction. If you google local DA support on a home computer then remember to use a VPN or use incognito mode so that the search history isn't recorded. If using a phone then wipe the search history/cache. No one is going to pressurise you to report to the police but you should consider it if he carries on with these assaults.
Keep a record of incidences on your phone (in code) and write a timeline of previous assaults if you can.
Have you got a family member or friend who you can confidentially tell what's going on?

Start looking into benefit entitlements - there are several government ones like Turn2Us. Start looking into part time work possibilities. Is the house solely in his name? If it is owned/mortgaged solely to him then yes, it is a very real possibility that you will have to leave and find somewhere else but if it's in joint names (owned or rented) then DA services can advise you what you can do to get sole occupancy.

Please give some serious consideration about going to the police and reporting this abuse. You should definitely see your GP about your worries about your partner's issues, the possibilty that he could damage you internally (recent PP condition and lack of prep by your body for intercourse) and your worry about getting pregnant again so that there is a record.
Please ignore the more hysterical posters demanding that you leave immediately. You're in shock and only you know your situation and what's achievable right now.
In the meantime you need to be very clear to your partner that any sexual activity and pestering are completely off the table unless you choose to have it with enthusiastic consent. If he continues to plead 'sexsomnia' as a defence then you need to insist that he gets help for it from his GP as it is a very dangerous condition for the sufferer and those around them - say you'll go with him to explain what's happening. If it happens again then please come back.

Good luck my lovely and thoughts are with you xx

And she should throw the key away.

He's raping you. Whether he has sexsomnia or not should be for a defence lawyer to prove. But he is still raping you.

He’s lying. It’s a made up ‘illness’ that conveniently affects exclusively men.

This sounds a lot like Pink Poets latest threads. I wonder if it’s the same poster. If so it’s very sad.

Sorry , I've never heard of this condition and it sounds like BS to me unless his clinical psychologist says this is actually a thing.
It's a novel way of not taking responsibility for your actions- I'll give you that- without a clinical diagnosis it's BS.