Blindsided by DH telling me tonight he’s had enough of our marriage

[Jack32]

It was a normal Friday night tonight, got the baby and toddler asleep at 7, DH went out to pick up our take away and we watched our Netflix series. I asked him what’s the plan this weekend, I checked the weather app and mentioned how I’d be going for my jog first thing if the rain stayed away, around 8am. It’s a new thing I’ve taken up since the baby so keep fit. I normally get up at 6am with the kids, take them downstairs, feed them, wash, dress them while DH stays in bed. He comes downstairs to take care of them while I’m out for an hour jogging. I like to get it done early so we can spend the day together. Tonight he completely snapped at me when I said about my jog. He said he dreads the weekend with me, hates the weekend, is fed up of this marriage. I was blind sighted, I reached to grab his hand and asked if he was OK and he snatched his hand back so coldly. He said just leave me alone. I was so shocked, I’ve gone upstairs to bed and I feel sick. What should I do or say ?!

No way. So out of order. You need an apology.

You're calling me a liar? On what basis exactly?

You’re saying I said OP should LTB? On what basis? That’s a blatant lie.

I never said on this thread, I said I've seen you be like it on other LTB threads. On this one you're being snippy to anyone who dares to disagree with the narrative that OP's DH is in the wrong. Your last comment to @Isittimeformynapyet is what I mean.

Shhhh ffs you're both derailing the thread and very annoying

Apologies. Don't want to derail for OP's sake.

It could be sinister or it could be that he doesnt want to get up at 8am when he would have got up at 9 or 10. I love my sleep and it would p me off to get up earlier
Suggest pushing your jog to 10am and see what he says.

I haven’t read all the replies, but could he be depressed? It manifests itself in all kinds of ways and often those loved most are the most pushed away.

Is literally no-one gonna tell OP that it's 'blindsided' not 'blindsighted'?

Someone has

Another pedant beat you to it

Repeat post.

You said ‘You really are very snippy with anyone who doesn't immediately jump on the LTB bandwagon.’ So you meant this thread. And I have not said anything like that so that was a lie.

Anyway, this is boring, I won’t be responding to you again.

Oh, good.

But they have children who are up at 6am either way… this just means OP has to look after the kids solo for 3 hours while her husband sleeps before she can jog. Why does he get to sleep in and she doesn’t?

Yes he gets the two extra hours in bed on a Saturday morning that OP doesn’t get.

If he doesn't like watching his own kids for an hour on Saturday morning he's not going to like having them every other weekend, or 50:50, or one whole day every weekend, is he? So I suggest he thinks carefully about what he wants.

This is the bit that makes me nervous for the OP & is why I think she needs to speak to him as a matter of urgency.

Being cruel to your partner like this can come from guilt & can be a way to create upset & tension so your partner is horrible back to you & you feel more vindicated in being a shit - if you are being one.

I wouldn't leave it, let him have a peaceful weekend or any of the other suggestions, I would want answers today & would be asking for a frank & honest discussion.

Hopefully it will just tiredness & frustration on his part but he needs to explain himself (and apologise)and do so quickly.

It got called out within about the first 6 posts on the thread. It was unnecessary then, given the context of the thread. It is still unnecessary now.
And the OP acknowledged her mistake this morning. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think most telling part of whole thing is him pulling his hand away and l agree with many pp about possible OW and l think that is a very blatant physical recoil typical of when you're into someone else.
But having said that, he might just be tired/fed up of routine etc and snapped. But if my DH had just snapped at me to express his annoyance/frustration l know me grabbing his hand and saying 'Are you ok?' would be last thing l would be doing.
I just discussed it with him and he said he would find that very patronising and a presumption that there had to be something wrong with him, rather than me, both of us, or our situation. He also said it reminded him of that cringeworthy Holly Willoughby thing.

Please just talk to him, so many men with the thought of looking after a baby and a toddler stress out and bite at their partner.
He would have seen you literally running away and said that he hates this stage of baby parenting.

I have to say I’m ill and exhausted atm and have been thinking today it might be nice to split from my DH to have a bloody break from the kids. Sometimes that’s just the way it feels.

Seems like he wants out of the marriage . Is anyone else involved?

Of course he could and probably is depressed.
Unfortunately, he made this choice to
become a father.
Yes, if he thought with his brains and not another organ, he could have had all the freedom desired.
It's life, for some.