I found this in my bed.

[Bugsandbeds]

I found this in my bed. It was under the duvet cover on my side when I got home from work this other day. I'm married. Husband works from home.

I know what I think it is but I just can't believe it.

Could it be something other than a condom wrapper? I've convinced myself it's off something else, some sort of other packet.

The writing

What issues did he cause with sex and why OP? None of this sounds very good tbh. If he's never had a posh wank before I can't think of any positive reasons why he'd suddenly start now.

No I KNOW men do it. I know men do it because the first man who told me about it was a HIV awareness educator in college and he told our class that it was a good way for boys to get accustomed to condoms generally. I have since seen it recommended numerous times on all sorts of health related programmes (Like This Morning). It is pretty standard advice.

5 and 12 so definitely not

Just because something is advised though doesn't mean that people actually take the advice.

Aren't men always complaining that condoms ruin things because they can't feel much?
That was the whine of every bloke i ever hooked up with as a young woman.

Thank you, definitely confirm it's a condom wrapper then.

Am sorry x

Can you detect any perfume in the bed at all?

Yeah, sadly, it is probably issues that he is having with someone else.

I said to Chat GPT: "I experience ED when I put on a condom with new partners after my divorce, how can I overcome this?"

You've seen it recommended, you've seen a teacher suggest it, have you actually met a man who does it though?

They do if they have enough cause to want to wear condoms with other people. For him, it could be that he is very cautious about transmitting an STD to the OP, or, people he wants to sleep with insist on it.

Sorry OP but I’d be very very suspicious - he will probably deny, lie and gaslight so you need ways to prove suspected infidelity - nannycam, yours or neighbours ring doorbell.
Hope we’re all wrong!

Don't want to derail but sometimes "flying solo" as it was put earlier can include anal play. So maybe a condom was used for this, rather than him wearing it. If it was indeed used for masturbation.

sorry OP. I hope you get some answers.

Lonb shot here. If you happen to live in the Weybridge Walton area and the woman in question is petite with black hair, then given your other clues she is very good at summoning men with 'white knight syndrome' and wrecking their relationships. Kick him out and let him find out the hard way what she is.

I was cheated on @Bugsandbeds - it was awful. He wouldn't have admitted it, I had to confront him. The posh wank thing is a fallacy unless you're a kid at boarding school trying out your body for the first time. However much people protest to the contrary. The thing that upsets me more than anything is that it was on your side of the bed. When did you find it? I think a brutal conversation needs to be had and I am so sorry that it does. But we're here to listen and help.

Have you got a ring doorbell or anything you could check to see if he’s had someone round?

It takes a special kind of low life man to bring his mistress into his home and have sex with her in the marital bed while his wife is at work.

Personally I don't see how you can not say something to him about what you have found. Surely it is evidence enough that something happened while you were out and any attempt at an innocent explanation would be pretty unbelievable?

It's a horrible situation for you OP.

Have you got a ring doorbell? Is it worth looking to see if anyone has come round recently?

Yes. There are another group of men that is is recommended to and I know some of those men. I have sat with them while theyve recommended it to other men. Swingers basically. But of course this is with the consent of their spouse and they may use condoms themselves so he readjusts to using them. Same thing though.. they haven't used condoms for years and need to get used to using them again. Using them in familiar situations like masturbating or with a familiar sexual partner can help that process.

It's sadly funny to me that this has been labelled a "posh wank" by men covering up it's true purpose. It must be extremely confusing if you don't have this "in".

Look for hairs in the bed. If he's been at it with another woman in your bed, then she's bound to have some strands of hair come out.

I'm sorry OP, what a sickening feeling for you.

Or on passenger seat in car.

No, unfortunately, but I'm sure he'd turn it off if someone was coming round anyway.

DH and I don’t use condoms as I’ve got a coil, why on earth would he need to practice keeping an erection while wearing a condom at this stage in our marriage? I assume it would be the same for the OP. He would also think it a waste of money to buy them just to wank into. I would assume the OP would be aware if her DH had a tendency to do this.

OP I’m so sorry, I think I would be installing a ring doorbell for security reasons and taking it from there.

Just asked my OH and he said that while he can see some purpose in "containing" the "outcome" in a condom and that might be considered "posh". He can't imagine going out and buying some just for that purpose.