I found this in my bed.

[Bugsandbeds]

I found this in my bed. It was under the duvet cover on my side when I got home from work this other day. I'm married. Husband works from home.

I know what I think it is but I just can't believe it.

Could it be something other than a condom wrapper? I've convinced myself it's off something else, some sort of other packet.

The bloke is very crystal clearly banging running club woman, who very conveniently has just left her husband, and they are doing it in YOUR BED!!

Friend, you don’t need “proof” to end a relationship where over person is cheating. You can just end it add the trust has gone and it’s come to a natural end. A condom wrapper in your bed is all evidence you need. There really isn’t much left to counsel is there?

If she’s now left her husband and he’s having whip rounds to fund her, at some point soon he’s going to call it quits. He’s already outlined his he thinks the divorce should go upthread.

Yeah agree.. he wasn’t doing home visits when her husband was there ffs.

OP I really feel for you it’s horrible being on the other end of something like this and having no physical evidence only your intuition and suspicion. Do you know what you’re going to do now moving forward? Have you mentioned the wrapper since he came back and didn’t mention anything?

OP I was wondering if you’d turned the mattress recently and it had been stuck to it for ages unnoticed. However if it was under the duvet on top of the sheet you lie on there’s no way this has been there long, surely? Had you put on fresh bedding that you haven’t used in ages? Sometimes these things find their way into washing machines/ tumble dryers unnoticed and stick to things, but that’s a pretty long shot.
The running friend is bothersome too.
Why did he feel the necessity to be the one to instigate the whip-round? Why the sudden need to up his appearance?
Why flirty messages at all?
Friends don’t flirt. How old are these flirty messages, are they very recent or is the last one from a few weeks/ months ago? I only say that because if/ when things progressed past flirting he could have moved to a new app, or even got a burner phone, so he stopped using that app to talk to her.
It’s not enough proof at all, but it’s not looking good, I’m sorry. To me that’s been left in the bed after recent usage. What for I don’t know, maybe the sometimes thought mythical ‘posh wank’, an affair partner or a sex worker. Surely if he’d used it for masturbating he’d have said so, because the alternative explanations could end his marriage and surely feeling a bit embarrassed, is better than letting your wife wonder if you’ve had sex with another woman in your bed? But its being in your bed is bloody grim no matter what it was. I’m so sorry.

Sorry...sounds very, very unconvincing and suspicious. I personally wouldn't have told him a about the wrapper because he was just going to cover it. But I understand you wanting to hear the explanation.
Anyway time to get your ducks in a row.

Unfortunately I don't think OP is ready to leave. I can understand she wants more "proof". I also agree with you I would of kept quiet and just been more vigilant to see if anything else was a give away. Hope you are OK @Bugsandbeds

The running club woman....well I don't know really. Still talks about her by name but referred to her today as his friend. She's moved out of her martial home and he did a whip round at the running club to give her some money to help her with some basic house stuff ("because her partner isn't letting her have any furniture"). I hope that's not too outing but WTF?!

Thats over involvement imo and id be asking him to get her round for dinner as a friend seeing how her marriage has ended etc - his reaction will tell you all you need to further know

Yes I said this! It will just give him the heads up to be extra careful now if he is up to something.. obviously he was going to deny it either way

He’s shagging her on the side, I’m convinced. The ‘knight in shining armour rescues the damsel in distress’ routine. How predictable. And embarrassing.

Yep, once they've convinced themselves of the chivalrous shit it's game over.
Nothing chivalrous about leaving Johnny wrappers in your marital bed for the wife to find, mind.
Prepare yourself for preposterous conversations about spirituality and unconditional love like he's never felt before.

This, BUT, people who haven't been in this situation really don't understand how hard it is to leave without 100% proof. When youve loved and trusted someone and spent decades together/have kids, you do feel you need as much as possible to end things.

The shock and trauma of such a betrayal don't lend to rational thought, but more like a kind of paralysis.

We don't always behave in these situations how we might imagine.

OP, for what it's worth, I strongly think your H is a cheat. I understand your need for more evidence and if I were you I would try to get it whilst making plans to exit the marriage in the new year.

My ex used hidden apps to communicate and a 2nd phone.

Ah yes it's quite possible the condom wrapper is from 3 years ago when you used them - if you haven't changed your fucking sheets in 3 years.

I bet he was shocked, of course he denied all knowledge and of course he wanted the subject dropped asap.

He's a lying, cheating bastard, I'd bet any money on it. I'm really sorry OP, you deserve 100 times better. Raising money for furniture for her? What the fuck next.

Now running partner has new place to live they will probably be using her bed in her new home, to save any more condom wrappers in your marital bed.
He's raising money for her new flat because he's gonna be there? I so hope not, but definitely the thought crossed my mind.

Look, the condom wrapper was in your bed. It didn't come from nowhere. What explanation did he have for why it was there? And why would an empty condom wrapper fall out of a bag? Wouldn't it have been an unopened condom packet? Did he usually store empty condom wrappers in a bag instead of putting them in the bin? And why only a condom wrapper fell out and landed in the bed covers? Why not a lipstick? A tissue? A bus ticket? A biro? Why only a condom wrapper?

You know he had a woman in that bed. That condom wrapper did not get in there by itself. I would have left that very night we got back home, or told him to go. I wouldn't bother with marriage therapy. He had sex with another woman in your bed and won't admit to it. What point is marriage therapy after that? Unless he is prepared to admit the truth to you today, I'd ask him to leave today.

This exactly! It’s different if there was a plausible explanation, and it had fallen out when packing something away or taking something out etc etc. I mean if someone is the type to stuff things here there and everywhere, or it got caught up with other things.
But from 3 years ago I don’t see how, and if someone is changing the bedding regularly, I was thinking did he sit on the bed and it fell out of his pocket from where else he had used it.

No conversation between your husband and another woman should be in the slightest ‘bit flirty’.
She’s starting to feature a fair old bit in this thread and I think there’s a reason for that.

OP, @Bugsandbedshow are things now?