Potential marriage with a very wealthy man… but I’m physically repulsed. WWYD?

[ForeverHopeful3]

33F, about to be 34. Single as a pringle.

But, my family friend just proposed a guy (38) from an extremely wealthy family (millions, big business). She said the family is good and he's their only kid.

THE PROBLEM: I’ve seen a couple of pics + a company video of him and my honest initial reaction was “ew, no”. I’d rate him 2/10 by my usual standards. Maybe a 3. Overall, I feel zero physical spark... I've tried to find one picture of him where I think he looks even just a little handsome and I can't. Even his voice was a turn-off for me in the video. I couldn't make it to 30 seconds😭

Part of me thinks I should at least have one coffee in case attraction grows or I’m being too shallow. The other part feels it would be dishonest – like I’d only be forcing it for the money/lifestyle. I also don't want to waste his time or give the family any sort of false hope :(

Would you meet once anyway, or is zero initial attraction an automatic no, even when the man is literally a millionaire?

I have tried to go on dates with men I didn't find initially attractive in photos but attraction has never grown on me in the past. Usually after 2 dates, I call it quits :(

This is such a troll post!
if it isn’t, what makes you think he would be interested in you in the slightest?! You sound horrible

Deffo go for a coffee then you can update us with Part Two 😅

Wealthy marriages can be a gilded cage for the lower income spouse who is trapped in a legal contract, and forced to stay for financial security. The wealthy spouse can be tight as a duck's bum with money, and not wish to share equally. Wealthy spouse may insist on prenuptial agreement (I did!). Wealthy spouse may have trust fund income which is out of your grasp. Wealthy spouse will be able to afford super effective legal representative if it all goes wrong and you try to divorce. Wealthy spouse can buy anything...including lovers on the side. If I wanted a boyfriend 15 years younger than me to turn heads in the street then I could probably get one if he looked at my bank account. In reality, I would know why he was interested in me, and treat him like a commodity rather than a genuine person (this is why I wouldn't pursue such a ridiculous arrangement). Wealthy people know how to play this game too, and understand the transaction all too well. How about turning your attention to what you can do with your life and career to achieve high income (if that attracts you), security and dignity without the need to become financially dependent on someone else. I did, and lots of women do. Much nicer than being stuck with a man you don't even fancy, and certainly won't when he is 65 fat and bald either.

No I was not stretching to that at all - I was wondering whether the OP depicting arranged marriage being about snagging wealthy husbands, given she is likely from a muslim family [we are actually all assuming this], represents a skewed image of muslim culture that might feed islamaphobia amongst readers lurking here. As my post pointed out I am from a muslim family, and my experience of ‘arranged’ marriage was that ‘money’ was not what it was about. As I also stated, both parties needed to be solvent, have good prospects - they were all lawyers/doctors/professionals etc - but my extended family were concerned for ‘good matches’ - matches where their children would be happy. Hence, my father marrying my Christian British mother and my aunt marrying a jewish man.

As I also stated, they were [political] asylees - as in fact are many British muslims. People who have left their native countries because they wanted more freedoms for their children when things have changed there, such as the regime in Iran. My family were diplomatic attachés in London who chose to stay when the Shah fell. They were, therefore, pretty liberal and bear little relation to the muslim extremism we see in the media currently. That was all I was alluding to. The fact that in the UK [again I am assuming the OP is UK resident] arranged marriages, or vetted introductions to suitable prospective partners, are culturally accepted and a bus-ride away from enforced marriages that persist in Arab countries… which seem irrelevant to the OP’s post.

I know- no one has ever managed to stick to a single Pringle.

Do the bloke a favour and stay well away. What a deeply unpleasant post this is.

I know AS is frowned on, but in an earlier thread OP mentioned doing Indian dating so yes, in context with this thread too, it seems likely that this is happening in a space where it's a cultural norm to have arranged introductions with a view to marriage.

However, there are so many resentful, nasty and insulting posts that I'm not surprised she hasn't returned.

Regardless of the cultural background, it seems very transactional.

Having once had a blind date setup for me by a friend who knew a similarly loaded single man, there is only one answer I can think of.

HELL NO.

I'm confused op.

this guy has never met you yet but you're certain if you go on just one date and then turn him down, you'll be disappointing his family and turning down a lucrative marriage proposal.

so you're so gorgeous / funny / clever etc that his wealthy family will be desperate to make you theirs?

honestly, couching this in terms of potential marriage and giving his family false hope is hysterical.

how are you even single if you're so irresistible?

If you do break up, you can always cry in your Ferrari!

OMG I cannot believe what I am reading. Regardless of his looks you should be ashamed of yourself for wanting to marry for money.

If this is genuine, I'm Taylor Swift.

Run for the hills. Him not you.

Money every time. A wise woman once said to me, ‘Swifty, money doesn’t buy you happiness but I’d rather cry in a Lamborghini’, and she is right. Make him feel like he’s the best looking man in the world if you have to, it’s a small price to pay to come into riches. You can always divorce soon afterwards 💰

What a very sad indictment of some people’s values this is.

If he’s 38 and loaded and still single, there must be a reason for that. Perhaps he isn’t attractive to most females.

A coffee won’t harm though he might be a nice bloke where you could at least spark a friendship if nothing else. Nothing lost in doing that.

Love isn’t real, not in the sense that you think it does in the romance novels and films you all watch on a day to day basis. It’s nice to think it does but it does not, men do not see us as people, only objects to consume and discard once they are done, fickle as they are.

When faced with the prospect of getting something tangible for the ignominy of shacking up with a man, why would you not want what’s best for a sister?

I would meet up, he'll probably only rate you a 1/10 then it's probem solved.

What do you actually bring to the table, apart from your lack of knowledge about Pringles ?

Take it easy @ForeverHopeful3. With your stunning good looks , sparkling personality and undeniable intellect, this rich man may feel utterly distraught should you turn him down after one date.

Steady as you go, old girl. Splice the mainbrace 🙄

I guess this is cultural for you- but guess what, it’s time to change your culture and evolve a woman’s role in it. Get yourself a good job (training first if necessary) where you can afford to take care of yourself in the style you want to. It’s 2025. Really this kind of attitude needs to die out COMPLETELY.

What an utterly bizarre thread.

It would be phenomenally cruel to fake an interest in someone who ‘physically repulses you’ because you fancy their wallet and material trappings. You can’t bring yourself to say a single kind or positive thing about this man; doesn’t bode well for how you would actually treat him. Irregardless of your perception of his physical attractiveness, he’s a human being, not an ATM.

Poor man. He could do better than you

You know the answer.
Remember if he finds out you only married him for wealth he might write u out the will or just use you for babies etc etc etc
Whatever its an absolute NO way josé from me.