Looking more than a friendship but no sex

[Madammewington]

I am divorced, late 50s and after ten years of being single I have started to think I might like a relationship but I am absolutely not interested in sex.
(I am not looking for advice on hrt or anything else to improve my libido)
Other forms of physical affection ie hand holding and cuddling would be nice.
I’m open to the idea of living together or living apart and just spending a lot of time together.
I am thinking about trying online dating on the small chance there might be a man out there who feels the same but presumably the vast majority are looking for sex even in the age group which would interest me.
Does anybody else feel like this? Has anybody tried looking?

Every relationship involves a quid pro quo. What would a man get from this arrangement, aside from frustration?

Well, indeed, but the only kind of middle-aged male willing to confine himself to a sexless relationship would be one already in some sort of dysfunctional relationship with his loins.

I think the "official" terminology for this would be an asexual relationship? You could try looking for other asexual people and try to find someone similarly minded?

If you do try online dating be clear you are just looking for male companionship then there is no confusion. You never know, you might find someone who is looking for the same, no harm in trying.

Are you seriously saying that the only thing a man could get from a relationship is sex?

Yes, of course this would be made very clear. No point wasting my time or theirs.

Look up asexuality. There are plenty of people who want relationships without sex, there are even special dating sites just for asexuals.

I know of a few ace people who have managed to settle down into happy relationships so it is possible.

I guess someone with a low libido or erectile dysfunction would be ideal. But must admit I’m a bit confused as to why someone so young would write off a sex life?

No. I am saying “Why have a relationship if not for sex?”.

If I wanted a companion I would just get a lodger. Or a dog.

Well you do you.
For me, there is more than sex to a close relationship with a man.

As others have said, check out the ace dating sites. There’s plenty of people out there who aren’t interested in a physical relationship (me included)

Not everyone feels the same.
I think many people assume their own experience (not just meaning sex) is universal but it really isn’t.
I know several women my age who would be or are happy to never have sex again. Equally I know others to whom sex is an important part of life.

There have been a few threads recently where the female poster has been in exactly the sort of relationship that you would like OP, but hasn't been happy about it.

You will be someone's perfect partner OP. Fingers crossed for you.x

Bit concerned that asexual specific dating sites are more targeted at young people after quick google showed they seemed to be aimed at the recent alphabet soup of those who want a badge to proclaim they are special?
I am just a boring straight middle aged woman who feels she has had enough shagging for one lifetime.

A lot of men are looking more for housekeeping and financial support, a nurse with a purse they call it.

You are right there and I will be wary of this.

This is why women have women friends.
Companions, friendship, doing stuff together.

I think you're being unrealistic. Most men your age want sex. Late 50s is young to give up sex. You may well find some men who aren't bothered about sex but they are likely to be in their 80s.

Have you always been not keen on sex or is this a new post meno thing?
Isn't being attracted to a man about fancying them as well?

If it's not just stick to women friends.

There are some asexual men out there, but not many.

I wouldn't have put it as bluntly as pp but I think what you're looking for is going to be difficult to find. Realistically most men will be looking for a sexual relationship.

Yes, as The Wonder Stuff once sang “Forget your heart, it’s your bank I wanna break.”

I think a lot of older women who say they would be happy never to have sex again are simply bored with their partners of 30 years and if they had the chance of a hot younger man their libido would perk up.

Agree with others that an older man saying at the outset he doesn't want sex is likely to have ED or psychological issues, or they are doing a deal - you'd be chief cook and housekeeper .

I doubt very much this is going to work for you if you say you simply want a companion.

Maybe an older gay man would be up for it?