Long winded text I've written to send to a man I like, thoughts?!

[BeBe05]

Hi T , because I've felt like this since last December. Would you like to come over for a drink some time? (When the kids are in bed) I know you probably won't , but just in case you do want to get to know me better, I thought I'd ask. As I know this is awkward. If you don't reply I'll take it as a no. And when I next see you , please be the same as before , although I may laugh. Because that's what I do when I'm embarrassed. Also, please don't tell anyone either way.
Also, I'm guessing no. Feels like when I was 8 years old and I told a boy called Lawrence in my class I Iiked him, I was so innocent. He called me a pig and broke my little heart. I still am innocent. I feel this maybe this again but hopefully without you calling me a pig. A thing I've made up in my head, because you are a polite man who doesn't gruff at me and surprises me when you talk from your heart. I've.not been use to that apart from with my brother's . P never would. Also, he would call me expletives most days, so any man not doing that would unfortunately gain my interest. God what an essay.
Don't reply please as I know it's completely crazy .
Also, just so you know every time you waved hello at me in the morning on the school run in your van. You made a woman who had so low self esteem feel just a little bit better about herself. Like she mattered enough to be noticed. Thanks for that.
And, also please don't be weird with me after this , as I really was hoping to ask you if you could help with the training at school (if your doing that) as my younger two go to bed at 7:30 .
Anyway , have a nice evening , and also thanks for how much you give to L at football, your a good guy.

Crikey!!! I’d definitely advise against sending this OP. It makes you come across as very desperate, vulnerable (not in a good way), and neurotic.

Jesus Christ , do not send that 🙈
Just say , hey , how’re you ? was wondering would you fancy going for a drink some eve ? ..

Nothing stopping you saying face to face, "Do you fancy going for a drink?"

Yeah, yeah, it does involve courage but the worst he can say is no, especially when said directly.

I’d genuinely be less weirded out if a work colleague sent me the full text of the Unabomber manifesto.

He will think you have ADHD

I haven't read the whole thread, just OP's posts. I see the bipolar post. I didn't want to write my thoughts without checking the IQ/mental health/neurodivergent status of OP 1st as, clearly, that message reads as from someone not of typical processing. I'm glad you're not going to send it OP. That kind of message would have a decent guy running a mile or a not decent guy getting fired right in so he could abuse and manipulate a vulnerable person.

Well I agree it's a long winded text.

Oh dear lord no OP…I’m all for taking the lead and asking a man out on a date, but don’t ever send anything like this. Keep it simple and unapologetic…

Hi Mike, was wondering if you fancy going for a drink one evening? Sarah x

Honestly, anyone receiving your initial message would run a mile. It’s so full on!

Did not send that.

No man or woman wants a long winded text and basically it just reads as one long whine.

It's giving Baby Reindeer.

Hi T , because I've felt like this since last December. Would you like to come over for a drink some time?

just this. Absolutely do not send the rest.

edit: I’d actually delete the feeling since last December part as well.

Hi T , Would you like to come over for a drink some time?

Even that makes no sense. Felt like what? It's a weird opener.

You can't give away so much personal info, especially in written form! If you get together these things come out naturally. Also, there's no way, being the nice guy you've said he is, that he could be negative back so you wouldnt know if he really was interested or not.

Jesus fucking christ no!! Have you been drinking?

Obviously it's all horrendous but asking him round for a drink when the kids are in bed reads like you're inviting him for a shag. If that's not what you're offering him then write something like "Hi T. Hope you're well. Was just wondering if you fancied grabbing a coffee together sometime next week?".

Firm no.
Hey would like to come over for drinks some time when the kids are in bed.
Also stop selling yourself short and work on your self confidence.

OMG -seriously? How old are you ? he will run a mile and rightly so - just WOW

I absolutely agree.

Just asking him if he’d like to come over is enough.

Or simply asking whether he’d like to meet for a drink might be even better. Neutral place, less intimate, no children present (even though they’d be sleeping).

You don’t have to apologise. People are just saying that message will not be effective, not that you shouldn’t send a text or ask him out. If you do, please try to keep it brief and don’t put yourself down. Best of luck

Exactly!!!

I wasn't going to say Bipolar, but have you considered ADHD? I have it, and this looks like something past-me would have seriously considered sending. I was absolutely addicted to crushes and never didn't have one. I've now been single for 18 months, which is the longest I have been since I was 15. And it's given me so much more clarity.

I’m glad you’ve seen sense and haven’t sent that message!

honestly, even if he does like you, that message would send him running for the hills.

but I think you should ask him for a drink - what’s the worst thing that can happen? Just don’t add in all the awkward stuff about your low self esteem and everything else.

How do you know him? Is it wise to invite a man over to yours with your children in bed?

You sound really vulnerable @BeBe05.

Christ no. Ask the man out for a drink if you like him, a simple 1 sentence text will do it. No need for that long meandering abstract tale with multiple personalities, sounding like you've been following him around for months 😅.

"Hi, I wondered if you fancied going out for a drink sometime?"