Page 11 | Long winded text I've written to send to a man I like, thoughts?!

Waterbaby41 · 09/11/2025 21:23

Are you drunk?

Notfeelinguptoit · 09/11/2025 21:23

Limon87 · 09/11/2025 21:18

ChatGbT came back with the below - I can be an emotional hot headed texter and always chuck any messages I’m overthinking in for feedback. Aware it’s AI but this neutral review does stop me falling out with friends etc. 😆

“That’s a really heartfelt and vulnerable message — you can tell she’s being completely honest and genuine. But as it stands, it’s way too long, emotionally heavy, and self-deprecating, which makes it risky to send to someone she likes but isn’t yet close to. It might overwhelm or confuse him, even if he’s a kind person.

Let’s unpack it briefly, then I can show you a version that keeps the warmth but feels lighter and more confident.

What’s good about it

It’s sincere and touching — she’s not playing games.
It clearly invites him for a drink.
It expresses gratitude in a kind way.

What could go wrong

There’s a lot of emotional backstory (past rejection, low self-esteem, ex issues) that he doesn’t need right now.
Multiple apologies and “I know this is crazy” type lines make it sound like she’s expecting rejection — that lowers the energy.
It asks him not to reply, then also says she’d like him to come for a drink, which is confusing.

A gentler, confident rewrite

Here’s how she could say the same thing but in a way that feels warm, simple, and clear:

Hi T,
I’ve been meaning to say — would you like to come over for a drink one evening when the kids are in bed? I’ve really enjoyed chatting with you and thought it would be nice to get to know you better.

If not, no worries at all — I’ll just see you as normal on the school run!

And thank you, by the way — your friendly waves in the morning have honestly brightened my days more than you probably realise.

Take care,
[Her name]

That version:

Keeps the heart and honesty.
Doesn’t overshare or apologise for existing.
Leaves him space to say yes or no comfortably.

good luck. You’re not pathetic, but you so sound like your confidence is on the ground. So hoping you can find ways to work on that. You do not need to grovel with anyone to come for a drink. Try to love yourself a bit more x

This is a great example of a message, I’d definitely send this.

Pyjamatimenow · 09/11/2025 21:24

Don’t send that or anything at all. If he liked you he’d ask you out. End of.

LoyalMember · 09/11/2025 21:27

Jesus Fuck, no...😆

ForDreamyJoker · 09/11/2025 21:28

Don't laugh at yourself if you wanna go for it go for it like you said his low self esteem as well perhaps he has feelings as well and doesnt know how to approach you as well

TheFatCatSatOnTheMat · 09/11/2025 21:32

Olivetawny · 09/11/2025 17:56

Too mean.

Show quote history

Not too mean at all, I refrained from pointing out that she had used “your” instead of “you’re” so I deserve a medal really.

Creamteasandbumblebees · 09/11/2025 21:41

No, No, No!!
Sounds like desperate drunk ramblings....do not press send!!!

usedtobeaylis · 09/11/2025 21:41

You're wearing your heart on your sleeve and that's not something to mock. You clearly want connection - but maybe leave that extent of it for a later date. But definitely ask him out or over for a drink! Just a simple message.

fireandlightening · 09/11/2025 21:42

yeesh · 09/11/2025 17:01

I really hope you haven’t sent that 🙈

This! I would run a mile if I were him. Please just ask if he'd like to meet up for a drink, and delete the rest. Rest is overshare, over familiar and over kill.

mumof5five · 09/11/2025 21:43

Hi, would you like to come over for a drink this wednesday at around 7? Let me know.

Something like this is more than enough

workingitout1234 · 09/11/2025 21:44

Do not send!!

mrlistersgelfbride · 09/11/2025 21:46

Mate , don’t send that.

I wouldn’t even ask him out.

If a man likes you, he asks.

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/11/2025 21:47

Going against the grain, send it.

Then write the novel around it and make a fortune.

The end.

Subwaystop · 09/11/2025 21:48

You’re being yourself. It doesn’t sound crazy to me. Sounds human. (I suppose all of us humans have a little crazy in us and it’s actually a beautiful thing.)

I’d much rather be asked out like this than a curt “fancy a drink” which tells me absolutely nothing about the mindset of the asker.

If you get hurt, dust yourself off and keep going! 💐

ThatCyanCat · 09/11/2025 21:49

Subwaystop · 09/11/2025 21:48

You’re being yourself. It doesn’t sound crazy to me. Sounds human. (I suppose all of us humans have a little crazy in us and it’s actually a beautiful thing.)

I’d much rather be asked out like this than a curt “fancy a drink” which tells me absolutely nothing about the mindset of the asker.

If you get hurt, dust yourself off and keep going! 💐

Edited

I really, truly don't mean to be rude (you'd know if I did) but OP, for the love of God don't listen to this.

Tink3rbell30 · 09/11/2025 21:54

No no and I wouldn't invite a man over my house either especially with my kids there.

MayaPinion · 09/11/2025 21:55

Limon87 · 09/11/2025 21:18

ChatGbT came back with the below - I can be an emotional hot headed texter and always chuck any messages I’m overthinking in for feedback. Aware it’s AI but this neutral review does stop me falling out with friends etc. 😆

“That’s a really heartfelt and vulnerable message — you can tell she’s being completely honest and genuine. But as it stands, it’s way too long, emotionally heavy, and self-deprecating, which makes it risky to send to someone she likes but isn’t yet close to. It might overwhelm or confuse him, even if he’s a kind person.

Let’s unpack it briefly, then I can show you a version that keeps the warmth but feels lighter and more confident.

What’s good about it

It’s sincere and touching — she’s not playing games.
It clearly invites him for a drink.
It expresses gratitude in a kind way.

What could go wrong

There’s a lot of emotional backstory (past rejection, low self-esteem, ex issues) that he doesn’t need right now.
Multiple apologies and “I know this is crazy” type lines make it sound like she’s expecting rejection — that lowers the energy.
It asks him not to reply, then also says she’d like him to come for a drink, which is confusing.

A gentler, confident rewrite

Here’s how she could say the same thing but in a way that feels warm, simple, and clear:

Hi T,
I’ve been meaning to say — would you like to come over for a drink one evening when the kids are in bed? I’ve really enjoyed chatting with you and thought it would be nice to get to know you better.

If not, no worries at all — I’ll just see you as normal on the school run!

And thank you, by the way — your friendly waves in the morning have honestly brightened my days more than you probably realise.

Take care,
[Her name]

That version:

Keeps the heart and honesty.
Doesn’t overshare or apologise for existing.
Leaves him space to say yes or no comfortably.

good luck. You’re not pathetic, but you so sound like your confidence is on the ground. So hoping you can find ways to work on that. You do not need to grovel with anyone to come for a drink. Try to love yourself a bit more x

Nooo, that’s so cringey and needy. There’s absolutely no need for the thank you for the cheery wave. It sounds like you’re desperate for them.

A quick, ‘Hi Bob, great to see you this morning. Do you fancy coming over for a drink on Tuesday after the kids have gone to bed?’ is sufficient.

ChaliceinWonderland · 09/11/2025 21:56

Instead of texting, get hold of some counselling sessions. You need this more. You are in no place to date anyone, mentally.

lostintranslation148 · 09/11/2025 22:04

Are you ND OP? I recognise that style of hugely over explaining so that you are not misunderstood.

I think you sound really sweet, but approaching a relationship sounding like you're a desperate victim who has a very low bar is not the way to go!

I think you should forget this for now and just start learning to value yourself. A man isn't good enough for you just because he doesn't swear at you all the time!

Subwaystop · 09/11/2025 22:05

ThatCyanCat · 09/11/2025 21:49

I really, truly don't mean to be rude (you'd know if I did) but OP, for the love of God don't listen to this.

Show quote history

I gave her absolutely no advice.

i told her how I read it. It felt heart on sleeve. Honest. Self deprecating. Scared. Hopeful. Ashamed. Daring anyway.

Human.

People send messages like this every day. Making op out to be a lunatic nut and kicking her while she’s down in one giant mob is awful.

Whatever damage could have come from this text is nothing compared to the damage to her psyche from a whole herd of online people pummeling at her. And completely exaggerating how bad it is.

Would I ever send this? No. But I’m also not OP. People send lots of messages I wouldn’t send. Some of them are not great. It’s not the end of the world.

It didn’t warrant this response at all. You never know how much damage a group of harsh critics like this can do to a person. And for what? A bit of a too vulnerable text? Omg.

TheDenimPoet · 09/11/2025 22:10

Oh my god, no.

"Hey, just wondering if you fancy meeting for a drink sometime? You're welcome to come to mine one evening!"

Done.

Honestly, if I got a message like the one you wrote off someone I would run a mile.

Justgorgeous · 09/11/2025 22:14

Man seen running to the hills.

Laura95167 · 09/11/2025 22:19

BeBe05 · 09/11/2025 16:58

Hi T , because I've felt like this since last December. Would you like to come over for a drink some time? (When the kids are in bed) I know you probably won't , but just in case you do want to get to know me better, I thought I'd ask. As I know this is awkward. If you don't reply I'll take it as a no. And when I next see you , please be the same as before , although I may laugh. Because that's what I do when I'm embarrassed. Also, please don't tell anyone either way.
Also, I'm guessing no. Feels like when I was 8 years old and I told a boy called Lawrence in my class I Iiked him, I was so innocent. He called me a pig and broke my little heart. I still am innocent. I feel this maybe this again but hopefully without you calling me a pig. A thing I've made up in my head, because you are a polite man who doesn't gruff at me and surprises me when you talk from your heart. I've.not been use to that apart from with my brother's . P never would. Also, he would call me expletives most days, so any man not doing that would unfortunately gain my interest. God what an essay.
Don't reply please as I know it's completely crazy .
Also, just so you know every time you waved hello at me in the morning on the school run in your van. You made a woman who had so low self esteem feel just a little bit better about herself. Like she mattered enough to be noticed. Thanks for that.
And, also please don't be weird with me after this , as I really was hoping to ask you if you could help with the training at school (if your doing that) as my younger two go to bed at 7:30 .
Anyway , have a nice evening , and also thanks for how much you give to L at football, your a good guy.

Hi T, I was wondering if youre free about Xpm on Yday and fancied coming round for a drink or a cuppa even? Please text when you arrive DCs will be in bed

There fixed it for you

Errahstop · 09/11/2025 22:19

You are not ready for a relationship. Put time and effort into yourself and bolstering your self esteem first. You deserve to be happy, not begging someone and being grateful for attention

pinkpony88 · 09/11/2025 22:25

rookiemere · 09/11/2025 17:02

Jeez no. Are you on glue ?

😂😂😂