Long winded text I've written to send to a man I like, thoughts?!

[BeBe05]

Hi T , because I've felt like this since last December. Would you like to come over for a drink some time? (When the kids are in bed) I know you probably won't , but just in case you do want to get to know me better, I thought I'd ask. As I know this is awkward. If you don't reply I'll take it as a no. And when I next see you , please be the same as before , although I may laugh. Because that's what I do when I'm embarrassed. Also, please don't tell anyone either way.
Also, I'm guessing no. Feels like when I was 8 years old and I told a boy called Lawrence in my class I Iiked him, I was so innocent. He called me a pig and broke my little heart. I still am innocent. I feel this maybe this again but hopefully without you calling me a pig. A thing I've made up in my head, because you are a polite man who doesn't gruff at me and surprises me when you talk from your heart. I've.not been use to that apart from with my brother's . P never would. Also, he would call me expletives most days, so any man not doing that would unfortunately gain my interest. God what an essay.
Don't reply please as I know it's completely crazy .
Also, just so you know every time you waved hello at me in the morning on the school run in your van. You made a woman who had so low self esteem feel just a little bit better about herself. Like she mattered enough to be noticed. Thanks for that.
And, also please don't be weird with me after this , as I really was hoping to ask you if you could help with the training at school (if your doing that) as my younger two go to bed at 7:30 .
Anyway , have a nice evening , and also thanks for how much you give to L at football, your a good guy.

Are you going to ask him for a drink though?

“Hi T, fancy a drink next Thursday? Would love to catch up x”

Now give yourself some time and love to get in a better place. Have you done the freedom programme?

But you don’t know him as a romantic/sexual partner. It’s a different thing.

Bat shit crazy, shorten it down a lot

OP, gently, don't project your self esteem issues onto him. If you like him, there is nothing wrong with inviting him for that drink, but leave the text simple. Hi [him], would love to catch a drink if you're free Saturday!" and leave it. Even if he doesn't like to text or if he has self esteem issues as you say, the ball is on his court. Also worth mentioning that if he does suffer low self esteem or anxiety, he very well might not have pursued you previously as you indicated in your post. Let him know you're interested, but in a far less...verbose...way. Good luck!

Please be very careful and don't invite men to your home for drinks. Meet at a neutral place and let someone know where you are going. Especially when you have kids in the house!

That's one of the worst texts I've ever seen.

Also a no from me.

”Hi. I wondered if you fancy a drink sometime?”

Op,you’ve sent him basic texts before and he doesn’t even bother to respond?? This man isn’t interested, if he was he’d jump at responding and it takes twenty seconds to say no can’t take x sorry got x on. And saying he doesn’t like texting as way of excuse is just that, he is trying to smooth over as he wants you to stay away and ignores you when feasible,

this is even more reason to not text him at all. Please don’t ask him to come to your house for a drink. At best he will say no, at worst he will do something worse and make you feel really bad.

and never ever invite a man to your home for something romantic as a first date, ever. And never ever with your kids there. If you meet go for a drink out.

and again, this isn’t the man op, he’s not interested. Get thee on tinder or something,

Really dismayed at the posters saying let him know the kids will be there. I can only hope these are men, as women really should know better by now.

Thats a bit much.... comes across as obsessive

Hey T
Wondered if you wanted to come over for a drink one evening? Im moatly free after X o'clock
Thanks

Worst case he ignores it or replies no.
Best case he says yes

Good luck OP

Hope you're OK op

^^

FGS, don’t send that!!!! Just a simple ‘hi, fancy a drink when the kids are in bed?’ It’s either a yes or a no then with no pressure. You sound unhinged in that original message.

I would ask in person or just send a simple text, fancy a drink sometime? don’t give him a get out option, it’s not a no unless he decides that, confidence is sexy, even if he’s not interested I bet he’ll still be flattered.

Is there any point to your message besides showing yourself to be a complete wanker?

Seriously, between this and the prick who came out with the embarrassing ‘my toes are still curling’ line, this thread is just the pits.

It’s evident to even the most moronic of Mumsnetters that the OP’s self esteem is low. Shit, she even wrote that very thing. Why kick someone when they’re down?

Bitches.

OP, I agree with the uncunty PPs that it’s just a bit much. It’s not self-indulgent though, just misguided. I think your sincerity is endearing but also think it’d be utterly terrifying to this lovely-sounding bloke you fancy.

It sounds like you’ve been through a lot and deserve some happiness so would encourage you to reach out to him. But a lot more subtly and go from there. You’ll know more if you spend time one-on-one if he’s interested in you in the same way. As will you if he declines your - much shorter! - invite for a drink.

Wishing you the best x

This what I think, can't you text him and ask to meet for a coffee after the school run rather than coming to yours in the evening?...I know you've known him for 6 years but meeting for a coffee in the day will be less stressful for both of you..

Ask him IRL, casually. But before that, ask yourself if you’re ready to date, check your boundaries are in place and that you genuinely believe that this man would be lucky to be asked by you.

Ffs NO. Are you high?!

Good god! I think you need to work on yourself OP

Do not invite some bloke over while your kids are in bed.

If he’s anything like my husband any more than 3 words or an instruction and he’s not reading it

ChatGbT came back with the below - I can be an emotional hot headed texter and always chuck any messages I’m overthinking in for feedback. Aware it’s AI but this neutral review does stop me falling out with friends etc. 😆

“That’s a really heartfelt and vulnerable message — you can tell she’s being completely honest and genuine. But as it stands, it’s way too long, emotionally heavy, and self-deprecating, which makes it risky to send to someone she likes but isn’t yet close to. It might overwhelm or confuse him, even if he’s a kind person.

Let’s unpack it briefly, then I can show you a version that keeps the warmth but feels lighter and more confident.

What’s good about it

• It’s sincere and touching — she’s not playing games.
• It clearly invites him for a drink.
• It expresses gratitude in a kind way.

What could go wrong

• There’s a lot of emotional backstory (past rejection, low self-esteem, ex issues) that he doesn’t need right now.
• Multiple apologies and “I know this is crazy” type lines make it sound like she’s expecting rejection — that lowers the energy.
• It asks him not to reply, then also says she’d like him to come for a drink, which is confusing.

A gentler, confident rewrite

Here’s how she could say the same thing but in a way that feels warm, simple, and clear:

Hi T,
I’ve been meaning to say — would you like to come over for a drink one evening when the kids are in bed? I’ve really enjoyed chatting with you and thought it would be nice to get to know you better.

If not, no worries at all — I’ll just see you as normal on the school run!

And thank you, by the way — your friendly waves in the morning have honestly brightened my days more than you probably realise.

Take care,
[Her name]

That version:

• Keeps the heart and honesty.
• Doesn’t overshare or apologise for existing.
• Leaves him space to say yes or no comfortably.

good luck. You’re not pathetic, but you so sound like your confidence is on the ground. So hoping you can find ways to work on that. You do not need to grovel with anyone to come for a drink. Try to love yourself a bit more x

Hope you're ok OP. You sound like you've been through a lot and are feeling quite lonely and isolated. Have you any friends you can reach out to?

I agree the text is a bit too much, but sometimes it's helpful to write out how you feel (just not sending it to someone you'd like to date). I'm sorry some posters on here have been quite rude about it. I don't think that's necessary.

Sending hugs x

Honestly it’s a lovely text!!

But yeah don’t send.
Maybe keep parts though but shorten it down.
Dont over apologise for asking him round either.

But it has a really lovely vibe and is witty in places, keep that level of authenticity about you - but definitely shorten it down x