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Original poster

Lied about his height

431 replies

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 10:29

I went on a date last night (met online). In his profile he said he was 6ft (I have nothing set for height restrictions) but when he turned up I knew he was not 6ft. My ex-husband, family members and male friends are 6ft. I know what 6ft looks like. I’d put him at 5ft 10” on a good day. I asked him about it and he said, “I’m 5ft 11” seemed silly to worry about an inch.” I don’t care how tall he is, but I am worried that this is an indication that he will lie about other things too? I don't date the men who put in their profile “Not really 55, 65” as though my chosen age filters are not important. Is this the same?

Anyone dated someone who lied about this online, and they turned out to be an honest, okay guy?

OP posts:
centaury · 27/10/2025 13:12

A lot of women who put the height thing down cannot actually tell the difference between 5'11 and 6'. Or they care about it as part of a fantasy list about the ideal partner but don't care in practice when they have a great date with a slightly shorter man. So it's not that they're shallow exactly but that they're prone to getting sucked into fads or groupthink - a pretty common female foible. Men know this so making themselves an inch or 2 taller to meet this demographic of women is worthwhile strategy. I don't think I could muster the energy to call it a lie to be honest. Maybe if they were claiming to be 4+ inches taller...

It's probably annoying for the women who are 6ft-ish and genuinely just want a man that is their height or taller but bearing in mind how rare women this tall are, they must be very much in the minority

No5ChalksRoad · 27/10/2025 13:12

TryingToBeHelpful267 · 27/10/2025 13:07

To me it would be an indicator that they’re trying to get as many dates as possible and not interested in making a genuine connection.

I do feel sorry for men when it comes to height quite a few women don’t want a short man so it is difficult for them, but 5,10 isn’t short so really he’s just lying to meet more women. Quantity over quality says a lot about his character.

A completely baseless and fabricated conclusion.

Isthismykarma · 27/10/2025 13:13

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 13:09

I did like him, which is why I am asking. If I hadn't then I wouldn't worry about missing out on anything by not dating him again. I think it's more how he handled it. If he'd laughed at himself, that would have been a green flag.

Show quote history

Yeah that’s true. He did make light of it straight away. I said “I thought you were 5 10” and he said “I am.. in heels!” 🤣
My pics were from when I was about half a stone lighter so I guess it can be tit for tat

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 27/10/2025 13:14

Neemie · 27/10/2025 12:56

You obviously care enough to size him up to the nearest inch. If you said you were 8 stone 13 and your date said that you looked nearer 9 stone. Would you think:
a) I’m so deceitful trying to scam this poor innocent man who said he didn’t care about weight but hates liars.
or
b) what a weight obsessed dickhead this guy is.

Show quote history

Apples and oranges.

  1. One lb of mass at 9st (0.8% error) isn't comparable in terms of inaccuracy to one inch of height at 6ft (1.4% error).
  2. Body mass changes daily. Height doesn't. It's understandable that someone's weight might have changed since profile setup, so a discrepancy isn't necessarily a lie.
OtherS · 27/10/2025 13:14

I think a lot of guys actually don't know their height, and have convinced themselves they're taller than they are. I recently met a guy who was at most 5,8 (more like barely 5,7) and he was adamant he was 5,10. He wasn't trying to impress us in any way, and we didn't tell him that no he wasn't - he just happily talked about how he was precisely 5,10 and average height, and we smiled and nodded. But yeah, I'd have possibly thought he was a liar and even a bit of a dick if I'd arranged a date with him... Maybe we should have advised him that he might want to have himself remeasured, I hope it doesn't put any girls off!

OldLondonDad · 27/10/2025 13:14

OLD is harsh. You immediately get filtered out of search results for being too short, too old, too low of an income, not the right occupation, insufficient number of degrees, heck, even the wrong star sign.

It is very rare for someone to be entirely truthful on OLD. The women are just as harsh in who they filter out as the men are. I'd cut him some slack if he's otherwise decent - maybe mention to him you aren't happy about that, and you won't stand for anything lying or deceit in the future, but you get why he did and you're giving him another chance. His reaction will tell you far more than just cutting things off.

wfhwfh · 27/10/2025 13:15

I understand what you are saying about the honesty, OP. A long time ago, I met a man on OLD. He was good-looking and we got on well. About Date 3, he told me he was 5 years older than he’d put in his profile. It was still totally within the age range I was used to dating (so his age was a non-issue), but the deception bothered me. It just seemed like a lot of drama and subterfuge for someone i wasnt invested in.

I lost interest at that point. Id lose interest in your case too - especially on being told height was a “silly” factor. Your guy obviously doesnt think its silly to women or he wouldnt have lied about it. So what he’s really saying is women are influenced by silly things and need to be corrected by men as to what’s important.

The reality is OLD IS shallow. But men are far more looks-focussed than women - so they just need to be honest and deal with it (or dont go on the apps).

Original poster
rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 13:15

JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 13:12

Missing the point.

I think you know the answer.

You had lots of replies and you're still not happy with the posters who say be a bit more easy going on this one.

Show quote history

I don't know the answer, nor am I unhappy with posters who want me go easy on him. I'm on the fence because I did quite like him, if I had just thought he was an idiot regardless of the height issue, I wouldn't bother posting on here.

OP posts:
JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 13:15

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 11:04

Nope. Read my post, it doesn't. Honesty means a lot to me. I've dated liars before and I don't want to do that again.

Show quote history

Okay...
so don't see him.

That's your answer.

Why is it so complicated?

Lucelady · 27/10/2025 13:16

I'm tall, 5' 10'' and my DH is 6'5''.

I dated a few shorter guys but it was before online dating. It doesn't particularly bother me.
OP why don't you put in your profile you won't be second dating truth stretchers (height, job etc) ?

If I'm honest my 6'6'' son looks daft next to his foot shorter girlfriend but there we are.

Blueskies77 · 27/10/2025 13:16

I knew 2 men (one I dated for a while, one I was friends with for years) who both lied about their age by 1 year. It was the weirdest thing and they both turned out to be a-holes. I know there are ideas around height and women supposedly preferring taller men but why lie! Sounds like it gave you the ick and generally there’s no going back from that.

JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 13:17

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 13:15

I don't know the answer, nor am I unhappy with posters who want me go easy on him. I'm on the fence because I did quite like him, if I had just thought he was an idiot regardless of the height issue, I wouldn't bother posting on here.

Show quote history

But you've had lots of replies.

There is the 'you're making a mountain out of a molehill' or 'He's a downright liar'

Do you find it hard to make decisions on everything?

I don't know what you expect to happen on this thread. Other than get conflicting opinions.

No5ChalksRoad · 27/10/2025 13:18

Lucelady · 27/10/2025 13:16

I'm tall, 5' 10'' and my DH is 6'5''.

I dated a few shorter guys but it was before online dating. It doesn't particularly bother me.
OP why don't you put in your profile you won't be second dating truth stretchers (height, job etc) ?

If I'm honest my 6'6'' son looks daft next to his foot shorter girlfriend but there we are.

It’s an excellent idea for OP to amend her profile to that effect.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 27/10/2025 13:19

JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 13:07

People don't state ALL their stats- like their BMI or weight.

I wonder why?

It's ridiculous that more men are chosen if they are 6' and over.

Maybe if women had to have a BMI of under 21 they would drop it down a bit too?

Edited
Show quote history

Why would anyone want to date someone who is so shallow as to filter potential partners based on height? Leave it blank or be honest, that way you'll filter out the jerks.

YouHaveAnArse · 27/10/2025 13:20

centaury · 27/10/2025 13:12

A lot of women who put the height thing down cannot actually tell the difference between 5'11 and 6'. Or they care about it as part of a fantasy list about the ideal partner but don't care in practice when they have a great date with a slightly shorter man. So it's not that they're shallow exactly but that they're prone to getting sucked into fads or groupthink - a pretty common female foible. Men know this so making themselves an inch or 2 taller to meet this demographic of women is worthwhile strategy. I don't think I could muster the energy to call it a lie to be honest. Maybe if they were claiming to be 4+ inches taller...

It's probably annoying for the women who are 6ft-ish and genuinely just want a man that is their height or taller but bearing in mind how rare women this tall are, they must be very much in the minority

" So it's not that they're shallow exactly but that they're prone to getting sucked into fads or groupthink - a pretty common female foible"

I don't think it's your height that's the problem here

Fiftyandme · 27/10/2025 13:21

Lying and then gaslighting.

That’s a no

No5ChalksRoad · 27/10/2025 13:21

OT: my friend snooped on her husband’s computer and found multiple dating site profiles in which he claimed to be a “55-year-old Christian widower.”

He was 63, never set foot in a church in his life, and she was very much alive.

JeminaTheGiantBear · 27/10/2025 13:22

Men completely delude themselves about height. My own partner insists to me he’s a bit taller than he is. He’s not lying. He just remembers when he was that height (he has lost a bit of height).

I would give him another go. Maybe he will turn out to be awful, or lovely, but this is no indication either way. It is just insignificant.

MossAndLeaves · 27/10/2025 13:22

My friends husband told her he was 5 ft 10 online. He's 5 ft 8.
They have a great relationship and he's generally honest. I think it was embarrassment and trying not to be vetoed over a couple of inches if women have a filter on when searching.

Fiftyandme · 27/10/2025 13:22

centaury · 27/10/2025 13:12

A lot of women who put the height thing down cannot actually tell the difference between 5'11 and 6'. Or they care about it as part of a fantasy list about the ideal partner but don't care in practice when they have a great date with a slightly shorter man. So it's not that they're shallow exactly but that they're prone to getting sucked into fads or groupthink - a pretty common female foible. Men know this so making themselves an inch or 2 taller to meet this demographic of women is worthwhile strategy. I don't think I could muster the energy to call it a lie to be honest. Maybe if they were claiming to be 4+ inches taller...

It's probably annoying for the women who are 6ft-ish and genuinely just want a man that is their height or taller but bearing in mind how rare women this tall are, they must be very much in the minority

It’s not your height that’s the issue….

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 27/10/2025 13:22

OtherS · 27/10/2025 13:14

I think a lot of guys actually don't know their height, and have convinced themselves they're taller than they are. I recently met a guy who was at most 5,8 (more like barely 5,7) and he was adamant he was 5,10. He wasn't trying to impress us in any way, and we didn't tell him that no he wasn't - he just happily talked about how he was precisely 5,10 and average height, and we smiled and nodded. But yeah, I'd have possibly thought he was a liar and even a bit of a dick if I'd arranged a date with him... Maybe we should have advised him that he might want to have himself remeasured, I hope it doesn't put any girls off!

I don't think height's the only dimension they underestimate...

Original poster
rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 13:25

JosephineBoneApart · 27/10/2025 13:17

But you've had lots of replies.

There is the 'you're making a mountain out of a molehill' or 'He's a downright liar'

Do you find it hard to make decisions on everything?

I don't know what you expect to happen on this thread. Other than get conflicting opinions.

Show quote history

I don't mind the conflicting opinions. I like them, it's opening up my mindset, but I haven't made my mind up yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 13:29

Fiftyandme · 27/10/2025 13:21

Lying and then gaslighting.

That’s a no

Yes, I did wonder if the diminishing his lie as it being a "silly" thing to worry about is classed as "gaslighting."

OP posts:
Seagullstopitnow · 27/10/2025 13:33

I had several knock an entire decade off their age because they felt entitled to work around women's set age boundaries.

They got no second date and told why.
None of them saw the issue.
Eww.

Minto111 · 27/10/2025 13:33

rubberduck68 · 27/10/2025 10:56

In my original post I say "I have nothing set for height restrictions." I don't care about height. I care about dating someone honest.

Show quote history

A lot of men lie about their height on online dating, I have noticed

They know that women want 6 foot +. So if the men are five 10 or 11, they round it up

I suppose we all lie a bit on online dating. I dont exactly lie, but i only put photos of my face on online dating. I am probably a bit heavier body weight then the men expect.