Lied about his height

[rubberduck68]

I went on a date last night (met online). In his profile he said he was 6ft (I have nothing set for height restrictions) but when he turned up I knew he was not 6ft. My ex-husband, family members and male friends are 6ft. I know what 6ft looks like. I’d put him at 5ft 10” on a good day. I asked him about it and he said, “I’m 5ft 11” seemed silly to worry about an inch.” I don’t care how tall he is, but I am worried that this is an indication that he will lie about other things too? I don't date the men who put in their profile “Not really 55, 65” as though my chosen age filters are not important. Is this the same?

Anyone dated someone who lied about this online, and they turned out to be an honest, okay guy?

I agree with you, OP.

The bit that got me was He admitted he'd lied about it on the date then got ahead of my concern by calling it "silly" to worry about that.

It isn't "silly" - it's not about the height, it's about the honesty. He could be 5ft nothing but if he's a good guy, that's irrelevant. It's the fact that he lied about his height, doubled down and then dismissed your opinion.

1. I wouldn't use a service that didn't let me leave those fields blank.
2. I would regard asking someone's weight or height to be rude.
3. I would consider someone asking for my weight or height to be a red flag.
4. I would consider any lie, no matter how small, to be a red flag.

Steady on they've only had 1 date!😂

How was it all left at the end of the date?

Is he texting you or calling you since?

All the better that OP has caught his lying ass out early on.

You obviously care enough to size him up to the nearest inch. If you said you were 8 stone 13 and your date said that you looked nearer 9 stone. Would you think:
a) I’m so deceitful trying to scam this poor innocent man who said he didn’t care about weight but hates liars.
or
b) what a weight obsessed dickhead this guy is.

There’s so much stigma around men’s height. Many, many people think 6’ or over is the only acceptable height for men, I’m not surprised he told a tiny white lie. If he’d been 5’7 and told you 6’, that would be different.

I'm 5ft 10, I don't want to date anyone over six foot because I find it very awkward to not be able to look someone in the eye or have to stand on tiptoe to kiss etc. So I find the 'women only want men over 6ft' a bit weird, I actually think it's more of an incel meme to explain why women are so shallow and that's why they can't get a date etc.

However, I'm with you OP - the lying is what would get to me. And having been out with someone who had a bit of an issue with being shorter than me (which I honestly couldn't give less of a fuck about) I really can't be bothered with people who are so insecure about their height that they feel the need to lie about it.

Did he say you were silly specifically in the context of what you suspected about his overall honesty, or that you were silly in placing importance on the height of your date (him)?

The OP asked for our opinions.

I doubt that her one-time date did.

Not an issue if he's 5ft 10/11 I would feel different if he's eligible to be cast in the Wizard of Oz

It’s a no from me for the lying and stupidity for thinking it wouldn’t get found out?! It’s like people who do a one week course at Oxford uni then declare they studied at Oxford. A friend of mine dated someone who liked about height and uni and turned out he was married.

If he will lie to you about a little thing and then try to tell you that you are "silly" when you call him out on the lie, how can you ever trust him not to lie and gaslight you about the big stuff?

Don't reward his dishonesty with a second date.

I think mumsnet works by sleight of hand and you are illustrating it.

Maybe OP should carry a measuring tape on future dates to more quickly winnow out these bounders.

Nip them in the bud before drinks orders are placed. Save time and money.

My boyfriend did the same! He put 5 10 but he’s more like 5 8. It put me off instantly when I saw him irl but I just liked him so so much.
We’ve been together a year now and he hasn’t lied about anything else and I tease him about it often, so it ended up okay for us but I completely understand how it can get make your back go up.

A date is someone forming opinions. You literally state your stats beforehand as an invitation for someone to evaluate you! People choose based on stats. Like He hardly thought it unimportant.

Considering all the shit that OLD can throw at you I think adding an inch is neither here nor there.

Most women wouldn't even notice.

To me it would be an indicator that they’re trying to get as many dates as possible and not interested in making a genuine connection.

I do feel sorry for men when it comes to height quite a few women don’t want a short man so it is difficult for them, but 5,10 isn’t short so really he’s just lying to meet more women. Quantity over quality says a lot about his character.

People don't state ALL their stats- like their BMI or weight.

I wonder why?

It's ridiculous that more men are chosen if they are 6' and over.

Maybe if women had to have a BMI of under 21 they would drop it down a bit too?

I did like him, which is why I am asking. If I hadn't then I wouldn't worry about missing out on anything by not dating him again. I think it's more how he handled it. If he'd laughed at himself, that would have been a green flag.

How was it left at the end of the date? Did he know you were pissed off?

It was on Hinge, where you can select height if you choose to, it's not compulsory. He chose to, and then chose to lie about it.

Exactly. He did.

Missing the point.

I think you know the answer.

You had lots of replies and you're still not happy with the posters who say be a bit more easy going on this one.