Lied about his height

[rubberduck68]

I went on a date last night (met online). In his profile he said he was 6ft (I have nothing set for height restrictions) but when he turned up I knew he was not 6ft. My ex-husband, family members and male friends are 6ft. I know what 6ft looks like. I’d put him at 5ft 10” on a good day. I asked him about it and he said, “I’m 5ft 11” seemed silly to worry about an inch.” I don’t care how tall he is, but I am worried that this is an indication that he will lie about other things too? I don't date the men who put in their profile “Not really 55, 65” as though my chosen age filters are not important. Is this the same?

Anyone dated someone who lied about this online, and they turned out to be an honest, okay guy?

I think she's just got an overactive bullsh!t detector 😂which is definitely not a bad thing but an inch is not really here or there I agree with him. Whether he truly believes that or it fits his agenda of seeming taller than he is (as dating apps are EXTREMELY harsh on "short" men) it's not really the end of the world. I would give him another chance as he may have more redeeming qualities.

So you don’t think he is 5 11 either - what height do you think he is ?

is he taller than you ?

woman knock off a few lbs /stone so I can get why a man man add an inch or two

I wouldn't call this lying. I don't know how tall I am, all I know is I'm between 5' 4 and 5' 6.

But you also say you asked him about it and that you know what 6ft looks like, as if you're some sort of human tape measurer. He's admitted he's 5'11 so you're 5'10 was wrong, but you still thought it OK to question him. I'm wondering what else you'd question first dates about. You don't suit, don't arrange another date. Quite simple.

I once went on a date with a guy who lied about his age. Realised when I said something about being born in the last 70s, and he looked blankly at me. Clearly had been born in the early 60s. Date didn’t go well anyway, but a couple of days later he came up on my suggested FB friends. With a completely different name. I was curious as to why. So I messaged and asked him. He said that he knows there was weirdos about so likes to stay anonymous when dating.
Also told me tales of his ex, which in hindsight I think was all bollocks.
It was so weird.

Man claimed to be 72 inches tall, in reality he is 71 or 70 inches tall. This sounds really pedantic.

I’d be put off. It is boundary pushing behaviour, sounds like he was 2 inches shorter which is a fair bit really, especially if you were tall.

It’s a big red flag for me. I had a guy say he was 5’11” and I had to bend down to give him a hello hug. I’m only 5’7”. When I pointed out his lie about his height he said because he’s South African and used to cms he got it an inch out and he’s actually 5’10!

When I was early 30s I met a man who had said he was early 40s. He was clearly 65 at least and his profile pic must have been 25 years old!! He wore farah trousers with a sewn in seam and slip ons!! When I asked about his lie about his age he said “all my friends are your age so it’s the same”.

The lie is the issue isn’t it? Do they think once you meet you’ll say oh never mind, it’s love at first sight even though you’re 30 years older than me or 6 inches shorter than you said!!

I wonder how many times men have underestimated their height - if they are actually 6 foot - on a dating profile. Never?

Except he was one inch shorter not six inches shorter.

Men wouldn't lie about 2 inches on their height if people stopped filtering on 6 foot and taller. It's such an arbitrary filter, I can understand general height, but as the OP has shown this one inch seems to make some sort of massive difference.

A lot of trainers have 2 inch soles on them, I wonder what would happen if he wore those?

I’m not really getting the comments about women knocking a few pounds off their weight. I can honestly say no one I’ve been on a date with has ever in my 59 years on the planet has ever asked me his much I weigh.
I don’t know anyway as I don’t own scales and I’d tell them to fuck off. This man and others who add on a fee inches are willingly putting g that information out there - I’ve never seen anyone put their weight on a dating profile.

And yes when I did OLD I always had a couple of recent full length photos so my body size and shape was no secret.

I disagree that this is a red flag sort of 'lie'.

It is a very unnatural and daunting thing, having to describe/advertise yourself online. I guess he didn't want to be judged/ruled out before he'd had a chance. I wouldn't hold it against him at all, if I liked him otherwise.

Is there really nothing about yourself that you would not want to hold back in a public online dating forum?
If he'd said he's 6 foot and he was 5'2", I'd still only feel sorry for him.
But it really is just an inch.

If you think like this OLD is not for you.

Not only that, but from where came the idea that we owe perfect strangers our vital statistics??

Height, weight, age, marital status, reproductive status, occupation, etc. - divulge all of this and more to some random unknown. And it damn well better be accurate!

I mean, it’s a quick drink or a cup of coffee. Why the urgent need to dominate and to demand all of this personal information from a stranger? Why is any of it relevant at first acquaintance?

(yes, i realize marital status is eventually relevant, but the point is that all they are on Day One is a potential friend or acquaintance; surely getting to know the demeanor and temperament is more important than the history record)

Yeah I get you. It's not the height. It's the fact he lied about the height. Is this the tip of the ice burg, if he casually lies about his height what else could he be hiding. I think that would be a massive turn off for me also. I would just chalk it up to experience. No point flogging a dead horse. He's clearly given you the ick. And it's ok to admit that and move on to better (but not necessarily taller) fish. 👌🏻👉🏻

So he’s rounded his height up a tiny bit for me your obsessive nit picking is the red flag here.

The OP has stated she DID NOT stipulate any height in her criteria.
There's a big difference between lying about something so obvious as height, that you can do nothing about and weight, less obvious, and can be changed.

Agree. So many missing the point to have a dig at ‘picky’ women.
The fact someone has freely volunteered giving this false information is the issue.

If lies don’t bother some people fair enough but those of us who do see lies as red flags are perfectly entitled to do so.

I went on a date with a man who said he was 5’11 and 54 but he was actually about 5’8 and 59. He was attractive articulate and I really liked him but the initial lies put me off. Silly thing is I’d have dated him if he’d been honest from the start as neither his height or age bothered me, but his lying about them did.

Rubberduck68 "I did feel at that point that this and him using the word "silly" was treating me like an idiot!"

He was being patronising and projecting his insecurities onto you. No wonder he's single. In my 20s I did the newspaper column thing and it was no better then. I was 25 and the guys were 35 - 40+! THEY had decided they were close enough to 25 - 30.
I did not agree 😂

I'm separated and looking at getting back out there, so was reading this with interest until the unhelpful nasty retorts. Why can't people read the OP properly and just keep shtum if they have nothing useful or nice to add?

Perfect strangers are free to lie - equally, we’re free to not entertain it nor owe them our time if lying during sit right with us.

In my experience men who lie about small things tend to lie about bigger things, too.

Thank you all for your feedback. I think to round up, I won't be dating him again, but it's not because I am over picky, not ready for dating, or that one inch matters. It's because he selected a height that he admitted was not accurate, and then diminished any conversation about it to shut me up. Was it a bit rude of me to raise it? Maybe, but I don't regret it. I'd rather find out now that he struggles with accountability than two months in.

I can see why my husband always says he's 5ft 11. He's actually 5ft 11 and 3/4 if we are being precise. So closer to 6ft than 5ft 11. He says if he says he's 6ft he gets people saying 'no you're not', so easier to say the lower height. I find it all a bit weird, but then I'm 5ft 1 so either way it's tall to me.

I wouldn't write him off based on this Op. He could have been truthful in that he didn't think an inch or 2 was that big of a deal. It doesn't necessarily mean he is generally a liar.

What an odd thing to lie about. I reckon he’s insecure.

When dating everyone is suppose to be on their best behaviour. He lied then tried to call you a silly little woman for pointing it out. I would not entertain him again.

Has he asked for a second date?