Lied about his height

[rubberduck68]

I went on a date last night (met online). In his profile he said he was 6ft (I have nothing set for height restrictions) but when he turned up I knew he was not 6ft. My ex-husband, family members and male friends are 6ft. I know what 6ft looks like. I’d put him at 5ft 10” on a good day. I asked him about it and he said, “I’m 5ft 11” seemed silly to worry about an inch.” I don’t care how tall he is, but I am worried that this is an indication that he will lie about other things too? I don't date the men who put in their profile “Not really 55, 65” as though my chosen age filters are not important. Is this the same?

Anyone dated someone who lied about this online, and they turned out to be an honest, okay guy?

The point is there are just so many unknown variables on dating apps, and it is overall more dangerous for women than men to use them, women have to be more vigilant than men on dating apps because the worst thing that can happen to us isn’t a bad date with a liar!

No i wouldn't like that. It's an indicator that he will lie if he is worried or feeling insecure about something. And if he feels this way about his height, there might be other things he'll lie about too.

It's just not a good look. Honesty all the way. It's how you build a strong foundation with someone.

I don't think someone exaggerating their height is a safety concern or requires vigilance. I think if you do then OLD is perhaps not for you.

FWIW when it comes to safety I don't think much can beat your instinct.

The lying would be an absolute no for me. Like you, I’m not arsed about height but it’s the same manipulation of boundaries as people who lie about their age to get around your set parameters (or as I’ve come across a lot recently, men who put themselves as some sort of female gender identity to persuade those of us who’ve filtered out men that they’re such a catch we should make an exception for them!). Is lying about one inch in height the end of the world? Nope. Does it make me wonder about their general approach to the truth and to boundaries? Absolutely.

I've dated a man who lied on the dating app. We have been married for 13 years.
I very clearly said I didn't want to date anyone who was still married, even if they were separated. He was still married. They were still living in the same house. She did move out and they were divorced within a few months BUT he initially lied.

They do whaaaat?? OMFG!

Yes, I expect you are right.

I shit you not @Frugalgal. Bona fide dudes who choose all manner of random gender identities - I’ve seen “two-spirit”, “bi-gender”, “gender fluid” and various other things used. On reading profiles, browsing photos, looking at names and pronouns, it seems they’re generally just trying to get round the settings.

😮

I want to say, he’s lied when he didn’t need to & that it’s a massive red flag. Yet my OH knocked a few years off his age when we met and I found out a few weeks in - and we’re still together 30 years later. So I guess, it’s whether you picked up a negative vibe and how you’re feeling about it. If you’re uncertain, then trust your instincts and it’s a no.

If you fancied the pants off him would it be an issue? I’ve only scrutinised the inches if I wasn’t that into them or very short in comparison to my height, if 6ft turns up shorter than me at 5’7, it’s a no. Lying about age would be a deal breaker.

When I met my husband he shaved 2 years off his age! He’s turned out to be one of the most trustworthy and honest men ever! But he was afraid I’d be put off if I knew how much older he was than me! Sometimes it’s not as black and white as @ Red flags!

That extra inch means more to a man then you'll ever know

But his profile isn't personalised to you. He's just put 6 foot because he knows there's a huge trend for 6 foot + men and other women won't even give him a chance otherwise.

Are you wearing makeup, false eyelashes, hair extensions, fake tan etc in your profile pic?.it's kinda the same.

Wouldn't be a deal breaker to me.

This is because so many women stipulate 6ft or over.

I lie about my age cause of the same reason. To be in the “catchment” of younger men.

Or even a padded bra! 😅

Sorry you feel lied to, if you can’t look past that then don’t.
i think the bigger issue here however is that men feel they have to lie. The jokes about men’s height has got ridiculous! Even a lot of the women on MAFS just keep talking about/complaining about height. One is even sleeping with one of the grooms, but openly saying they don’t find him attractive due to his height! Imagine if that was a man & it was a woman’s weight!
if you see a white lie about height as a red flag, then don’t take it further. Personally, I think there are worse things he could lie about, especially when it comes to the current society pressure!

If height is such a silly thing to lie about why did he do it?
Because he assumed you would think him such a catch you'd be grateful he turned up.
He chose to lie. Before even meeting you.
Kick him to the gutter.

I mean no? People have eyes.

Could he have left his height off his profile on the app?

I don’t really think it’s a lie when it’s a literal inch, he’s probably not thought anything of it and says he’s about 6ft to people because well he is about that, I’m surprised you noticed the difference in 1 inch of height. If I entered my height I’d put 5ft 6 but I might be 5ft 5 I’m not absolutely certain and if someone said you don’t look 5ft 6 I’d say I might be a bit shorter but it wouldn’t have been a malicious lie just a nothing thing. The fact you don’t care at all about height but clocked his height on his profile and then commented on it in person and noticed the difference of an inch tells me height does bother you

It's a lie when he typed 6 foot intentionally
. He knew it wasn't true.

I'm a bit under 5' but if it comes up I just say "I'm five feet tall" - for example, I was explaining to a tradesman the other day that I wanted my new fence gate to provide privacy. "I'm five feet tall so it has to be at least 6" more than that."

No one but my doctor really needs to know the exact number of inches. Personally in six decades on the planet, I've never had a burning need to know anyone else's exact height, either. A rough approximation, if that, is fine.

If you ask most men their height, the majority will probably add at least an inch or more onto the reality. Some men can be quite insecure over height, and if they are on the shorter side, they know a lot of women prefer tall men. It's a bit like a woman saying she's a size 10, when in reality she's more of a 12/14. She's lied because she's insecure and thinks most men want a slim woman. I wouldn't immediately dismiss a man because he stretched the truth over his height but I would make sure I kept a look out for any further issues.

Meh, it wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me. Too early to tell, I'd have to go on a 2nd date.