27 and still a virgin, is it too late for me to start a family?

[GingerLad39]

As a man I know im probaly not meant to be posting on this website but I dont know where im going wrong when it comes to finding someone. I have always been introverted and I dont really have any friends so I just spend all the weekends by myself, I use to have friends but they all have families or have moved abroad somewhere or are doing drugs.

Now on paper I probaly do have some traits which are desired by women. I dont smoke or drink, im paying a mortgage, im 6ft, athletic build, Independant, I can provide for a family and afford kids but it seems very hard to find someone these days. I also really want kids and I would like them before 30 but then it seems like most women my age are already in relationships and have kids of thier own. I also dont want to go on casual dates and waste time because everyday im getting older.

Im also still a virgin which puts me at a disadvantage because most women probaly want a man who is experienced, some people might say "Well find a girl who is also still a virgin" but then its unlikely to find a single woman my age who is a virgin.

Also im not trying to say that im better than other men but then when I see men who are drug addicts and on the dole with 3-4 kids I just find it strange how they actually managed to find themselfs a woman who gave them kids lol.

I also would like 3-4 kids and I do have preferences in women but I wouldnt say im picky

I wouldn't think the majority of women care if a man is a virgin. There are plenty of men who have been having sex for decades and are shit at it so experience obviously isn't all it's cracked up to be.

What are you doing to meet women?

Be honest, are you influenced at all by incel or sexist ideology? (sadly, a lot of the men who post on here saying they can’t find a women end up being incels)

3-4 kids is a lot, how did you envisage being a present and active father?

what do you think it is that you’re finding hard in particular with meeting women/having a relationship?

Well, stating the bleedin' obvious, you're not going to meet a woman staying in by yourself all weekend. You need to put yourself in a position where you meet people. That may mean overcoming your aversion to 'casual dating'.

And I say meet people because you need friends of both genders. Both will have female relatives and friends that they can introduce you to.

😲

This guy’s had the courage to sit on here and you’re asking him if he’s an Incel?

Havent you heard of people just being plain shy?

Just go on a dating site and be honest that your goal is marriage and children.
Any women who want the same thing will be the ones to respond.

Courage to post on mumsnet? 😂

You're only 27, you have loads of time. Try online dating and try to be a bit flexible. Not every match or date is going to result in marriage so try and have fun as you go.

Good luck.

That’s the post of experience I’m afraid. We do tend to get a bit over-run by incel-types posting exactly what OP has posted…

Most women like going on casual dates to get to know a person. It might also help you to see that women are all different just like men are. Focus on connecting with personalities and values not random on paper things

By age 30 it’s really normal to discuss if you want kids one day.

Agreed. And it's ticking a lot of the usual boxes.

First of all, please lose the idea of being 27 and 'too late' - I know plenty of first time father's in their forties. You really need to be out and about meeting new people though, and I appreciate it's hard. What do you do for work or hobbies?

If you meet the right woman, then, no of course, you’re not too old. 🤷‍♀️

But, few women just want to be a brood mare - most want children borne of a loving relationship.

But, first of all, you need to meet women without a list of what you think you require - sometimes the most unlikely pairings just work.

@GingerLad39 what are these preferences in women that you have?

Unless you meet women as friends first, through an activity etc, then you’re going to have to engage in ‘casual dating’. That doesn’t necessarily mean sleeping around, just meeting people for dates.

I’m sorry, but if you won’t start with casual dating, how on earth do you expect to meet women? That’s how relationships work. You meet people, date them, and things either do or don’t progress to a serious relationship. You can’t expect to meet someone and instantly be in a serious, lifelong relationship with them there and then. And you won’t meet anyone if you don’t go anywhere.

Why are you fixating over wanting to have children before you’re 30? You’d be moving very bloody fast to have children by 30, even if you met someone tomorrow. It takes time to get to a point at which a commitment as colossal as children is on the cards, and you haven’t even considered that it can take ages for a pregnancy to happen. You know nothing about your own fertility, even without factoring in another person.

I honestly don’t think being a virgin will be an issue provided you’re honest about it and you’re prepared for the woman to take the lead in bed.

However, I think your incredibly rigid and inflexible approach to finding a partner will be a problem. You need to relax. A lot.

You are a mere youth. There’s plenty of time but I think you need to make yourself visible.

@DisplayPurposesOnly I have tried going out to clubs on my own but a bouncer told me to "leave" the last time, then online dating apps dont work for me either. I go to the gym often and I compete in marathons, I do make small talk to people but it never leads to anywhere

You need to start with the casual dates. That’s how relationships happen. You have a date or two with someone and from that you can decide whether you like them enough to continue dating. You can’t just jump from nothing to serious relationship. I’d stop worrying about your age, that just adds added pressure.

@GingerLad39 why did a bouncer tell you leave?
They don't just do that if you weren't doing something you shouldn't have been.
Have you tried meet-up groups (from the website meetup.com)?

Why did the bouncer ask you to leave?

Why don’t dating apps work? Have you tried different ones?

if you want to date you need to be actively trying- getting out there.

I also really want kids and I would like them before 30

Why before you’re 30? What’s better about being 29 vs 32 for example? You’re giving yourself an arbitrary target that’s doing nothing but making you feel bad about yourself.

In my experience women don’t generally care about “6ft” or even especially about “athletic build”. They don’t care about “experience”.

They care about someone considerate, someone kind, someone fun.

Dating isn’t wasting time, sitting at home every weekend is wasting time. You have to give yourself the opportunity to meet people.

Focus on meeting interesting women in a friendly way and take the pressure off yourself.

Specifics like “children before 30” and 3-4 children are putting unnecessary and unreasonable barriers up.

Tell everyone you know who is your mum's age or grandma's age. Explain what you want and what you have to offer. Mature women know younger women and enjoy matchmaking.

@Foundress well around my age, not looking for a supermodel but physical attraction has to be there, not a vegan, doesnt have an onlyfans and wants kids. I also prefer women who dont have kids because I want my own.

Dont care about her career or job as long as she enjoys it and shes working.

"doesn't have an onlyfans"
😂😂😂
Most women don't. If you think they do you possibly have an odd view of women.
That might be one of your problems....