27 and still a virgin, is it too late for me to start a family?

[GingerLad39]

As a man I know im probaly not meant to be posting on this website but I dont know where im going wrong when it comes to finding someone. I have always been introverted and I dont really have any friends so I just spend all the weekends by myself, I use to have friends but they all have families or have moved abroad somewhere or are doing drugs.

Now on paper I probaly do have some traits which are desired by women. I dont smoke or drink, im paying a mortgage, im 6ft, athletic build, Independant, I can provide for a family and afford kids but it seems very hard to find someone these days. I also really want kids and I would like them before 30 but then it seems like most women my age are already in relationships and have kids of thier own. I also dont want to go on casual dates and waste time because everyday im getting older.

Im also still a virgin which puts me at a disadvantage because most women probaly want a man who is experienced, some people might say "Well find a girl who is also still a virgin" but then its unlikely to find a single woman my age who is a virgin.

Also im not trying to say that im better than other men but then when I see men who are drug addicts and on the dole with 3-4 kids I just find it strange how they actually managed to find themselfs a woman who gave them kids lol.

I also would like 3-4 kids and I do have preferences in women but I wouldnt say im picky

Apparently the Park Run is a great place to meet people

tbf opening yourself up to criticism from anonymous strangers does take some level of courage

Yes, because some people respond like dicks.

🙄

OP, kindly are you on the autistic spectrum or could you be? It is incredibly uncommon to reach 27 without any experience and your lack of friendships is telling. You seem to be incredibly rigid and appear to see the world only in black and white (friendships ending due to them becoming parents or them being "on drugs"). You also seem to have incredibly fixed ideals about women and family life; your entire OP could have been written by my cousin who is on the autistic spectrum. He also has heavily ingrained ideals about the ideal woman for him and believes women over 30 are "infertile" but has no idea how to execute this ideal family life he supposedly craves. He spends most weekends alone and is sadly heavily susceptible to being influenced by the Red Pill rhetoric- I know this from the frequent mentions of Andrew Tate.

Do you have a tendency to stare at others? I can envision my cousin doing this in a club, absolutely no harm would be meant by it but this could be interpreted as creepy by people who don't know you, particularly if you are alone with nobody to advocate for you. I can imagine women complaining, resulting in bouncers asking you to leave venues.

Out of interest, how many women in your age group do you believe do ‘have OnlyFans’?

Are you posting from 1847?

Running clubs, park run, salsa, tai chi... all good ways to meet women.

Now you and your family are online, I hope you bought farm machinery before you registered on mumsnet.

Am I the only one who would hate to be asked out at a park run? I’d much prefer a man on a Saturday night ask for my number or buy me a drink at the pub, or does that not happen anymore?

@Bathingforestyou’re on a couple of threads with some quite ummmmmm backwards thoughts about women and their role. Have you dropped in from somewhere other than 2020s UK? Time traveller or MAGA?

I'd say the amount of men who either use Porn, or go on OnlyFans for masturbation is massively higher than women who have porn accounts as income or other reasons. Therefore I don't think you have much to worry about.

However, are you willing to give up porn if you use it now? If not, that a massive problematic double standard.

men who are drug addicts and on the dole with 3-4 kids I just find it strange how they actually managed to find themselfs a woman who gave them kids lol

I think this is a serious question that you're trying to disguise with humour.

You're focusing soley on the man managed to get a woman, rather on the experience of the women herself. Sadly, some women do stay in bad relationships for various reasons, but a lot of those women those men managed to 'find' will one day leave those men because they're so unhappy and realise they they made a mistake.

The reason why a lot of women end up in those relationships is often because they were given bad role models as children. They might have grown up with a father that was law abiding, for example, but maybe who shouted all the time or called his wife and kids disgusting names, or his might have had a drug or alcohol habit himself. That matters.

Another reason is because men lie. There are many, many stories of women getting married or pregnant, who then don't understand why their husband's personality has changed so much. What's happening is he's revealing his true face, and sometimes that doesn't come out until she's vulnerable or has had children. Happened to two women I knew. Their partners never touched those women before pregnancy, but once they were pregnant, that's the first time they were hit. They both left their male partners after that.

OP, are you still around? You have had lots of varied and interesting advice on here, I am a bit surprised you haven't wanted to comment on any of it.

I guess that could even be part of the problem? Do you enjoy interacting with women and sharing ideas with them, and listening to their views? Here is a chance to practice doing so if you haven't had the chance to before, in a safe, anonymous environment. Most women on here post with good intentions, because they are altruistic and genuinely want to help people out. So if you have questions, here is a good safe space to ask them.

One thing I was wondering about, when I came back to this thread after posting earlier to see what others had suggested, is, why the virginity - is it out of choice because you are waiting for Miss Right, or because you haven't had the opportunity? If the former, women with similar views will surely be attracted to that.

And what are your views on sex in general? Do you like the idea of it and look forward to enjoying it once you find the right partner? Or is it something that doesn't interest you, that you would do mainly as a means to getting the family you want?

I ask because you remind me a bit of a guy who married one of my friends - he wasn't a virgin when they met but had had just one not very successful partnership I believe, and even once they married, friend told me sex remained very low on the agenda for him. After they had a child, they stopped having sex (his choice) and when she asked him if he missed it he told her he felt "sex had done it's job" now they had the baby.

If you are like that, it may be worth being open with women you date about your lack of interest in sex, as I have certainly had female friends who aren't keen on sex either, so some women might see it as a real positive to meet a guy who only wants sex for procreative purposes. Others of course strongly won't like that, so better to be up front about it than have it lead to disappointment......

Personally I wouldn't want to date an introverted virgin who goes to clubs alone and doesn't seek to have any social life or friends. I would find it odd that someone of that age had absolutely no experience in relationships and didn't have friends. It's a bit of a red flag.

you may be 'athletic' but it's far beyond that.

Bouncers will be suspicious of lone men in nightclubs (and I am definitely not saying that this is the OP) due to them being a drug dealer or drink spiker, so I would advise not to go to clubs alone (unless it is specifically a singles event).

The OnlyFans comment is strange, but I wonder whether this is because online dating is now full of profiles that exist online to promote their OnlyFans, particularly for his age-group. Tinder has become an advertising platform.

I've spoken to men who bought into the "walking/running club" idea, because you'll hear no end of people talking about that being a place to meet singles. They said it wasn't like that and everyone was in a relationship, so not good for dating.

Oh bless you, don’t try be someone you’re not. If you’re not into clubs or socialising much that’s ok. My husband isn’t, he’s never been to a club, all activities he does are ones you can do alone, golf for example. He still met me, a bloomin extrovert, we met through friends when we were v young. he had lots of school friends but has none now we’ve moved to a different country.

You could join some groups like running groups, books clubs, there’s loads in most neighborhoods I believe, I’m in a large city though. I’d be careful of going there with the hopes of meeting a girl there though, it might come across that’s what you’re there for. Do something you genuinely want to do and be genuine otherwise you’ll come across as awkward. Are you autistic OP? Would you get an assessment? If you find you’re mostly alone, like being alone, struggle with relationships and friendships, then you might be ND. Otherwise you may have just had a tricky upbringing where you were poorly socialised.

consider online dating, be honest but don’t start talking about marriage and babies on the first or even 5th date, chill a bit. Put it on your profile that it’s what you want but then let it happen naturally after that. Also you could try speed dating?

When I was a child me and my friends found a box of British adult magazines, and when people talk about how dangerous po rn is, I think back to how the British Reader's wives section had natural naked women in all kinds of shapes, with lumps and bumps that men found sexy, and thinking back to that made me feel confident of my body, over the later images of orange, airbrushed looking wag types in women's magazines. Also when people talk about the dangers of p orn, I think how those magazine images are nothing like the gross things coming out of the USA online now, of skinny women with massive fake chests, who are shown to look as if women enjoy choking when doing BJs.