Question for the married women

[georgiegold]

If you had to redo your life, would you get married again?
I’m interested in the answers from women who are currently married and living with their spouse.

How old were you when you met and got married?

Married 13 yrs, together 20 years. First marriage. Would definitely do it again!

No, I've learned that I am better off by myself. I love my kids and it's not that bad I just don't like living with him that much. Don't want to write more than that though.

First marriage, in my 20s, lasted a couple of years.
Second marriage, in my 40s, 5 years married, together 15.
I wouldn't miss my first marriage and I'd marry my second husband sooner if I was the all-powerful scripter of my own life, but you take the good with the bad.

Married 15 years, together 18 years. Absolutely I’d do it again with him. But I doubt I’d marry again in general if I couldn’t be with my specific one.

Together 20 and married 17. I’m not sure if I would marry again but I would choose him again.

I don’t really feel the need for the security and validation of marriage and I have issues with some of the traditional values and expectations. If I did marry again I wouldn’t have a big wedding. We’d do it quietly.

Oh goodness yes! There were warning signs flashing everywhere but I was 20 yo, low self esteem, had grown up with domestic abuse and I didn't recognise them. He was young too and we went into marriage both carrying the baggage and values of our childhoods and not knowing any different. The primary red flag was that he just wasn't kind, his world revolved around him and sod everyone else. I really had no comprehension of what a healthy partnership looked like so had no boundaries - it didn't occur to me that any man would ever do housework or get up in the night with their baby for example.

Together 27 years, married for 14. We were students when we got together.

I’d marry him again. He’s got his quirks but he’s a good man and a good father.

I’ve told him I’m not re-marrying if he dies first.

Met at 18. Both in our early 50’s and still together. Sometimes, happily! We have nice things together, but he’s turning in a grumpy old sod and it’s draining. Would love to be living on my own and have my own space, but this could be hormones! Would not be without my children though.

If I had to redo my life and I’d know what I know now, no, I wouldn’t get married.
If I didn’t know what I know now then yes I most probably would.

Been married 9years,
together 12. First marriage,
yes I’d do it again, though I’ll admit things have been hard since our son came along 2 years ago, it wasn’t just him being a bombshell in our lives, a few other things coincided, but it’s been a challenging few years but I’m confident of better times if we keep faith with each other.

i would possibly do a smaller wedding, although we aren’t the type to do parties for birthdays etc so it was nice to have one big blowout with family and friends. But looking back I’d probably spend it all on travelling instead.

I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years, together for 12. I would marry him all over again in a heartbeat. He (along with our two children) is wonderful and the best thing that has ever happened to me. However I believe he is the only one for me. Marriage is hard work and the right person is essential. I look back and see that if I had ended up married to any of my exes things would be very different and it would have been an unhappy experience.

We've had a good time, generally, but DH had an accident a couple of years ago, is now very frail and I am his carer. I won't be remarrying or shacking up with someone when the inevitable happens. We've been married 30 years.

First marriage, been together 22 years, married 18. I would definitely marry him if I had my time again, but I will never remarry.

Together 27 years, married for 21. Pretty different to what I imagined it would be but in a good way. We’ve both grown a lot, thankfully in the same direction. At the risk of sounding like a sap, I’m a better person for having married my husband.

Met at 22 years old at university. Married for 21 years. Would I marry him again? No. Despite him being very kind, supportive and loyal, I find I'm feeling more and more irritated by him.

Yes and I wish I’d met DH earlier. Been together 8 years.

Not to him if I’m honest

Married 45 years in January (my god that’s ridiculous!) and would absolutely marry him again. Would not remarry though - I’ve learned to enjoy my own company in retirement and think I’d be just fine alone, and I won’t find a better man!

We're in our early 40s and have been together 20 years, married for 11. No kids, through choice.

I'd do MY marriage again, because I love my husband and he's a decent man. Although I'd set standards and expectations (around housework, the mental load and earnings) much earlier, as that has been a source of continual stress for me, and continues to be, although he's now the best he's ever been with it all.

For me, as a natural introvert, I like having "my person" to come home to, to hang out with, share news with, and hopefully enjoy his companionship as we get older (health allowing).

Without my husband, I'd be much wealthier, live a simpler lifestyle that would suit me, and have less stress. But I'd be lonelier.

Would I advise a young woman, who had the world at her feet, to get married? Not sure.

Together 25 years. Married 4yrs. 3 kids. I married because I wanted security (financial). So would I get married again? Absolutely. Would I get together with him in the first place? No. He has proved to be selfish and entirely unreliable. I adore my children though and am extremely grateful for them so I probably should’ve left him when the children were very small but I just didn’t have the resources.

If I had my time again, pre children, I would chose someone kind and supportive and with integrity. When I look at women with husbands who genuinely support them, I have a bit of a pang. I was won over by charisma, humour and charm. Ultimately these aren’t the attributes you need in a co parent or partner for life.

Married 14 years together 18 I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I just knew he was my person. Never had any regrets.

Together for 28 years, married for 22, first marriage for both of us. I would definitely marry him again - he's lovely and I like being part of a partnership.

Unlike some of the other posters, if I hadn't met and married him I'm sure I would have married someone else. I don't believe in "soulmates", I think there are lots of people out there who I could have been happy with.

Yes. I married comparatively young (I'm mid 30s now) and I've been married for over 10 years. I would absolutely marry him again.

Yes I feel the same. Although at the time I don't think I would have been brave enough to have had children on my own/through IVF and I would never forego that. They are the best thing I have ever done.
I think some people are happy single. I was before and would be happy single again. I will never marry again if this one ended and would never live with a man I didnt give birth to again. Hes not a bad man or abusive in any way but we've grown into different people.