Dating thread 53 - 2025. Cuffing Season

[ElleintheWoods]

The Rules:

• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
• Develop a thick skin
• Do not invest emotionally too soon
• It's all BS until it actually happens
• Trust your gut instinct
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
• Know your wortH
• If it's not fun, stop
• Loo update is mandatory
• No dating the thread
• Treat others as you'd like to be treated
• Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
• The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
• OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Safety?

Yes, mainly, my daughter and I had this conversation today
when I said I had went on a walk with someone I had met online
it was a no no from, her, and reminded me again about the location thingy on the phone .
but the moor, just reminds me of the murders , sorry .

Please don't be sorry 😀 I appreciate your input. I was thinking the same.

Yer I would suggest a walk but in a more public place x

So had 2nd date with mr psychologist today. It went well and I’m starting to feel attracted to him. We have so much in common including how our marriages ended. We seem very similar too. He didn’t try to kiss me but as we had been for a walk it would have been a bit awkward but we did have a peck. Things feel really good in general with him. The level of contact and level of interesting he is showing feels really good and at the right pace and not over the top. He is consistent so I’m not feeling anxious like I was with Mr Beard but I know it’s still really early. He does seem really upfront and honest. He was taken for a ride by his ex but I was too so I do understand how you end up in that position. We have agreed with will see each other again so hopefully will get something arranged soon x

So nice! Glad to hear that it went well.

@bluedabadeedabadoo I would be watching that "taken for a ride by his ex" thing quite closely x

Yes I am but I do genuinely believe him in how he spoke about it and how he came across as absolutely besotted by her (at the time). He also told me things related to it that without context don’t show him in the best light that he could have omitted if he wanted to but he’s of course, I am being cautious. I would like to have a conversation about what our exes would say the reason for our marriages breaking up was to see what he says when thinking of it from a different perspective.

@bluedabadeedabadoo sounds like you're being very wise.

I have a date lined up with Mr Mod next Sunday. Pub instead of moor 😁

Yep probably safer. Mr psychologist did suggest a moor near him but then said it was probably not wise for a second date

I’m probably a lot older than most of you but when did going for a walk become a date?

A walk and talk was what hectic in 2020 just to get out the house - but a date?? Sorry I don’t get it

I like a walk, I hate formality and sitting opposite someone and having to force down a meal makes me dead self conscious. Appreciate there are safety aspects, plus the last two walking dates I’ve been on. it’s peed down with rain and I’ve looked like a drowned rat which isn’t a very appealing look x

I actually love a walking date. It’s my preferred option as there’s less pressure. I like to pair it with a coffee shop/ cafe too x

It's pub now and I hear you. I'm 54 x

Im 60 next week so it might be a generational thing but no a walk is not my idea of a date

A pub, a coffee, nice bar yes (I hate dinner dates early on as I can’t think of anything worse than being stuck over 3 courses sitting opposite a msn who is boring the tits off me)

I had a bloke who suggested waking his dogs as a first date - abso bloody lutely not! Walk your dogs yourself mate and make a little bit of effort.

Tbh I’ve never really heard of walking dates other than on here. Though remember chatting to an older lady on holiday who said she’d reluctantly agreed to a walking dates on the proviso they had food at the end. When they got to the end of the walk, she suggested a local pub for food. He looked at her confused and said ‘oh I thought you meant get a pasty or something and we can eat it on the bench! There was no second date

I don’t think that’s fair really
3rd date was Ms Food ( both in our 50’s) was a walking date , hand in hand along the river was really nice,
it’s a different vibe - side to side talking is so different from face to face

I also love walking dates, I met my ex 14 years ago & we had our first date in a pub, second & third was a walk. He had a dog & I loved walking along the river with the dog, found it very romantic actually.

Generally my walking dates from OLD have all been in this huge local park that's near me, it has a cafe & we get a hot chocolate mid date. Sit on a bench to drink that then carry on our walk. Or along the waterfront. Again stop to get a takeaway drink then carry on the walk.

Similar to above, I'm a nervous kind of person & do better side by side, with little glances at each other, in the beginning, rather than the pressure of being sat directly opposite somebody just looking at them (& them looking at me!)

I know that it's not everybody's 'thing' though. My mum always says that a walk is 'Inviting a man to shove you into a bush & murder you'.

They’re really nice. As long as weather is nice, it’s lovely to grab a hot drink and walk somewhere picturesque. Think Hyde Park, a beautiful National Trust place, a local beauty spot that lots of people frequent. It’s a nice way to converse, more active than just sitting around with food/drinks, and also if the people involved are nature lovers, proves credentials 😉

It’s also lower cost, lower pressure, and can end anytime, or can also lead to more drinks/ food after.

Also a bit more private than being at a pub/bar, so you can relax instead of worrying about etiquette, orders, dress, who pays etc. It’s a date that removes many social barriers.

Ok each to their own - seems walking dates are a thing but not they’ll never be for me. I just don’t get it

And sitting on a bench with a coffee or walking a virtual strangers dog. - no thank you

As I said it’s probably a generational thing because it’s not something I’ve really heard of outside of MN

I think it’s down to perceptions really - love a walking date - have done a few in the past, all good

I’ve been watching this thread with interest as this year I stepped into OLD for the first time but not brave enough to post!
However on the walk thing, I went on a first date walking my dog and for various reasons ended up wearing my oldest dog walking fleece (which he now ribs me about 🤣)
I prefer the no pressure, side by side approach and can be as long or short as suits.
We ended up having a drink at the golf club and some cheesy chips and have now been seeing each other for 6 months!
Re generation - I’m 52 and love walking so I agree it’s nice to meet someone who likes it too 😊

SummerSazz Lovely to hear a success story!

@SummerSazz so lovely to hear that story.
I've seen it all now, a profile pic of white socks (joke socks) with a penis printed on the top part of the sock so it looks like it's poking down from the trouser hem. OMFG. I would understand a 20 something may find this funny.

Haha @Nosdacariad that’s hilarious, who would swipe right for that!

Another court jester is MrElusive who wants to have a festive meet up after not seeing each other for three months. I even said I wouldn’t be suggesting anything for him to knock me back again and he made a joke about it 😂

@PinkNeonSign it's time to say NEXT!