Page 30 | Dating thread 53 - 2025. Cuffing Season

ElleintheWoods · 2025-10-21T19:20:32+00:00

The Rules: - The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating - Develop a thick skin - Do not invest emotionally too soon - It's all BS until it actually happens - Trust your gut instinct - People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault - Know your wortH - If it's not fun, stop - Loo update is mandatory - No dating the thread - Treat others as you'd like to be treated - Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with - The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future - OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

TwistedWonder · 13/12/2025 15:33

Honestly they’re as grim as fuck.

Im in my 50’s and the men I’m talking to are old enough to be grandfathers yet they still act like fuckboys

I’ve had one who started wanking during a phone call - absolutely no sexual chat leading up it, he just thought him knocking one out while we chatted was appropriate,

I could write a book on the inappropriate messages I’ve had from men - tbh most of us could. No wonder so many older women are staying single by choice. What’s on offer just isn’t appealing

CleanShirt · 13/12/2025 16:03

The fingering guy seemed so normal. A genuinely nice bloke. How wrong I was!

Nosdacariad · 13/12/2025 19:33

Kaltenzahn · 13/12/2025 10:40

I had a 3rd date with Mr Engineer last night and it was bloody rubbish so I shan't be seeing him again!

Firstly he was 15 minutes late because he'd been watching the football in another pub (after going out of his way to tell me he wasn't a football fan).

When he arrived I had just gone up to the bar to get the first round of drinks. Rather than say thanks (or even hello) the first thing he did was ask the bartender if it's too late to scan his loyalty card. After a bit of grumbling (from MrE) the lovely bartender offered to refund the drinks then run the purchase again with the loyalty card. MrE said yes! I said no thanks, I'm the one who paid and I'm not wasting everyone's time.

Had a nice enough chat for a while but it went downhill again. He made some comments about the age gap, saying he'd been boasting to his mates and had to show them all our Hinge chat so they would believe him. He then used an offensive term which I called him out for.

I was feeling very awkward by this point and clock watching until my next bus home. Bus got cancelled so I called a cab. He asked me back to his and I said no thanks, he then stood behind me for 10 minutes while I waited for the cab. He tried to kiss me as I got into the cab which led to an awkward bumping of foreheads and I scrambled into the cab without another word.

He texted me while I was on the way home saying he wasn't feeling a spark, which is fair as there was definitely no spark! Didn't stop him inviting me back to his though!

It's funny because our first date was actually very nice! I was out of town for a few weeks and I reckon he found someone else while I was away so the effort level plummeted as he had other options, but that's just a guess.

Need to summon up the energy to get back out there and find some more dates but my motivation is low right now!

Sounds hideous! Loyalty card!!

Nosdacariad · 13/12/2025 19:35

CleanShirt · 13/12/2025 11:10

@Kaltenzahn also weird shifts here! And definitely absolutely will not get with someone at work (made that mistake before and been very burnt).

I'm annoyed about fingering guy tho. He wasn't my physical type at all but seemed really cool and funny so thought I'd give him a chance. Shan't be doing that again.

I'm just wondering what thought process made him weave that into the chat but I guess the answer is no thoughts in his head at all.

Nosdacariad · 13/12/2025 19:37

bluedabadeedabadoo · 13/12/2025 15:17

It’s grim. I was chatting to someone last week, 3rd message was: are you taking any contraception?!!!!

The answer to that is

I wish your Mum had.

Nosdacariad · 13/12/2025 19:39

Mr Abacus gone quiet. @BeAppleNow I think I frightened him 😁

bluedabadeedabadoo · 13/12/2025 20:17

Nosdacariad · 13/12/2025 19:37

The answer to that is

I wish your Mum had.

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I said ‘well it’s irrelevant, you are getting blocked’ 🤣

BeAppleNow · 13/12/2025 23:20

TwistedWonder · 13/12/2025 11:22

Honestly I can’t fathom why so many men think coming out with sexual stuff completely out of the blue is the way to impress women.

The amount of men in OLD who think ‘you’ve got fantastic tits’ is the way to start a conversation with wine looking for a LTR astounds me. Do they never think ‘maybe I should tone it down?’

I mean would any of these men walk up to a woman in RL and use these lines? Online has definitely blurred the boundaries of what’s acceptable imo

With women its work and money, several asked about what I earn ( would you ask a random man his salary)

had a couple of comments about “don’t date manual / factory workers “ - why - I would never say that to a woman

I don’t think some women do themselves too many favours either sometimes 🤷🏻

BeAppleNow · 13/12/2025 23:24

Nosdacariad · 13/12/2025 19:39

Mr Abacus gone quiet. @BeAppleNow I think I frightened him 😁

why ? Have you made a negative comment about is bedroom abilities?

BeAppleNow · 13/12/2025 23:25

How do we feel about very non PC comments from dates ?

Nosdacariad · 13/12/2025 23:37

BeAppleNow · 13/12/2025 23:24

why ? Have you made a negative comment about is bedroom abilities?

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I suggested we meet 😱

Nosdacariad · 13/12/2025 23:38

BeAppleNow · 13/12/2025 23:25

How do we feel about very non PC comments from dates ?

Depends on context but if nothing else shows their judgement.

BeAppleNow · 13/12/2025 23:49

Nosdacariad · 13/12/2025 23:37

I suggested we meet 😱

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In that case - he doesn’t have the balls to meet ( so that could well be a negative comment on his bedroom abilities 😆)

if a woman asked me to meet - I would be over the moon

BeAppleNow · 14/12/2025 00:01

Oh - I’ve also had some completely inappropriate comments on chats from women about penis , penis size - if everything “works “ , how important is sex to me from women - I’m not surprised some are single to be honest

Nosdacariad · 14/12/2025 08:01

BeAppleNow · 14/12/2025 00:01

Oh - I’ve also had some completely inappropriate comments on chats from women about penis , penis size - if everything “works “ , how important is sex to me from women - I’m not surprised some are single to be honest

It's a hard one that (😁) I did think that it was a given that sex would be a potential outcome of online dating in time, however now I realise that men may approach it assuming women will accept easily fixed issues that the man has not got sorted (and which would be just basic care for their own health).

It might be less being venal and more avoiding taking on a project🙂

BeAppleNow · 14/12/2025 08:18

Nosdacariad · 14/12/2025 08:01

It's a hard one that (😁) I did think that it was a given that sex would be a potential outcome of online dating in time, however now I realise that men may approach it assuming women will accept easily fixed issues that the man has not got sorted (and which would be just basic care for their own health).

It might be less being venal and more avoiding taking on a project🙂

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If you were just chatting to man in a bar who you had never met before, - would you ask him how big his penis was ?

BeAppleNow · 14/12/2025 08:29

And would you feel offended if the same man asked what size your breasts are ?

bluedabadeedabadoo · 14/12/2025 08:51

I would never via messaging ask about about penis size or very personal or specific questions about sex before meeting and I would absolutely block if someone asked me my bra size as it looks like they are just thinking about one thing.
Having a general discussion about the importance of sex in a relationship I would say it’s ok as long as it’s shut down and doesn’t continue into the specifics.

Nosdacariad · 14/12/2025 08:52

BeAppleNow · 14/12/2025 08:18

If you were just chatting to man in a bar who you had never met before, - would you ask him how big his penis was ?

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Gosh no.

Nosdacariad · 14/12/2025 08:54

BeAppleNow · 14/12/2025 08:29

And would you feel offended if the same man asked what size your breasts are ?

It's sort of an acceptable in the 90s question. I wouldn't be offended but it would tell me something offputting about their judgement.

Nosdacariad · 14/12/2025 08:55

bluedabadeedabadoo · 14/12/2025 08:51

I would never via messaging ask about about penis size or very personal or specific questions about sex before meeting and I would absolutely block if someone asked me my bra size as it looks like they are just thinking about one thing.
Having a general discussion about the importance of sex in a relationship I would say it’s ok as long as it’s shut down and doesn’t continue into the specifics.

I agree with this really.

I would suggest women doing this are either there mostly for sex or (sadly) they think that that's how they best get attention.

TwistedWonder · 14/12/2025 09:39

bluedabadeedabadoo · 14/12/2025 08:51

I would never via messaging ask about about penis size or very personal or specific questions about sex before meeting and I would absolutely block if someone asked me my bra size as it looks like they are just thinking about one thing.
Having a general discussion about the importance of sex in a relationship I would say it’s ok as long as it’s shut down and doesn’t continue into the specifics.

I agree to an extent however I wouldn’t be having any sort of conversation about sex either someone I’ve never met. I probably wouldn’t even after the first couple of dates, only when it started looking g like it might be on the cards.

Anyone I’ve not met turning the chat to sex or making comments about my body gets shut down.

TwistedWonder · 14/12/2025 09:41

BeAppleNow · 14/12/2025 08:29

And would you feel offended if the same man asked what size your breasts are ?

I’d tell him to fuck off and delete him tbh. And unfortunately over the years I’ve dipped in and out of OLD I’ve lost count of the men who have made comments about my body within the first few messages

BeAppleNow · 14/12/2025 14:14

TwistedWonder · 14/12/2025 09:41

I’d tell him to fuck off and delete him tbh. And unfortunately over the years I’ve dipped in and out of OLD I’ve lost count of the men who have made comments about my body within the first few messages

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I’ve never really gotten messages about my body per se , women do ask about bed room activities ( does my penis work) money ( quite often) & employment .

one woman judged me on my job, said she wouldn’t go on a date with a factory worker- when I explained my job she said that it was okay- so l blocked her.

women are inappropriate about different things

bluedabadeedabadoo · 14/12/2025 15:39

TwistedWonder · 14/12/2025 09:39

I agree to an extent however I wouldn’t be having any sort of conversation about sex either someone I’ve never met. I probably wouldn’t even after the first couple of dates, only when it started looking g like it might be on the cards.

Anyone I’ve not met turning the chat to sex or making comments about my body gets shut down.

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For me it’s very dependant on the situation and I suppose I’m drawing from my current situation where this did come up but in a very respectful way but just random questions about it out of the blue from nowhere would be a no.