Dating thread 53 - 2025. Cuffing Season

[ElleintheWoods]

The Rules:

• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
• Develop a thick skin
• Do not invest emotionally too soon
• It's all BS until it actually happens
• Trust your gut instinct
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
• Know your wortH
• If it's not fun, stop
• Loo update is mandatory
• No dating the thread
• Treat others as you'd like to be treated
• Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
• The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
• OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Um yes. It said Nosdacariad a lot - unless it's recyclable.

@ElleintheWoods how are you since? I hope you enjoyed you're trip away

How bizarre! Was it good? He's obviously into you but he has some very strange ways of showing it. Did you reply?

Well reform boy found me on SM.

So at about 10 last night I got a hey baby followed by a 👋 which I ignored. Then I got up this morning to see 5 deleted messages through the early hours
Finally today I got ‘you ignoring me sexy girl’ - this man is 58 ffs!

I’ve just deleted the messages. I won’t block but if there’s anymore I will

@TwistedWonder god he just gets worse and worse!

I was meant to have a 3rd date this weekend but I've just seen he's updated his hinge profile again. We're not exclusive so he's well within his rights to do so but it's taken the shine off a bit and I don't know if I can be bothered anymore. On date 2 he made a point of telling me he wasn't talking to anyone else so it just feels a bit dishonest.

I have an annoying habit of putting all my eggs in one basket as I hate the faff of talking to several guys at once, but this has prompted me to reach out to someone I was speaking to a few weeks back (Mr Casual). I might ask him out for drinks on Friday night then see how I feel about my date on Sunday!

All good thank you, trip was great!

Feeling like the ‘irons’ are all getting needier as Christmas approach. Currently working on excuses about being busy and dreading unwanted gifts… Anyone else in an awkward Christmas situation?

Mr RedFlagParade ⛳️ still keeping me engaged, also still finishing his chores prematurely, but we have a nice time together so I don’t mind too much.

Still not actively looking to meet someone new, but open if they run me off my feet!

No it was boundary testing. I told him no after he was derogatory about another woman. Trying to play games. A bit pathetic at 55.

@ElleintheWoods Mr RFP are these horizontal chores he's finishing prematurely?!

Yet another one in the awkward Xmas situation. Mr Charismatic has popped up once again, this time messaging me that he had a sexy dream about me 😆

Technically Mr Nomad and I have not agreed to be exclusive, but I’m visiting him in January, he still calls and messages me every day so somehow it just feels wrong to be dating anyone else. I’ve replied politely to Mr C but basically ignored the dream part 😆

Had date 5 with Ms food , she came over we cooked and got busy… , lovely

I have the opposite problem…

@BoxOfCats I think you handled that perfectly.

@BeAppleNow sounds like it's going well.

Update on Mr Van
It seems, as of last night, I now have a boyfriend (which is a ridiculous word when I’m 53 and he’s 55) but I don’t know if a better one?!

@MrsM2025 congrats!

I'm going to have to tell MrX I won't see him this side of Christmas.

Anyone got any idea how to get Mr Abacus off chat and into RL?

How long have you been chatting to Abacus @Nosdacariad

Just ask for a date- or perhaps make it clear you would be interested in a date - but leave it him to suggest it -

@PinkNeonSign a week 🙂

@BeAppleNow I have dropped the broadest of hints 😁

There seem to be a lot just happy to chat

Yeah @Nosdacariad could you drop a ‘so what does a girl have to do to get a date’ type message and see if he takes the bait?

Can I join? I've had a couple of..... interesting dates recently after being in a relationship for 20+ years.

Yeah - I kinda understand that- from a male POV women were happy to chat ( sometimes 😆) but never actually suggested meeting?
bit sad really 🤔

Welcome @Jokethecoalwoman

Sounds great! Glad all is going well.

So went for first date tonight with Mr Psychologist. He was actually different to what i expected. He is perfect on paper and very lovely and interesting. We have some things in common and we got on well. I didn’t feel there was a spark and he isn’t quite as
good looking as in his pics but still very pleasant and I would like to get to know him more. He did give me a hug both at the start and end of the date. I do however feel a little bit intimidated by him and due to this I had this constant feeling coming home that I wasn’t good enough for him, what would he see in me etc. I get these feelings anyway but I think with him as he has a very powerful job, this makes me feel it even more (even though my job is probably equal to his in terms of power and pay). He text as soon as he got home and it was all good stuff. I realised I wasn’t really mirroring him so I did this and he then suggested we arrange to see each other again.
I am really worried about the extremely anxious thoughts setting in again though like they did with Mr Beard. Mr Psychologist is a lot warmer in communication which I think helps and he knows a bit about the things that make me anxious (on a very low level at this stage as I felt it important to communicate my needs) and is keen to work with that which is nice but makes me feel a little bit vulnerable.

I have actually started therapy already as I remembered I could access it at work so have my 2nd session this week which I suppose is a good time as I can work through some of this. There however will be a break over Christmas which in suspect is when things will spike.
It seems like there’s been quite a bit of positivity today in here 🥰

So this might seem like a daft question, but rather than dropping hints- why don’t you simply ask to meet ?
when I was on the apps, chats never turned into dates unless I asked - which seemed so odd to me as the D in OLD is obviously Dating - but women ( in my experience) never seem to actually ask for a date 🤷🏻

I think I’d say something along the lines of ‘I prefer to meet up early into chatting as I don’t want to run the risk of developing something online that doesn’t translate in person. Are you up to arranging something soon?’

or if you want to be more low key just say, ‘fancy a drink on friday night?’
I as the female don’t tend to ask men but if it went on for over a week with a lot of messaging but no sign of a date i would.