Dating thread 53 - 2025. Cuffing Season

[ElleintheWoods]

The Rules:

• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
• Develop a thick skin
• Do not invest emotionally too soon
• It's all BS until it actually happens
• Trust your gut instinct
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
• Know your wortH
• If it's not fun, stop
• Loo update is mandatory
• No dating the thread
• Treat others as you'd like to be treated
• Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
• The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
• OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

@Eesha totally feel your pain though it is years ago for me now.

My daughter's father insisted on contact once a month but couldn't be arsed with the whole three hours, too busy reliving singledom. She doesn't speak to him now as an adult.

Thanks all, sorry for derailing thread. Im only on Bumble at present but am torn between my heart not being into dating versus age creeping up! I met my ex on a chat site when I had sworn off dating apps, so it does feel like they haven't got any better. That said, my friend is having much more luck on Hinge and going on a different date each week. She's gorgeous though, plus quite happy to look for the very hot types whereas im already thinking they aren't for me.

Where's Guardian Soul mates when you need it!

Good evening all! I hope you have some fun dates lined up this miserable wet weekend! I’ve been chatting to Mr F1 all week to distract me from Mr Beard and the chats are going well with a date provisionally arranged for Sunday. Tonight I’ve matched with someone on Hinge, Mr Go-getter let’s call him. First message was asking me my plans. I asked they are cancelled and he asked if I want to meet. What would you do? I did want to get out dating this week, but after 3 days chatting with Mr F1 I then feel bad (I know I shouldn’t) and also never been on a date with someone after 1 or 2 messages. What would you do? He lives very local to me and seems to tick all the boxes from what I can see however maybe slightly older than I’d usually go for.

@bluedabadeedabadoogo for it! It only has to be a short coffee date. Best to see early on if it’s worth pursuing rather than spending days messaging back and forth and it potentially not being worth the time.

@bluedabadeedabadoo I'm with @justsurvivingnotthriving why not?

I have been OLD since August and have had a variety of …. experiences!
But have been seeing Mr Van for 3 weeks now - all going well - we’re older (50s) and we have decided to come off the apps to see how this goes !
We’re different on paper but it’s all good!
The last guy I was seeing ghosted me, which dented my confidence a wee bit but if he hadn’t then I wouldn’t have met Mr Van!

Thanks I’ve told him I’m up for a coffee date. Mr F1 has gone quite and that’s even with me speaking about my communication needs early on so that doesn’t bode well. Apps have been really quiet this week but had a few matches last night and this morning so we will see how they go. Mr Psychologist is the one I’m most interested in right now.
I did join Fab Swingers last night for a nosy and deleted the app within 12 hours ha ha.

That’s good that you are both on the same page about coming off the apps. I think it’s hard to know when the right time to have that discussion is

Does anyone have any luck with breeze or bumble? Breeze I’ve exhausted all profiles available to me every day since Monday and not one match and bumble I’ve basically done the same. I’ve had 3 matches. 2 disappeared and just waiting for the 3rd to reply. I remember not having any luck on bumble when I was on it years ago too.

@bluedabadeedabadoo
i have not heard of Breeze
but have used bumble, I found it quite sedate , never met up with any matches
but if you change your preferences, slightly, ie age up or down, and distance, it will bring up new faces, think this works on most of the apps.

MrSA who sent me a screenshot of his messaging with another woman and disparaged her to me and I consequently cut loose, has sent me a song he wrote.

I was out for a friends birthday in London lady night and ended up having a drunken kiss with a friend of a friend.

Hes messaged her to ask for my number however I’ve done a bit of digging and his SM is full of shared Reform posts so it’s a big no from me.

Oh no! Well at least you found out now. In my youth and the days before social media, one would have had to find that out the hard way!

Awww that’s lovely, I really hope it continues to go well!

And yes that’s a great way to look at it. When it doesn’t work out, it’s the universe’s way of making space for someone better to come along 🙂

How did the coffee date go? I am definitely up for meeting people early after matching rather than messaging for weeks, but I also like to do at least a basic level of screening first. Meeting someone after only a handful of messages is brave in my view, although everyone is different in this respect I’m sure! Hope it went well in any case.

Yer I feel that meeting someone after a couple of messages you don’t get a sense at all as to whether you are in the same radar. He however didn’t reply to my response so probably tells me he’s a bit of a chancer and not really interested in investing which is my worry with meeting straight away.
Mr F1 never materialised again. No idea what happened there and why he did a vanishing act when he seemed really keen with regular lengthy engaging messages 🤷‍♀️
chatting to Mr Psychologist who seems nice and we are in similar lines of work although I’m sure it won’t take him long to pick up on my anxious attachment style 😬

Hope you all had lovely weekends.

Just when I thought I’d seen the last of Mr Nomad until mid January (now that he’s moved cities), we ended up spending a lovely weekend away together. He messaged me Friday asking if I was keen to meet up, then organised an Airbnb for the weekend in a holiday spot 3 hours from me. Woke up Sat morning to a message from him that he was really looking forward to seeing me. Drove down, went for a lovely walk, out for dinner, he also introduced me to some close friends of his. I drove back Sunday night, and he called me twice on the way back just to chat 😁

There’s been no further discussion on our relationship status since a few weeks ago when he told me he wasn’t up for a long distance and/or serious relationship. I basically now just consider myself the girlfriend that he refuses to admit he has 😂

Yep if he didn’t reply, he’s probably used the same approach on a tonne of other women and gone with whoever said yes first!

Hope you don’t take Mr F1 disappearing too personally. It’s disappointing when that happens and it felt like there was a bit of a connection, but there could be a million reasons why so I guess best to just forget and move on.

And great that you’ve found someone more interesting to chat to!

No I’m fine. I was more annoyed with the rudeness to not even say look sorry I don’t think we are a match or had a change or heart. I think of you move on to WhatsApp, are having quite a lot of communication and have a date planned that even if you haven’t met up it’s courteous to just be honest rather than to just disappear.

That sounds like an amazing weekend! He is definitely treating you as a ‘girlfriend’!

Oh gosh, yes absolutely! I’d be annoyed too.

Oh hell no!

This is adorable!

@TwistedWonder
reminds me of a guy I went on a few dates with a few months ago. Really nice guy (albeit a bit too intense for me!) however he was a staunch Reform supporter. I’m firm left, and I knew that this wouldn’t ever work for us.

@Nosdacariad oh god not a song! Did he write it specially for you?