33+3 weeks pregnant, high risk and my husband has just left me

[SugarPlumBiscuits]

I am 33+3 weeks pregnant. I'm currently in hospital as my waters went at 32+1 weeks. I stood up to make some tea and I was suddenly soaked, and I convinced my husband to take me into triage as something felt off. I was admitted and I am being monitored daily. Currently baby boy is showing no signs of distress, and there aren't any signs of infection so they're hopeful we can make it to 35 weeks.

My husband has been working still, and coming to visit me in the mornings and evenings. He hasn't been overly happy about it, but he's been coming. In terms of day time my mum, sisters and friends have been taking it in turns to come and see me, and last weekend my mum brought a nice lunch for us to have together.

Last night my husband came and was pretty angry, he was saying he didn't have time for this anymore and he was saying he couldn't keep doing this.

Then out of nowhere he said he'd be packing his things and leaving the house. He told me he wouldn't be there any didn't want to hear when the baby came, because he didn't care. I feel completely blindsided, things were great before I went into hospital and we were really looking forward to our baby boy's arrival.

I have no idea what to do now. I can't face getting a lawyer, and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone because I will just break down and disturb the other women on the ward.

Just posting to vent really, as I feel so alone and broken

Not medically unwell maybe but you had major surgery early this morning so you won't even be spending the night of the op in hospital!

It's a disgrace.

Edited for spelling.

It’s a disgrace @SugarPlumBiscuits but tbh, your update makes me think that you’d be better off at your parent’s house if they’re so over-stretched. At least there you’ll have people to take care of you properly.

Oh I’m sorry OP. I don’t think they have treated you well here at all. If you have the strength after this has calmed down, I would consider complaining via PALS because you really did need them to be more understanding of your situation in the wider sense. Make sure you really rest up at your parents house, it’s so important not to push yourself too soon after a c-section and lean on all of your support network. Sending you lots of love x

Congratulations 💕 It sounds like you’ll be so much better cared for and supported -physically and mentally - at your parents, so try to focus on that. You can get a really good nights sleep and recuperate ready to get the most out of your visits to nicu to see little man and then bring him home . Honestly, any annoyance at the situation I’d bottle up and unleash on that waste of space husband!

I’m really, really surprised that they’d do this. I know they’re overstretched but I didn’t think it would be to the point of discharging me 16 hours after major surgery. I’m looking forward to being at home but also not looking forward to leaving him here at all 💔

It’s a disgrace but tbh, your update makes me think that you’d be better off at your parent’s house if they’re so over-stretched. At least there you’ll have people to take care of you properly.

It's not just about that though it's the impact of having to leave your baby.

It goes against nature!

@diddl It’s all types of wrong but it sounds as if the hospital is at that critical stage where they’ve got ambulances lined up outside with patients who need to be admitted, but can’t be as there’s no available beds. I know there’s a term for this, can’t remember what it is. Code red or something similar.

Is it opel?

@Louisetopaz21 Just Googled and that’s it.

I obviously completely understand the pressures they’re under but I’ve just had to leave my baby in NICU while I go home the same day I’ve had emergency surgery and the day after my relationship fell apart 💔 I’ve been given very little guidance aside from what to look for in case of infections. I’m going to get a lift to the NICU in the morning but I’m only allowed to be there by myself

I had a CS 2002 and 2008, and was kept in for 5 days each time. Both were planned with no complications . I’m so so sorry at the way you are being treated OP. It must be torture for you to leave your baby behind.

Congratulations on your baby, this nightmare period will soon be over and you will be looked after better at home ❤️

That’s awful, I’m so sorry. I’d consider complaining to your NHS Trust (once you’re better, of course).

I'm so sorry your going through this when you are better put in a complaint glad you have got the support of your family ❤️.

Would you like to tell us about your baby boy OP? Has he a name yet and how much does he weigh? xx

I’m certainly not implying that it’s OK @SugarPlumBiscuits, it’s terrible that you’re being discharged today. 💐

He’s four pounds one ounce, a tiny little dot but he’s improved a lot today and they’re hoping to get him off cpap within a day or two if everything goes well. He’s started having some tiny little feeds through his tube and it makes me so proud of him to see 🥺 I was still pretty shell shocked this morning and one of the nurses went through every single machine, medication and number I could see to reassure me which helped a lot. They actually have a phone for the unit so they send over little updates every so often which is lovely, but also makes me wish I was there 😢

we had a name picked out which was a family name of my husband’s. I don’t want him to have that name anymore so I’m taking some time to think

Aw, he sounds gorgeous!

You poor darling, you've been treated so bad by the hospital and your husband.
Concentrate on your healing and your little boy. Go home, rest and try and get some sleep.

You'll be sore tomorrow so keep up with your meds. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring better news with your baby.
As for your husband, how could you ever forgive this? He has took something that was meant to be the happiest time of your life and turned it into a nightmare.
You and your boy deserve so much better, he is a weak, weak man.

He’s four pounds one ounce

Aww!

It's scary how tiny they are.

Aww bless him so precious.

That’s a good weight considering he is early. And you choose a name that you love! Enjoy your beautiful little boy and don’t give your ex a second thought. His loss.

Oh sweetheart, I've read all your updates and just had to reply. So much has happened to you in such a short space of time. Go easy on yourself, lean on your family, and rest now while you can. Your little boy is safe and is being really well looked after right now, and very soon you'll have him all to yourself.

Everything else will work itself out in time, and you'll show everyone just how amazing and strong you are!

Hi op you are in one of the worst situations you can be in but please don’t keep trying your horrible stbxh he’s not worth it he’s a coward he ran when you needed him the most there is no forgiveness for that. If you concentrate n your own health and baby’s it will all get better honestly.

OP my heart breaks for you but you and your miracle little baby will be just fine, the whole of mums netters are rooting for you both. A baby boy is so precious and loving 🥰. Im so glad to hear you have a supportive family. Enjoy your new bundle of joy he will be a blessing in the years to come

You are doing very well OP. We're all thinking of you.

It's bad that they have no rooms for mums with babies in NICU.

My sister was accommodated in one for several nights when her youngest was in NICU. I remember food was a problem though. The ward sisters were sneaking her food off the ward!