To not date and not be in a relationship - possibly ever again

[MargoLivebetter]

I finished a longish term relationship a couple of months ago. I'm mid 50s and for the first time ever in my life, I am thinking that I will not date again or be in a relationship. I feel strangely peaceful and content about it all, and slightly surprised that I've arrived here.

Are there others out there who have reached this decision too? If yes, how is it going?

I became single at 50 and felt like that for a while...then I met a man.

What I will say is that knowing for sure you're absolutely fine without one means you don't stand for any nonsense. I'd recommend all women spend at least some time properly independent, emotionally, practically, financially.

I am mid fifties and married for 25 years. If anything happened to the current Mr Sherbert, God Himself would have to appear before me and tell me in an audible voice that He had the perfect man for me before I'd consider it.

I'm 53 have been single for 10 years after 23 years of marriage met him when I was 16. I love being single, just need to pluck up the courage to holiday alone. My ex never wanted to travel or go on holiday so I wasn't allowed to. Im not looking for a relationship or dating but if it happens then I will have very firm boundaries.

I get you OP. I'm 60 and was widowed last year. I don't fancy ever being in a romantic/sexual relationship ever again and certainly would want to live with someone. My two young adult DC are still at home, but even when they leave I'll be ok. I'm quite happy with my own company and tbh, the older I get the less tolerant I am, so I don't want to be putting up with anyone's unsociable habits. Happy to socialise as friends with other people, including men, but no way I want to be dating or sharing my space again.

@Icecreamhelps
I love going on holiday alone! No one to please but myself. I can mooch around sight seeing at my own pace. Stop for a drink or something to eat when I want and just people watch. It's the best thing. If you're nervous about it, start small with a European city break or something like that. But definitely do it, you won't regret it.

I am 47 and have been single since my marriage ended four years ago. I have no desire to be in another relationship and cannot see that changing any time soon, if ever.

There is always the possibility that I might meet someone who blows my socks off, of course, but I think it’s unlikely. I genuinely can’t think of a single way my life would be improved by a relationship.

I have never felt happier or more at peace.

I'm 50 and if anything happened to DH I can't ever see me bothering with OLD ever or making an effort to find a partner. If it happened organically then fine.

I never made an effort when I was younger, I was always happy single. When I met DH I was annoyed that I met such a nice man and we had fallen in love only six months after moving to London aged 23. I had hoped for a few years of Mr Wrongs 😆

I'm divorced and in a new relationship but we don't live together and while he talks about us doing that in the future, I'm not keen at all. I have 50 50 custody of my kids and they and DP don't get on so I would never make them live together.

I'm thinking fun and travel with DP, but nothing more

I'm married but if husband ever popped his clogs or swanned off with a Russian supermodel I'd never date again. I've seen what the dating pool is like for women my age and heard the tales of horror from my single 30's and 40's friends. I somehow managed to bag a man whose only cons are that he leaves socks in the most bizarre places and never gets my toast quite right, i don't think I could cope with some of the absolute buffoonery some of my lovely friends have to go through in the modern dating world.

I'd just get a few more dogs and be happily and contentedly single.

I left my ex when our children were very young and I’ve never had another relationship since (by choice). (He’s been married and divorced since). I’m pretty sure I’ll never have another relationship. I literally don’t have anything emotional to give a relationship and I don’t want anyone ever making demands on me, no matter how slight. I’m in my early 60s now and don’t find men my age the slightest bit attractive (probably different if I had grown older with them though). Reading a lot of relationship woes on MN adds to my feeling I made the right choice.

In a perfect world I would have got together with the right person in my early 20s and we would have grown old together, but that didn’t happen.

I came to the same decision at a similar age - during lockdown I obviously couldn't date, and I found I couldn't be bothered to restart once lockdown lifted.

I actually love dating - but I don't want a relationship or sex, so it's not fair for me to do it really.

It feels like I spent my whole life meeting the needs of others, and now I can do what the hell I like, when I want to. I don't have to make any compromises, and I love it. I'm 60 now, and my resolve to never be in a relationship again is only getting stronger as the years pass.

I will be honest I do miss sex but I’ve never been someone who can have sex without an emotional connection so hook ups or ONS wouldn’t work for me

Other than that I don’t miss a single thing and I find dating an absolute chore

I've always known that if DH dies before me (highly likely), I never want another relationship. I've had a long, happy marriage but ... no, thank you. I'd rather be my own.

This is interesting. Did your exes remarry?

Mine did but got divorced by her instigation. I felt vindicated that the man is impossible to live with.

Ironic that it’s men who want another relationship when they were most likely the reason the relationship didn’t work in the first place!

No my ex DH has had a 2 year relationship- we split in 2016. I’ve had 1 relationship since as well which Aldi lasted about 2 years

I'm in exactly this position. Mid-50's. Separated many years ago. Have done dating to death and have now come to the conclusion that relationships are just not for me. Whilst I'm a bit sad that I was never able to meet someone who just loved me for me, and visa versa, I would much rather be on my own than in some crap relationship for the sake of it!

Single by choice here. Never again.

This is how I feel. I imagined a long and happy marriage and growing old together. I’m sad that wasn’t to be for me. However, I’d rather be single than risk another abusive, cheating, gaslighting dickhead. I would really struggle to trust anybody again and I also don’t trust my own (clearly very poor) judgement. I’m a fixer by nature and I seem
to attract the wrong uns’! That will never be allowed to happen again.

I feel the same way op. If anything were to happen to DH or our marriage, I wouldn’t want the hassle of another relationship. I feel confident enough in myself that I could love a good and productive life without the need for a partner.

Separated in 2017 after 25 years of abusive marriage. Finally divorced 2022 thanks to Covid and awful ex. Life is so much better despite the fact I am elderly parent's live in carer, which is challenging.

I am happy as a singleton and have no desire to ever be in a relationship. I would like another dog when my circumstances change though.

I am the same.. if I had to have another relationship I’d need to go straight in at like 4 years down the line…😂. Where you’re just comfortable existing along side each other. I have nothing to give anyone right now.. I could stretch to making them a cup of tea if I was making one anyway but that’s it tbh.. 🤣

Late 50s. Split up with exDP a few years ago. All my relationships have been abusive and I'm pretty happy living the single life.

I’m 45, no children and been single a while. I’d like to meet someone but the reality of the ones I am meeting, well, it seems to be more hassle and heartbreak than it’s worth. I don’t think I’m very good at relationships.

That’s how I feel too.