Boyfriend has split up with me because

[Thatisthatthen]

I am going on an all girls family holiday this weekend for a long weekend abroad. It’s been planned for months and we have been together for a year.

he has always had trust issues and he has always been insecure. He said this weekend is going to be the end of him and he has been very physically unwell this week in what he thinks is anxiety and stress induced.

He called me this afternoon and said, I’d rather be single with my head held high and walk away letting you carry on with what you are inevitably going to be doing this weekend, or I could stay with you never knowing the truth knowing you have lied to me.

i have never been unfaithful to him. He has made mountains out of molehills before over nothing and seems to use these as reasons not to trust but I just need a hand hold. Have been totally blind sided - I even booked us a weekend trip away in the coming weeks last night.

What a fucking loser he is. You're well rid. Enjoy your girls break! 🥳🥂

As the Americans say, the trash just took itself out.

What a melodramatic wally.

You need to very seriously work on yourself Op because you’re benchmark for a relationship is in the gutter

Wow, cannonball dodged!

But PLEASE OP, block the twat's number now. There's nothing more to say and nothing you need to hear.

He'll spoil your holiday if you don't.

He's probably cheated on you. He's judging you by his own low standards.

"i love you too much" sounds like step 4 on the 8 step on the domestic abuse/femicide timeline.

Please be extra vigilant about your security for a while. No doubt he'll keep trying to contact you until he finds a new victim.

https://www.dvact.org/post/do-you-know-the-8-step-timeline-in-domestic-abuse-homicides

Block and delete. Don't give him anymore head space. Do not let him message you.

Have a great weekend.

Every trip to visit my family ruined by this behaviour, going awol whilst I was away so I would rush back thinking he may have fallen or whatever. Please please accept this ending and find better…he should be so happy you are going to have a good time and if so devoted could plan a super surprise on your return but he didn’t he chose to crush your happiness…this isn’t love. Sorry OP lean on your friends and choose happiness…he will only waste your life

So glad you've realised you're worth so much more than this. As others have said be very careful over the next while as now he's realised he can't control you his behaviour may escalate.

This is absolutely a control tactic and expect it to get worse as the week goes on.

The cheating allegations.. they usually come from people who are doing the cheating.

You have dodged a huge bullet, because this behaviour only escalates.

Have a fantastic holiday

I never reply on these LTB threads but honestly get rid. I’m guessing I’m a long way down the line from you as I have teenage children but prior to getting married in my mid thirties I had a string of fairly long term boyfriends & one of them was a little like this. I’m promising you IT ONLY GETS WORSE. Your life should be full of love, fun, support, good vibes. It’s hard to cut free when you quite like being in a relationship & it’s scary to think about starting again from scratch or being single for a while but if you move on now you’ll be doing , future you a massive favour. Be strong 💪

How dramatic
defo block as he will be racking his brains how he can insert himself into your weekend

@Thatisthatthen I've only read your posts OP, so forgive me if I'm just repeating what PPs have written (although I think there's a fair chance of that because I reckon the MN collective will be pretty united on this one!).
Of course you're upset OP - because he's accusing you of something you haven't done (and have never intended to) and because it's come out of the blue. He's hoping, at best, that you will cancel your plans and beg for his 'forgiveness' - for what, fuck knows! At the very least, he's hoping that you will be upset the entire weekend, that you will spend the whole time thinking about him, and that it will totally ruin your long-awaited lovely break with the girls. Don't let him.
He's a pathetic, desperately insecure, coercive and controlling man-child. Walk away and don't look back - you'll be making good a lucky escape.
Oh, and if he's so sure he wants to end your relationship, why does he keep on texting you ...? 😉
Have a good cry this evening if you need to OP - then forget about him and have a FABULOUS weekend!

Im wondering if youmy friends ex - he had similar script, imagining her flirting with every man she was in vicinity of. Complete nutcase. Run and don't look back! They don't improve!

Just block him. He sounds emotionally unstable

You have had a very lucky escape. He has done you a massive favour. He really loves playing the mind games as set out in your update about being disrespectful and lying. Run away as fast as you can!

good riddance to bad rubbish

Definitely block him on all ways he can access you. Perhaps send one last “I don’t want to hear anything else from you. Leave me alone.” Lick your wounds tonight, but keep strong and resolute. Discuss it with your therapist. Tell everyone on your weekend. Surround yourself with positive, supportive friends. And be ready for him to try to crawl back full of remorse- so he can start all this crap again in the future. Remind yourself regularly that you deserve so much better.

I had 20 years of this. Please walk away.

He did you a favour. What an awful way to live for him and for any future partners! Sounds like you had a lucky escape.

Very important advice from Normandy144.

You don't have to go into it over the weekend. You could just say you sent him packing cos he's a dick and you'll fill them in at a later date. I know for certain everyone will say the same as we've all said here.

I used to wonder how MN could speak with such authority about relationships based on a paragraph by a stranger. Well, it's because there are lots of people who follow a core set of behaviours. This man will follow the same playbook that our versions of him did.

He could try to 'hoover' you back in. You didn't behave as expected. You made a fool of him by calling his bluff. He won't like that kick to his ego. Rekindling the relationship will most likely be to punish you rather than any genuine desire to reconnect.

Good riddance. Block his number and enjoy your weekend away.

Coercive control. You are potentially in danger of him stalking you if you just take him at his word, don’t pander to him and wish him well. Just be careful.

It feels like he is insecure or projecting what he would do on a boys weekend onto you.

Either way, he sounds like he has work to do and is not in a sane place, or a place that you should be dating him and being subjected to his thoughts.

Invite a friend on the weekend you had planned to take him on.

Have a lovely girls weekend and try to block him out moving forwards.

You got this, you are fabulous and he has a screw loose, wave him good bye

🚩 - this is just the beginning…… tell him he’s right and that you should split. Don’t let him persuade you to stay together. He sounds a nightmare!