Boyfriend has split up with me because

[Thatisthatthen]

I am going on an all girls family holiday this weekend for a long weekend abroad. It’s been planned for months and we have been together for a year.

he has always had trust issues and he has always been insecure. He said this weekend is going to be the end of him and he has been very physically unwell this week in what he thinks is anxiety and stress induced.

He called me this afternoon and said, I’d rather be single with my head held high and walk away letting you carry on with what you are inevitably going to be doing this weekend, or I could stay with you never knowing the truth knowing you have lied to me.

i have never been unfaithful to him. He has made mountains out of molehills before over nothing and seems to use these as reasons not to trust but I just need a hand hold. Have been totally blind sided - I even booked us a weekend trip away in the coming weeks last night.

Let him go, your life with him would be miserable.

He sounds deranged.

Hurrah he dumped you.
Because you would not yield & bend to him.
Stay dumped by him, 'tis an honour to receive.
Block him.
Go on your trip & have a great time.
Enjoy the rest of your life.
Hurrah!
Rinse & repeat.

What an insecure, gaslighting dickhead.

Thank goodness you are no longer a couple with this controlling bastard.

Please stay strong @Thatisthatthen , I suspect this is part of his play and a dose of love bombing &/or a shed load of texts might land on you.

He 'loves you too much' - what a load of shit. Real men are not intimidated by friendships and mini-breaks with gal pals. What a twat.

Omg what a controlling twat. You are well rid

He's hoping you'll change your mind and cancel.

Cut him loose, he won't change.

He’s done you a favour. It’ll get even worse as the years go by. He’s too unstable and immature emotionally to be in a relationship.

He needs psychiatric help.

Run, don't walk. He's controlling, gaslighting and manipulative.
All the red flags waving like mad here.

I go on lots of trips separately to DH (friends, family and solo), from a couple of days up to 6 weeks. Never once been this type of shyte in 30 years.

Head high, OP.
Block him, have a big cry then try to enjoy your time away. Don't let his shitshow be yours for 1 day longer.
Good luck 💐

I love mumsnet sometimes.

You have an army here who are 100% behind you.

You know the phrase “it’s not you it’s me” yeah, in this instance it’s all him. Huge red flags over trust and control. This is emotional abuse OP.

let him go… it won’t improve with time.

He did you a favour. Now that he's realised that he isn't able to manipulate an control you, he's trying to worm his way back with you. His whiny texts are his way of doing that. It might hurt initially but remind yourself that you have dodged a bullet. He is controlling, insecure and manipulating and it was never going to get any better. You have children, don't allow such a messed up toxic manchild to be in their lives or yours. Block him, don't respond to his messages, don't explain or justify yourself. He thinks you cheated etc. Let him. Have a fantastic holiday.

There are women on here 20-30 years down the line of marrying one of these arseholes. They post tales of having lost all their friends and family because they weren’t allowed to contact them, throwing massive strops if she is back 5 minutes late from going to the shop, ruining birthdays and Christmas if she dared pay attention to someone that wasn’t him, leaving jobs because he hates her working, was jealous of his own children - sometimes it even descends into physical and verbal abuse. You are on the taster course at the moment. He has shown you who he is, and you have made a choice that’s in future you’s best interests. You should be proud of yourself.

just watch out for what he does next if he can't reel you back in before the holiday. When you get back, there may be crocodile tears and faux remorse, designed to make you take pity on him and go back to him. If you do, he will ramp it up a notch or 10 on the control front. Or flowers delivered to you, because obviously that's all it takes to get a woman to back down and unblock etc. Point being, don't expect him to give up easily, be on your guard.

I think his reaction to a weekend away is really
concerning. He’s controlling and manipulating you. He’s shown you who he is and is waving a massive red flag. Run and don’t look back.

Block him now and have a fab weekend.

tell him the airline has a suitcase allowance, so you can't take his baggage with you.

My first thought was EUPD.

You are likely going to feel a little upset about this OP, that’s understandable, and for that I’m sorry! But what I will say is he sounds like a controlling, immature, and frankly, pathetic man. And he is absolutely gas lighting you. You will look back at this in a year and be thankful you are no longer together. Walk away with your head held high knowing you have done nothing wrong and will end up better off. Have a fabulous weekend away! X

Have a fantastic holiday OP and a fantastic life without this manipulator in it.

People who say they have trust issues have no business pursuing a relationship until they have dealt with these issues. It’s their problem, not something to bring into a relationship and try to turn into the other persons problem.

We need to change the narrative on this It’s generally just an excuse to behave like a wanker.

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

OP, this is what a controlling, abusive man looks like innthe early days.
My teen daughters are warned in special social school classes about boyfriends like this, that try and control what they do and who they see.

You have children?
Even more terrifying.
Has he been around your children?
In effect he has tried calling you some slut who is cheating and sleeping around.

Indeed find your anger, especially if he has been around your children.

When he realises that his insults and threats haven't worked, he will likely plead, make self harm threats.

He is an unhinged, dangerous man.
Call the police and report any suicide threats, aggression.
Tell all your family the truth.

NEVER allow him in your home and near your children again.

You desperately need to look at your boundaries that you tolerated him this long.

He could well try and contact you during your holiday to try and spoil it with his drama.
Block him and enjoy the holiday.

Dont believe any faux upset, remorse or attempts to draw you back in with tears.

He's dangerous and batshit.

You've done well there @Thatisthatthen . You've managed to dump a twat without actually having to do any of the painful emotional work of actually dumping him.

Well done.

DP is away for the weekend this weekend. I cannot fucking wait. I've planned my takeaways, I've planned out the housework I'm going to smash out on Friday evening so that I don't look like I've done fuck all all weekend, and then I've planned out exactly how I'm going to spend all weekend doing absolutely fuck all. I've lined up who I'm going to the pub with on Saturday night.

And what's best, I don't give the slightest shit about who she might talk to and what she might do while she's away. Because I trust her. And because I know when she comes back, she'll have been away long enough to miss me, and that can only be beneficial to me.

Your ex is a twat. You've had a lucky escape. Enjoy your weekend, and then the rest of your life without him.

He's extremely controlling and uses emotional blackmail to get what he wants. I'd find him suffocating and hugely unattractive. I'd be asking him whose standards he is erroneously judging you by because they're not yours. Frankly, I think he's done you a favour. Wave him goodbye and enjoy your weekend. And when he comes back all contrite (which he will) tell him to do one!

He said this weekend is going to be the end of him and he has been very physically unwell this week in what he thinks is anxiety and stress induced.

What a p*ssy, excuse my French. Leave this pathetic man

Run for the hills, run free and have a wonderful holiday and twat free future life

Delete and block and have a wonderful weekend with your friends. You don’t need him.