Women who are divorced… what was your final straw?

[ToughTimes88]

As the title says really?

Previous poster but name change for obvious reasons

He kept getting flirty and handsy with my friends when he was drunk. We were together 20 years, and this started about 15 years in. Tried to forgive, and probably could have if he stopped it, but he carried on regardless.

I told him I was leaving, and before I had even left, he was shagging my very best friend. Lost 2 people at once. In fact, as my friend was the link between me and a much wider circle of women, I actually lost a load of people, and my social life as well.

I'm happy to say, that I met DH very shortly afterwards and we are not that far off 20 years now ourselves. And he's such a better man.

And Ex has cheated on every partner he's had since me, including the woman he is now shacked up with

I'm now with an amazing man
10 years together (well in a fortnight!)
I forgot to add that once id given birth ti his child and my milk kicked in,he would slap my tit's for fun/make me behave myself
He also left me in 8k of debt to loan sharks and never paid a penny for his kids/the debt
I still see the toothless wonder about and cannot understand how he gets women to date him

Yuck you are well rid and I’m so glad you found happiness

This is the reason dp left his wife
She ran up debts,he paid them off,she ran up debts again and he paid them off (nothing they needed-as long as it was shiny and new,she had to have it)
He told her that if she did it again,he'd leave her and she laughed (and then stabbed him)
He tried to leave but felt trapped and nowhere to go (and no money)
She 'borrowed' 10k from his mum and ran up debts of about 20k
He left-walked out on her and never looked back
A year later,I met him and we've been together 10 years but she will tell anyone who will listen that she was the best wife in the world and that he had an affair with me
The trouble that woman has caused is unreal but we battle through

The final straw was him telling me he didn't like how I looked after a double mastectomy and reconstruction with implants. Me having no nipples was a big issue for him, told him to play with his own. Limped on for another yr after that but it was over for me from that moment on 🤷‍♀️

When he was working in another city I opened his post and there was an anniversary card from a mistress. After the initial shock subsided, the secondary feeling was relief that I had a reason to rid of the boring, fun-sponge. Turned out he had a second mistress on the go at the same time, it was all very Jeremy Kyle 😆.

@Theundead wow how awful. I’m so glad you got rid. I hope you’re happy and healthy now! X

I knew my exh had no respect for me emotionally due to cheating and sexually coercion constantly but my final straw moment came one evening when I was running myself a bath. I’d started the bath running and went to fetch clean towels. I didn’t realise he’d walked into the bathroom to use the toilet and walked in on him urinating into my bath water. That dirty rotten prat really hated me.

I read a post on here once from a woman whose husband came into the bathroom for a dump while she was in the bath, there were other bathrooms he could have used, he even brought magazines, but this takes not just the biscuit but the whole packet.

He was an abusive prick but the last straw was when he threw the laundry basket at me but almost hit the cat instead. He showed absolutely no remorse.

I had refused to let him get a 2nd mortgage on our house so he could buy a new car, he was crap with money (couldn't get a loan) and had trashed his car, and wanted to put our home at risk. He then accused me of having an affair because I wouldn't bow to his demands. So he tried to intimidate me by throwing the laundry basket at me.

He's never shown any remorse for the abuse, he still believes he only did it because I didn't know when to leave it.

So many things but x2 things were final straw.
1ruined the holiday it was a make or break one

1. Sent my whole fsmily a very very very nasty message

Number 2 was final straw. He wouldnt accept was over. So i had an affair so he would accept it.

Yes I have, be careful to follow the law of the country you're in. I went to a lawyer in America and asked if I could just disappear while he was at work. The lawyer advised me to get it all sorted before leaving and he was right.

The other advice the lawyer gave me was that the dh would move on in a couple of years and just to agree to anything in order to get out of the country with my child.

The lawyer was partially wrong on that, he didn't move on but I was able to put a lot of protection in place once I was back in the UK.

It depends what country you're in but seek secret legal advice.

I believe that Australia is very tricky surprisingly!

Oh and use money as an incentive, be prepared to let them have everything except the kids.

Oh yuk, how revolting. What a nasty piece of work he was. Glad he's your ex.

Every time we had words or I disagreed with him he’d blow up and say he wanted a divorce. He would follow up his tantrums with a few days of ignoring me. Even during periods of us being ok with each other he used to correct everything I said and told me I was phrasing things in the wrong way.

So I saved up some money and part purchased a shared ownership house. I furnished it and made it look like my home. And the next time he told me to get out of his house I did exactly that. And I took my beautiful cats with me.

A few weeks later he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I felt I should be supportive as he doesn’t really have any close friends or family. However he took the opportunity to take how he was feeling out on me. I’ve now blocked him on my phone and email. I had no intention of ever going back anyway but I wanted to help and support him in any way I could. But I’m not his punching bag so he’s on his own now. I feel guilty but he’s incapable of behaving like a normal human being and I’m not playing his game any longer.

Boredom after 28 years. It had reached its use by date. Kids were grown so I left. 👍

Didn't you jointly own the marital home?

When I found out the OW was pregnant

Came home from the pub and beat me up , breaking my jaw for an alleged affair (I wasn’t having one).

When I realised he’d been living a double life overseas whilst I raised our two autistic children single handed - also being financially controlled within an inch of my life.. meanwhile he lived in a penthouse with his current girlfriend pretending that he was getting a divorce.. no going back from that sh*t! Absolute madness and a compulsive liar through and through. I can’t even look at him now- awful man. Karma is a beautiful thing, he’s fat, bald and living alone 150 miles away, drinks like a fish and is a walking heart attack.

No. He owns the house. My name is not on the deeds. I know he can’t legally kick me out but it is his house. I feel better if I’m in my house, away from his manipulation. We can sort out the finances later.

My XH was just an unhappy miserable grumpy man. One day I had an epiphany that I was wasting my life trying to make him happy, when miserable was his comfort zone.

I found his secret email account with all the details of his many dating site profiles and messages and explicit photos he’d exchanged with multiple women spanning our entire 13 and a half year marriage.
I hadn’t suspected a thing.

A text message at 4:00am (after a night out when he never came home) saying that he was sorry but he was in a hotel room having slept with someone else. He had an affair with someone he worked with. The relationship was done way before that but that gave me the motivation I needed to end it. The same day he did try to gaslight me that it was all my fault because we didnt have sex (because of the emotional abuse) and threatened suicide if I wouldn’t take him back! I never backed down and I’m so happy that I didn’t. 9 years later and he is still with her. She is welcome to him but the way they betrayed me still breaks my heart.

Some people are simply like that and they're better left to their own misery, it's infectious.