Women who are divorced… what was your final straw?

[ToughTimes88]

As the title says really?

Previous poster but name change for obvious reasons

Oh gawd - yeah. Or in my case, whenever he smiled it increasingly seemed more like a grimace.

Oh no - that sausage complaint wouldn’t be out of place in a Victoria Wood (RIP) sketch 😂

My ex took up running, and quickly became obsessive over it. It got to the point where he didn't give a shit what I was doing, he was travelling the country (and occasionally going overseas) because he wanted to tick every park run off his bucket list. He was using his holidays at work to do this, and would never make a longer break out of it other than one night before if it was a distance away, so I couldn't even make a bit of a holiday out of it.

Eventually I realised my life would actually be easier without him. So off he went.

He's gone from travelling the country and having a lovely home to come back to, to living in a house share with a really shit car.

We were building such a lovely life together. It was a shame.

Has anyone with young kids been on verge of wanting to spilt but living abroad (hubby’s home) & wanting to return to your home country? But splitting would mean either leaving your kids behind (!!! As if!) or staying put in current place & possibly being more unhappy as you’d then be alone. … am possibly facing this!

Mine was when my exH decided to take out his upset at his son heading off to university on me and I realised I was always going to be treading on eggshells to keep the peace. It had built up over time with me always molding to his needs and wants and I just knew in my gut I couldn't continue to live with his constant mood swings and put-downs. Mumsnet was a lifesaver at the time as I read lots of threads and realised that I was dealing with a controlling tw*t and that it would never change.

Thanks for sticking by your child. My mum didn’t and they are still together!

This makes me think of Shirley Valentine x

This is my husband. He was told years ago if he managed his diet he could avoid diabetes. Instead he carried on eating shyte, is on a shit ton of medication and recently had a mini stroke. He lost his job last year and was doing food deliveries to make money but since the stroke he's done nothing. We currently live on my part time wage and inherited. I warned him last week that if he doesn't sort his shit out I'm leaving and taking my money with me. He's currently asleep upstairs has been since 2pm. I've worked mornings and evenings for 14 days straight, this is my 1st night off and he's chosen to stay upstairs. I can't stand it anymore. I'm 44 and want a life. This isn't living.

Inheritance *

I hear you.
Nothing to feel terrible about!

Husband 1 - told me he was having an affair and didn't love me
Husband 2 - psychopathic domestic abuse
There won't be a 3rd!

No experience of this but please get some professional advice. Could a charity like "Womens Aid " help?

How old are your kids? Ive been through this. PM me. My situation (he was VERY abusive) ended very very badly.

This was in Australia. Police, social services, courts - fucking useless and made it worse. Ive been back in the UK without kids (all young adults) for a few years now, and two out of four loathe me (parental alienation is incredibly powerful). He got away with murder I feel - sounds dramatic but Id rather he shot me, the emotional pain he put me through. It almost killed me.
The ironic part - Im a social worker. I see it way way too often. Im not rare sadly.

Oh sweetheart. You amazing woman for removing yourself and your darling boy. I hope your life is wonderful now!

I just realised one weekend that I couldn't live like I was anymore.

When he told me the reason he didn't visit me in a mental health unit when sectioned was because I "was playing up".

I was in the high intensity care unit on a 1:1 arm's reach.

If I ask DH now how his dinner is he always says it's lovely, and the texture is delightful 😂😂😂😂

The eggs and chips! 😂 when we had divorced he said i miss you, i replied what do you miss! He said your cooking 😂😂😂 arsehole!

The feeling of contempt. It’s very, very hard to come back from. Feeling like you are two strangers living under one roof.

Finding out he had been secretly filming me with hidden spy cameras. I had put up with a lot before that, but that was the moment I became scared of him. There was no saving the marriage after that.

I'm now in a relationship which is happy and healthy thankfully.

@YellowGuido this sounds so similar to me. Thank you for your input x

There’d been coercion for a long time and manipulation and EA for longer; but he was yelling at me for something and my 2yo stepped in front of me and shouted back at him, “Don’t you shout at my mummy!” It broke my heart. I knew then that it would never be ok, never be healthy, and I didn’t want her growing up thinking that was normal.

Oddly enough our relationship improved after that. Not enough but that was a nadir. That and me knowing he’d taken about £80 from a cash tin I kept but he denied it. I knew he was lying. Both those incidents were around the same time. The theft made me see him quite differently (and see my powerlessness in the relationship). The shouting one made me see what I was modelling to my daughter.

@Jimmyneutronsforehead oh wow i am so sorry you went through that! I’m so glad you got out!

@Yabayabadoo this is shit. Well done you for moving on