Amazing first date, heard from the next day but is now ignoring me.

[Boomska]

Hello!
im looking for advice.

I went on amazing first date that lasted 6 hours! We even had a hot kiss at the end and we both were sober as we were driving. We even spoke about going on a second date!

the first date happened on Friday night, we then spoke Saturday morning and afternoon where the convo flowed naturally. However, I haven’t heard from him since his last message on Saturday night which he sent at 6:45pm. I replied to it an hour later.

but then I’ve not heard from him. I’ve sent him another message Sunday mid afternoon just being like “hey noticed you’ve been quiet- I hope everything’s ok?” As he normally texts quite promptly. And still nothing. I know he’s been on his phone so definitely feel like he may be ghosting? 😭 I just hope he isnt ghosting me.

I’m just wondering when should I cut the chord and accept he’s ghosting or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and give him 72hrs?

thanks for reading xx

This is a bit intense ….

He doesn't want to "meet up for a walk" believe me. For him the 6 hours was an investment that didn't pay off and he doesn't intend to invest any more in that particular plan.

Actions speak louder than words. If he wanted to be in touch with you, he would. A text takes seconds.

Chalk it up as a nice evening and leave it at that. If a man/woman was interested, they’d make it known without a doubt. You’ve already asked if he’s ok, he’s hasn’t replied…move on..

you need to be aware that if he says he's poor at communicating, then
(a) he might be poor at communicating (and you'll explode in a relationship with him)
or
(b) he might just be a twat
(c) he might be in a relationship/got better offer, see (b) above.

I honestly would NOT do that, you’ve had one date and a few messages. I would just move on to other things, if he gets back in touch h in a few days/weeks that’s the time to say he doesn’t seem to be great at communicating as regularly as you would like so you’re going to pass on seeing him again.
Yes he should have messaged you after your last message, but he hasn’t which is a little rude. That’s all I would need to just not bother, as I’ve become older I’ve learned to match energy/effort with friends etc if I don’t hear from someone I tend not to bother either, if someone is a frequent communicator I reciprocate. It’s made life much easier!

Ffs don’t send that message. I would be thinking the same as you, and wanting to chase. But I would have a word with myself and stop myself to keep my dignity. If you like him, and want to pursue things, I think you’ll ruin any chance of that. Tbh, if a friend went on a date and described getting the text you are planning on sending, I would probably be saying get the hell out of dodge, they sound obsessive/unhinged.

Honestly! The audacity of a mediocre man saying on his very first date that he is a poor communicator!

Harsh as it is, If he wanted to have been in touch, he would have done. It takes less than a minute while sitting on the bog to reply to a message. He's just not interested enough to make an effort to text you back - your self-esteem should be high enough to just block him without further ado at this point.

Oh my goodness, he is a stranger to you who you have met once, he doesn't owe you anything. Please don't message him, for your own dignity. In a month's time, you will realise that you should have just let it be.

People show you who they are by their actions. He is currently showing you that he can't be arsed to contact you. @Boomska you need to be devoting your mental time and energy to anything else but him. Doesn't matter that it was a great first date or there was chemistry. You have to go on what the reality is now, not what you want it to be. Don't send any more messages, don't given him any more of your time and attention. Match his energy and input here, don't give more!!!!

Absolutely this.
When men are interested in you, you know.
When you are confused by them, they are not.

I want to say this as kindly as possible. I have five sons ranging from 22-27. I will tell you without any hesitation that that the ones that are dating would be turned off by a woman texting more than once and seeming a little too invested. They are attracted to women who they have to make as effort for.

five minutes ago

I think he is the one dodging a bullet here. If someone sent me a message like that I'd think they were unhinged.

I suspect he already has a wife or girlfriend, you were a bit of fun and now he's getting nervous about being caught so has ghosted you.

Whatever you do, don't send him that message.

Not because of the impact on him, but because you hand over the power when you do that.

He either gives a shit about you or he doesn't. You sending a message will make no difference to that but it just hands over your power to him.

I am not a fan of the "block and delete if you don't hear within 24 hours" approach, it's childish and needy and shades into control. But I also know from long experience that you can't talk and nudge people into liking you and that appearing needy will push people away fast.

If he likes you, he'll come back to you. If he doesn't, he won't.

Please don't. Just don't. Read the room. He's not interested and you come off as desperate.

It's only Monday. He'll phone you when he's ready, if he wants to. For goodness sakes, don't chase him! All you've had is one date, there's no obligation on either side. However I hope you do hear from him as you enjoyed yourself so much.

Yikes. Needy much.

I hope you didn’t send that message irs a bit needy , if he wanted to text you he would. He is choosing not to. He still might but texting him to say you’re hurt isn’t a good way to get him to contact you, just leave it op. If he’s interested he will reach out, don’t chase and get all emotional.

Hang on - this was a FIRST date? It clearly went well enough on both sides that you talked about a second date and had nice messages the next day.

But you aren’t exclusive yet, you aren’t in a relationship.

I’d expect a text around Tues/Wed in this situation to connect about a possible second date for the weekend.

Agree with PPs that you should find some self respect. You sound like a fourteen year old.

Don’t do that - leave the ball in his court. If he wants to get back, he will, and if he has a reason for ignoring you, you can sit back and weigh things up.

But all you’ll do by sending another message is to look desperate, a bit hysterical and wind him up.

Maybe it's just that I'm very old but does everything have to happen in a desperate rush?

From Saturday evening to now is not very long at all, & after one date I wouldn't want to be bombarded with messages every few hours no matter how great it was—I'd feel it was love-bombing.

You did it didn’t you op. You sent him that desperate text..,please tell me I’m wrong,