Amazing first date, heard from the next day but is now ignoring me.

[Boomska]

Hello!
im looking for advice.

I went on amazing first date that lasted 6 hours! We even had a hot kiss at the end and we both were sober as we were driving. We even spoke about going on a second date!

the first date happened on Friday night, we then spoke Saturday morning and afternoon where the convo flowed naturally. However, I haven’t heard from him since his last message on Saturday night which he sent at 6:45pm. I replied to it an hour later.

but then I’ve not heard from him. I’ve sent him another message Sunday mid afternoon just being like “hey noticed you’ve been quiet- I hope everything’s ok?” As he normally texts quite promptly. And still nothing. I know he’s been on his phone so definitely feel like he may be ghosting? 😭 I just hope he isnt ghosting me.

I’m just wondering when should I cut the chord and accept he’s ghosting or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and give him 72hrs?

thanks for reading xx

If he wanted to, he would. Draw a line under it and move on.

I can understand where you are coming from OP, particularly if this happens a lot.

I’ve just read this book
Detached , Sabrina Alexis Bendory

Ive found it so helpful and definitely given me a new perspective on dating and how my behaviour is influencing things.

Do NOT message again. Also NEVER send the 'i noticed you've been quiet text...'

No, no more time! That’s it. His loss.

you’ve sent a “you ok?” Message and he’s not replied. That’s on him.

don’t you dare send another message @Boomska , he knows where you are.

he’s not the one for you.

I know it hurts, but don’t demean yourself by sending anything else, he has options? So do you.

you deserve better treatment than this, don’t settle for anything less.

I recommend reading the book “The Rules” and absolutely giving no one the benefit of the doubt when dating.

Damned right.

its all a fucking game to some blokes, don’t play into their ego fest.

Absolutely do not send this message. You are massively over thinking this and it's coming across to him, he'll run a mile. You've got to live your own life, if you hear from him you hear from him, meanwhile you are doing your thing.

100%

This. Times a million @Boomska

You’re looking like you’re desperate a sure way to put him off. You’ve chased he’s not replied read the room and let this one go. If he was interested he’d have responded by now

If someone is genuinely interested in you, that person will tell/show you.

He will either respond or he won’t. But sending him additional messages won’t make a difference.

I genuinley believe that if a man wants to, he will. Scenarios. He’s married/in another relationship. He’s not interested. He’s a manipulative game player who wants to get you to chase him, see how invested you are and figure out what you’re prepared to tolerate. He’s too busy: (that’s not true) and he’ll circle back round in a few days and that’ll be how it plays out for the duration of any relationship you might have. There’s nothing you can really do. You know he’s been on the phone and it takes 1 minute to say, sorry I’m up to my eyes in something right now, call you this week… there’s no valid excuse. And I mean, if he’s playing ‘hard to get’ it means he wants princess treatment which is not attractive.

No..no..no..no

Agree. Don’t chase. It honestly doesn’t work. X

I don’t know this guy, but I have dated guys where this silence happened and most of the time it turned out they had been out on sat night with their mates and stayed up all night drinking doing coke and the ‘ghosting’ was them dealing with a terrible all day hangover laying in bed feeling sorry for themselves and not wanting me to know they had got wrecked as they knew it would probably come across as unattractive. Which to me it is and not someone I want to date

Absolutely. It‘s also the wrong approach to dating (imo).

“My life is awesome and if I find the right man, I’ll make space for him“ is a much healthier (and probably also more attractive…) approach than appearing needy, bored or overly invested.

I‘m also a firm believer in consistent and open communication. Somebody going from hot to cold, leaving you guessing etc. is either playing a game or just not interested (enough) to invest time and energy.

Girl, you have been ghosted.

To keep texting is making you look like a tick.

Sorry but my line thought on this is that if someone is interested they will text back pretty quick. A few hours max. People always have their phone with them so if they haven’t responded it’s because they don’t want to/you are not a priority. It’s annoying I know. But you would t wait that long to text back k because you’re interested and want the relationship to progress…. He’s not bothered

We're all cringing for you.

DO NOT KEEP TEXTING HIM.

Eeek! Do not send him any more messages! You probably completely put him off with your needy ‘you’re being quiet’ message yesterday.

Is this what dating is like these days? In future try and chill out more. A few days between messages means nothing.

The "amazing date" was him sussing out whether you would have sex with him. You didn't so he's on to the next candidate, that's all. (PS it's not only men who do this, I have to admit I did as a young woman).

To be honest the biggest red flag to me is the fact you spent 6 hours with him on the first date! However much I liked/got on with someone, I would not give 6 hours of my time to a guy I’d just met. You want to leave them wanting more and to see you again. He probably thought he was going to get you into bed by the end of it and that’s why he went cold! (Added to the needy texts).

Unless something horrendous has happened in his life it’s most likely that he’s just not that into you. Forget and move on.

Saturday night is wife night?

Sorry to hear this OP. Who knows what is going on in his mind. However I agree with the others and don’t text him anymore. I also wouldn’t bother with him if he rocks back up in afew days. He’s clearly not that interested and will just mess you about.