Amazing first date, heard from the next day but is now ignoring me.

[Boomska]

Hello!
im looking for advice.

I went on amazing first date that lasted 6 hours! We even had a hot kiss at the end and we both were sober as we were driving. We even spoke about going on a second date!

the first date happened on Friday night, we then spoke Saturday morning and afternoon where the convo flowed naturally. However, I haven’t heard from him since his last message on Saturday night which he sent at 6:45pm. I replied to it an hour later.

but then I’ve not heard from him. I’ve sent him another message Sunday mid afternoon just being like “hey noticed you’ve been quiet- I hope everything’s ok?” As he normally texts quite promptly. And still nothing. I know he’s been on his phone so definitely feel like he may be ghosting? 😭 I just hope he isnt ghosting me.

I’m just wondering when should I cut the chord and accept he’s ghosting or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and give him 72hrs?

thanks for reading xx

Don’t send another text. Ball is in his court. If he doesn’t reply then move on

I completely agree with you, if that's any consolation

Me too. I would have arranged another date when you first text him. Then wait u til you see him.

Back when mobile signal was dodgy and phone boxes still existed, I had a bloke I’d been on one date with walk 6 MILES to find a call box to get in touch as his phone wasn’t working properly

I met a lad on holiday waaaaaaaay before mobile phones, I'd mentioned that I had a Saturday job in a one off type of shop, he drove from Hertfordshire to my area of South London to find me !

This sounds so painful. Seriously, all this texting etc is just causing anxiety. If a man texts you, reply and then leave it at that. Following up saying you're being quiet is a turn-off. Let the man do the chasing while you live your life. If he's keen, he'll let you know.

If you like him don’t text back. Give the impression you are too cool to give a shit if he texts back or not. Don’t send the text, it’s been one date… he’s not obliged to send you anything.

It’s been 2 days. He probably had sex with someone he met on Saturday so doesn’t “need” you now

Put down the phone, delete his number and forget about it. If he wants you he knows how to reach you. Txting like that so early on in a relationship never mind after one date is a major red flag!

If a guy was like to me after 2 days of not speaking after one date, I would be totally put off haha!

Leave him alone for a bit, you come across as needy and intruding on his space. It might put him off completely. He might think “ jeez imagine what she’s like in a relationship if she’s like this after one date “

exactly!

Let’s hope he has a very good excuse ghosting is just awful 😢

Hey OP I know you’ve said communication isn’t your strong suit, but I have to be honest; going quiet on the group like this comes across as rude and hurtful. I’d much rather you be upfront and say you’re no longer interested in this post than just disappear on us all with no update!😉

Gosh it’s only Monday! I doubt he will get back in touch now as OP will have scared him off.

This need for constant contact must be very wearing. OP - you need to relax more in the future. It doesn’t matter if there’s no contact for a few days.

If a man is in to you, he’ll be arranging the second date before the end of the first date. You won’t need to chase as he’ll make it clear he likes you. However, you will put men off if you are constantly sending needy messages.

I don't think this guy has done anything wrong. You had a nice date, loose plans to meet for a second. He's not feeling it this second, he might next week or he might be dating different people at the same time or have just got back with his girlfriend or anything. You simply don't know someone after one date or are owed his time.

Do not text three times in a row! Twice was bad enough, he understands turntaking, he chose not to take his turn.

Read 'He's just not that into you', I did and it told me a lot about how men aren't too busy/tired if you are someone they want to date and it's true.

Get yourself some ribs and some ice cream honey because you have been dumped

i.e He’s just not that into you

He has a life outside of your date. He’s probably getting the ick as you are coming across pretty needy.

Suprised how many people are saying “throw him back” because he isn’t glued to his phone.

They had one date, she then behaved all needy, many people, men and women alike would ghost at thay point, worried about what they’d got into. I mean even id be tempted to ghost if a bloke was doing that to me.

the date was only on Friday, it’s only Monday now, by Sunday she’d already sent him the needy text, and was her third, she even said she deliberately waited sat night, indicating she wanted to but bided her time. It’s too much,

He’s just not that into you, sorry to say. Don’t send another message, it looks weird and desperate.

I really hope you didn't send this, or any message. It comes over as quite intense, if not actually needy, and even if he is still "around" might be quite offputting. What does it gain for you? It is almost an invitation to dump you. If he has done so already, there is no point. Some people are a lot more laid back than you seem to be, so he may still be out there for you. But fwiw I think he is quite likely not single. Sorry OP. There are plenty more fish in the sea. Enjoy fishing!🍷

You sound really intense OP. One date does not mean you are in a relationship and that he owes you constant communication.

If, two days after a first date and 24 hours after I’d last messaged, someone was ‘noticing I’d gone quiet’ I think I’d be quite reluctant to see them again.

It’s not necessarily wrong to want to be so involved so quickly, but it has to be a mutual want and most people will want to take things much more slowly!

This.

Maybe he’s dodged a bullet! I mean he doesn’t have to text you all the time, maybe he has a life.

On your part, if he doesn’t text back then no don’t message him again. Leave it.

This is dating 101

totally empathise been here so many times. I don’t know why men do this. It’s so frustrating. Clear honest communication is all it takes. My relationship pattern has always been to chase in situations like this and it always ends me up in relationships with avoidant men who can’t meet my emotional needs. It’s so tempting to give them the benefit of the doubt and hold out hope. Honestly it won’t end well. It takes no time to send you a message. Believe him when he shows you that he’s this thoughtless about your feelings.

Your posts don’t bear this out OP. You messaged him mid-afternoon on Sunday saying you noticed he’d been quiet. You had been messaging the previous evening until nearly 7pm!

Maybe he has ghosted you, maybe not. Just park it for now, and live your life - you’ve only had one date with him! If he gets in touch again, see how you feel at that point. And don’t send him any more messages - he has your number!