Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

His wife is in Labour. What do I do?

131 replies

whatsupsis · 04/10/2025 12:34

I’ve been in a
relationship with a man for 7 months. We have got on really well he lives (or I thought he did) 2 hrs away in a city. He came here and stayed with me 2 nights a week and we have been on a city break to Europe. He has met my family.

He was meant to come yesterday afternoon but phoned to break it off with me. I’m ashamed to say I cried and
didnt let him go easily. He told me his wife was pregnant! HIS WIFE!! He said she’s in early stages of labour and he’s decided to make a go of it.

I’ve now realised I don’t know anyone from his life. He’s a self employed electrician. I do know his real name but can’t find any socials. He always hated socials.

Im stunned. I didn’t know he was married. I am such a fool! I mean I didn’t have a clue. I was so caught up
on
what fun we were having.

I haven’t told anyone I’m too embarrassed. My marriage broke up because my husband left me for someone else. I’m such a bloody fool.

what do I do? Well I don’t have the balls to do anything but I’ve got to get over this again. I’m so pissed off. Do you think he does have a
pregnant wife? How would I even find out? Mind you what would I do with the information. Probably nothing.

OP posts:
PrimalLass · 04/10/2025 12:35

Just walk away.

PraisebetoGod · 04/10/2025 12:37

If it's true he has a pregnant wife the best thing you can do is leave it. He's made his choice.

If it's not true that he has a pregnant wife, the best thing to do is leave it. He's lying and has made a choice.

You deserve better than a liar or an unfaithful married man anyway.

SepticPegsSepticLeg · 04/10/2025 12:38

Yes he probably does have a pregnant wife.

Either way it doesn't matter he broke it off with you wife or no wife.

I'm sorry you've been treated so badly. What an absolute cunt he is.

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 04/10/2025 12:38

If you know where he lives, send a message to his wife telling her everything and apologise profusely, ps congratulations and good luck with the baby.

Then blacklist him.

There are no winners in this.

Original poster
whatsupsis · 04/10/2025 12:40

I don’t think I have the guts to do anything like tell his wife even if I did know who she was. I’m just stunned. I’m also really pissed off i didn’t see how spear he kept me. Now I have to tell friends as we were supposed to be going to a group weekend in two weeks.

OP posts:
NewDayNewColour · 04/10/2025 12:42

Christ just leave

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 04/10/2025 12:42

You're not a fool. He was the AH for dating you while he was still married. Unfortunately you know the story now and I'm so sorry to hear it. Be good to yourself for awhile. Wallowing with Ben & Jerry's and Netflix is definitely allowed 🩷

UpMyself · 04/10/2025 12:43

what do I do?
You accept that it's over. Block him. You were probably told a pack of lies, and you didn't spot that who you thought he was wasn't the real him.
Most of us will have made that mistake.
Give it time and you'll get over it.

Well I don’t have the balls to do anything but I’ve got to get over this again.
You'll get over it.
I’m so pissed off. Understandably.

Do you think he does have a pregnant wife?
It doesn't matter whether he does or not. It's over.
How would I even find out? You don't.
Mind you what would I do with the information. Probably nothing.
You could tell her, but that won't make things better.

I would do this
"If you know where he lives, send a message to his wife telling her everything and apologise profusely, ps congratulations and good luck with the baby."
but that's me.

I'd tell my friends that we split up, and say we wanted different things out of life, or something.

Mumdiva99 · 04/10/2025 12:44

You poor thing. What a bustard. You deserve so much better.
Don't feel bad telling your friends - they love you and want the best for you. True friends will support you through this. If you don't want to do a big announcement just tell the one you are closest too. She/he can let the others know. You can still go away if you want. Go and have a great time.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 04/10/2025 12:45

What do you do? Absolutely nothing?!

What do you think you could do?

Move on, he’s a prick. Don’t waste any time trying to unpick why.

GRCP · 04/10/2025 12:46

Bloody hell, how do people like this exist? I feel guilty if I don’t recycle my yoghurt pots.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 04/10/2025 12:46

whatsupsis · 04/10/2025 12:40

I don’t think I have the guts to do anything like tell his wife even if I did know who she was. I’m just stunned. I’m also really pissed off i didn’t see how spear he kept me. Now I have to tell friends as we were supposed to be going to a group weekend in two weeks.

So tell your friends you broke up. That's hardly an unusual thing to happen.

inamo · 04/10/2025 12:47

You have to walk away from this person, no good will come of it. Block and start again, painful as it is. As for telling people, I wouldn't go into the details, it's none of their business anyway and some people can gloat over another's misery even if on the surface they are great buddies. Leave that out and merely say "it's over, things just didn't work out between us and we decided to part" If pressed, say "I'd rather not talk about it, thanks".

Do not try to contact him or his "wife". No good will come of it.

HRchatter · 04/10/2025 12:47

Tell her.

gamerchick · 04/10/2025 12:47

You don't do anything. You don't tell a woman in labour her blokes a scumbag. No matter how much she needs to know.

Walk away. If he's lying then he's still scum and you've had a lucky escape.

WatchingTheDetective · 04/10/2025 12:48

GRCP · 04/10/2025 12:46

Bloody hell, how do people like this exist? I feel guilty if I don’t recycle my yoghurt pots.

😂

WatchingTheDetective · 04/10/2025 12:49

Either he has a pregnant wife who is in labour, or he's capable of telling you a huge lie. Either way he's not the man for you, OP.

StillCreatingAName · 04/10/2025 12:51

If he does have a wife who’s about to give birth to his child, then he’s used you and could react badly if you call him out or expose his double life in any way, so you need to cut all ties immediately, block everywhere and change your number ideally. Never see him again.

But if he just made that up as an excuse, then he’s a fantasist who has used you and could react badly if you call him out or expose his double life in any way, so you need to cut all ties immediately, block everywhere and change your number ideally. Never see him again.

Rightsraptor · 04/10/2025 12:54

Maybe he has a wife in labour, maybe he doesn't. It's immaterial. He's behaved like a total shit towards you (and her, of course, if she exists) and that's what you need to consider.

Have nothing more to do with him. It won't be easy, but stick to your guns.

Nothappeningtoday · 04/10/2025 12:54

Don’t tell her. She’s in labour that would be nothing short of cruel. Step away and have a think. If you do feel you have to tell her don’t do it for a few months

Pinkmagic1 · 04/10/2025 12:54

It's awful and heartbreaking and makes you question your own worth.

I was in this position earlier this year, albeit his live in partner wasn't pregnant. I had been seeing him for roughly the same time as you and had previously left a long marriage as my ex husband cheated numerous times.
I got in contact with his partner as I needed the full story which I wouldn't have got from him. Also she deserved to know the truth. I'm not sure if that would be a good idea in this circumstance though, with her condition.

She threw him out and he constantly begs me to resume our relationship, turning up on my doorstep and promising me the world. I could have easily have forgiven him at a few points as emotionally I have been so low, but I just look at the photos of him and her together and read the messages I exchanged with her and just think how much disrespect he had for both of us.

I think if I were you, given her condition, I would walk away, but threaten him that you will make contact with her. Leave him sweating and tying himself in knots.

HeyHeyItsTheMonkeys · 04/10/2025 12:56

When he was staying with you every week was he working in your city? It sounds like he was using you. You are much much better off without him. He was either lying massively when you met, or he is lying massively now. If he is married, he has been hugely lying to her.

You have had a lucky escape - he has no integrity or morals - this is not the sort of person you want to build a life with…

Eyesopenwideawake · 04/10/2025 12:56

Be thankful she's not in Reform.

I'll get me coat...

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 04/10/2025 12:57

Please don’t feel bad- some people are just very good liars. A man who was able to stay with you overnight regularly, do weekends away etc wouldn’t trigger alarm bells of being married. (Sadly you might have been a cheap alternative to staying in hotels when his work took him to your town.)

It’s ok to be upset, you didn’t know you were the OW. What you tell your friends is up to you. If you can’t face telling them the truth, then “we broke up, just weren’t right for each other.” Would be enough. On the other hand, it might be nice to have their support if you tell them what happened.

TwistedWonder · 04/10/2025 12:57

He’s either a lying cheating cunt with a pregnant wife or he’s a lying cunt inventing a pregnant wife to dump you - either way he’s a piece of shit.

My money would be on him being a serial
cheat and that this isn’t his first rodeo.

Sadly there’s been many threads on here from women who were completely taken in by an experienced liar. I remember 1 where it went on for 4 years and she had no idea he had a wife. There are too many scumbags out there who lie to get sex

Block him tell your mates it’s over and move on with your head held high.