His wife is in Labour. What do I do?

[whatsupsis]

I’ve been in a
relationship with a man for 7 months. We have got on really well he lives (or I thought he did) 2 hrs away in a city. He came here and stayed with me 2 nights a week and we have been on a city break to Europe. He has met my family.

He was meant to come yesterday afternoon but phoned to break it off with me. I’m ashamed to say I cried and
didnt let him go easily. He told me his wife was pregnant! HIS WIFE!! He said she’s in early stages of labour and he’s decided to make a go of it.

I’ve now realised I don’t know anyone from his life. He’s a self employed electrician. I do know his real name but can’t find any socials. He always hated socials.

Im stunned. I didn’t know he was married. I am such a fool! I mean I didn’t have a clue. I was so caught up
on
what fun we were having.

I haven’t told anyone I’m too embarrassed. My marriage broke up because my husband left me for someone else. I’m such a bloody fool.

what do I do? Well I don’t have the balls to do anything but I’ve got to get over this again. I’m so pissed off. Do you think he does have a
pregnant wife? How would I even find out? Mind you what would I do with the information. Probably nothing.

I agree. 7 months… about the time his wife probably went off sex in pregnancy. Now the end is near and he won’t be able to slip off as much with a newborn around, he’s ended it.

OP you say "I’ve been in a relationship with a man for 7 months. ... He came here and stayed with me 2 nights a week and we have been on a city break to Europe. He has met my family."

So you never went to his home or even his home city, never met his family?

The group weekend was supposed to be with your friends, yes? Did you ever meet his friends?

Next time you're tempted to start a relationship, research the man's background. Any gaps, dump him. It's not stalking, it's vetting, and it's totally necessary.

I’m sorry that happened to you. He sounds awful. Regardless of what his situation is, I would cut all contact and leave him to get on with it. He’s proven himself to be untrustworthy, unreliable and downright horrible. Nobody needs a person like that in their life.

You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about. The shame is ALL his!

On seeing ‘in Labour’ I thought you meant some sort of Labour Party official!

Well you won't want him back so i'd back away and learn from it.

Could have been worse, you know.

You could have been the woman whose husband was screwing somebody else throughout pregnancy and only deciding to dump the unsuspecting girlfriend when there's a chance of normal sexual activity resuming in a few weeks.

Chances are he'll be back sniffing around once the baby's taking too much of her attention away from him, telling you that he really tried but she threw him out and he's got nowhere else to go, though.

You can tell your friends as much or as little as you want. Just say that it didn’t work out.

you can vent to us on here as much as you need to.

Poor you! I also feel sorry for his poor wife. He’s awful. I’m glad you’re out of it.

He was using you for free accomodation, food, sex etc. Forget he ever existed and moved on. Next time be a bit more curious and discerning.

Walk away there’s no need to explain to your friends if you broke up and that’s it. Learn a hard lesson for next time and a week or so you’ll see all the reasons why you’ve sort of half knew there was something odd going on. personally I don’t think he’s got a wife in labour he just wanted to break up with you

I don't think anybody would react negatively to you saying 'Fucking wanker turned out to be married'.

Apparently you have a pattern for attracting unstable guys. Give solitude a go and clear your mental space. Give solitude about 5 years and see what happens

You dont do anything. It's unfortunate and sad for you if you liked this horrible selfish cheat. But concentrate on building up your life without him in it.

How do you know it’s his real name? He may even have lied to you about that?

a friend had similar happen to her, she was in a relationship with someone for nearly a year….he got “posted” to the USA as he was “in the RAF”. Big farewell party.

then a few weeks later she saw him in Tesco in town with his wife. Not in the raf, the name he’d given her was false. I mean they live in the same small city, how did he think he’d get away with it!

Sorry you’ve found out this way, but cut your losses and leave.
DSis found out that the man she was seeing was not single when his wife turned up at her office with her new baby (they all work in the same industry, word had got around). Sometimes you believe what you want to believe, but sometimes the truth hits you in the face.

What do you do? Do you really need to ask? Block him everywhere and don't communicate with him again, especially when he comes creeping back hoping for a shag.

Leave and allow yourself to grieve a bit for your relationship but do not tell his wife. Child birth is hard enough without her being putting a huge amount of extra stress.

Whether it's true or not about the wife and baby, he's broken things off with you & he's a pig either way. You've had a lucky escape, never ever let him back into your life.
Seven months is a short time in a relationship, just forget him & move one to better things.

You poor soul. What do you do now? You wallow. Allow yourself to feel sad for the demise of the relationship you thought you had and then allow yourself to feel angry. You can reassure yourself that this has been a great 'teaching moment',because I don't imagine you will ever again have a relationship with a man you haven't thoroughly checked out first.

I'd tell my friends what happened. They will all be incredibly angry on your behalf and very supportive. If you are afraid that this won't happen or that they might be a bit 'hmmm, well she must have known...' then don't tell them, pretend you just split up. It depends on the friends really.

No cruel is fucking around while your wife is pregnant.
Telling her it’s absolutely the right thing to do she might not believe it. She might not want to do anything about it but she should most definitely know.
Keeping these idiots secrets is what facilitates their literal abuse of their families

He's one of the many assholes cheating on their wife while getting into new relationships without disclosing he's married. Unfortunately, you've got one.

Don't contact his wife, the woman is pregnant and won't look at you kindly lighting up a match on her life at this point.

Walk away from drama and make sure he can never contact you.

First baby? He probably hasn't realised yet she won't be putting out for at least a few more weeks.... he'll be back!

Block him. And get STI testing.

Stop looking for him. Block and delete everything.

I was really hoping this was a post about a mixed politics family and how to navigate. So saddened for you OP but time to move on

Obviously DON'T Do this.

im
usually all fir telling the wife/partner, but if she is in labour/about to be a new mum. The last bloody thing she needs us to find this out. It's not like she can shove the baby back in ' deal with this first.

He'll either sort his shit out or fuck up again & she can deal with him then. Having his baby might make him see what he's risking losing.

I'm so very sorry he's lied to you & hurt you so badly. 🤗

oh & don't let people tell you 'no socials ' is a huge red flag & you should have known etc. I don't have any & im not a married man 🙄

Next time, don't leave it too long before meeting his family/friends, but that's not 100% either.

That’s just cruel and ridiculous