His wife is in Labour. What do I do?

[whatsupsis]

I’ve been in a
relationship with a man for 7 months. We have got on really well he lives (or I thought he did) 2 hrs away in a city. He came here and stayed with me 2 nights a week and we have been on a city break to Europe. He has met my family.

He was meant to come yesterday afternoon but phoned to break it off with me. I’m ashamed to say I cried and
didnt let him go easily. He told me his wife was pregnant! HIS WIFE!! He said she’s in early stages of labour and he’s decided to make a go of it.

I’ve now realised I don’t know anyone from his life. He’s a self employed electrician. I do know his real name but can’t find any socials. He always hated socials.

Im stunned. I didn’t know he was married. I am such a fool! I mean I didn’t have a clue. I was so caught up
on
what fun we were having.

I haven’t told anyone I’m too embarrassed. My marriage broke up because my husband left me for someone else. I’m such a bloody fool.

what do I do? Well I don’t have the balls to do anything but I’ve got to get over this again. I’m so pissed off. Do you think he does have a
pregnant wife? How would I even find out? Mind you what would I do with the information. Probably nothing.

Leave where? She hasn't even visited his home, let alone moved in.

Exactly.

I just find it incredible that you can be in a relationship with someone for 7 months and not to have visited his home, or met his mother, or best mate. I’d smell a rat after six weeks. I can’t imagine going on a European city break with someone having never visited his house. Bizarre.

You just have to walk away.

Happened to me, I was with him for nearly a year. He was engaged and had been with her a decade
i told her, she stayed as he fed her a pack of lies. A year later she messaged me (not the fake me he was pretending to be on social media) and the truth came out
she ditched him instantly

I didn’t visit the guys house as he lived with his unwell nan (that bit was true)
I met his friends. They never said a word about his girlfriend

Block him, delete his number and attempt to move on (appreciate that’s not easy).

What a shit situation :/.

I don't think they're living together, luckily.

Sorry OP. This is awful, but you've had a lucky escape.

Yes it is.

I also couldn't see what her political leanings had to do with it.

You don't do anything, do not try to find this woman to tell her, leave her alone, she's literally about to have a baby this is the last thing she needs right now. You got swept up in something that wasn't real, block him and move on.

I don't think you should tell his wife either. She'll find out sooner or later but giving a new mum this to deal with too would be a really nasty thing to do and if you're a decent person, wouldn't make you feel any better. You're well shot of him.

Regardless of the ‘unwell Nan’, I would find it very fishy not to go to someone’s house in the first couple of months of dating.

Tell him you know who his wife is and that you are going to tell her. Then disappear from his life. He’ll be shitting himself. What a bastard.

That poor woman. You can walk away with your head held high and if anyone asks you tell them the truth. His poor wife is stuck with him.

thank your lucky stars you are not his wife married to this slime ball. hold your head high and walk away

I agree. It’s a huge red flag imo. Even in a LDR I’d expect to split weekends at each others, not it always be at mine.

If I haven’t spent a weekend at his after a couple of months, I’d be asking a lot of questions as to why

I can’t believe a man with no social media presence and who never asked you to stay at his home in seven months has turned out to be a wrong ‘un. Who’d have thought??

Sorry to hear this OP, I'm sure you must upset. Assuming he's telling the truth (and if he isn't, you obviously can't trust him now), then you really should walk away. You deserve better. If he is telling the truth, I wonder what excuse he's going to come up with for being at home a lot more!

You obviously see it now, but most people are really excited when they meet someone and want to introduce them to their family (if they've don't have contact with any family, most people are open enough to tell you why) or friends, or invite you to his for a weekend together.

I’m sorry this has happened to you.
Please take it as a very lucky break. It could have been so much worse or complicated had you continued, fallen pregnant etc.

You deserve better. Grieve and move on to great things x

I mean… you didn’t know. There’s no point blaming yourself for being deceived just like his wife was. But you stay away from them now. They’ve got a baby and she’s going to be very vulnerable so block him and stay far away.

Tell a trusted friend or family member if you need specific support. If not, then tell them you caught him out in some serious lies and so broke up. They’ll respect that and it’s not untrue.

Walk away from it all. Never look back.

Walk away and block him. Nothing good can come from this and he will inevitably try to come crawling back when the going gets tough with the new baby. Don’t allow him back under any circumstances.

Exactly. No where in the UK is that inaccessible. When I was 22 I met a boy from Edinburgh on holiday in Kos. I lived in Devon. We used to see each other every two weeks. We were skint, had crap cars, both worked FT and still managed it.

Don't do this! Why would she want to traumatise the poor woman who has just had a baby? It's vengeful, these things are never rarely done for the woman's sake. Let them work through it and just hope that the wife is OK.

Thank you all for the advice. I will not be having any more to do with the prick! I have no idea how to contact his wife and Jesus she really doesn’t need me adding to her grief.
I have been a total idiot here. I swallowed all his lies. On the nights he stayed with me he usually had a day off or was just catching up with paperwork or quotes etc. sometimes he would have a job to do near by.

I have blocked his number now. I’ve sworn so much today. I’m so bloody cross.

I'd be tempted to lie to him as a form of revenge. I'd tell him that I was pregnant too and that I'd had an STI rest with positive results.....but that's me.