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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Things our toxic parents have done/said that is bats*it crazy

186 replies

Crimble123 · 04/10/2025 07:02

I thought id start a thread away from stately homes where we can just list the things our toxic parents have done that other people would be horrified about but for us its a long list of things that were seen as "normal" to our parents.
I can laugh about alot of them now, obviously at the time not so funny. Just thought some light hearted dark humour of these things would help people not feel so alone and make us laugh a little in a rubbish situation I.e toxic parents.

As I previously mentioned on the stately homes board. I once brought my mum an orchid as a gift for her birthday. She moaned about it as thats not her 'usual' type of plant she likes.
Anyway she had it for a few months. In this time she kept commenting how it looked fake. One day there was no plant and I asked what had happened. They crazy woman how chopped it up as she was convinced it wasn't real. So she just chopped my gift up that wasn't a cheap purchase either. No remorse for destroying the gift I got her either.

I received a call to move into a womens refuge almost 10 years ago away from abusive ex. My mum said to me "its not that bad is it" I think i stood with my mouth wide up and said they don't just offer refuge places for anyone.

There's many more but I cant think right now. Would be good to hear some of yours?

OP posts:
Mehmeh22 · 04/10/2025 19:59

When it was my 21st birthday, my mum and I had arranged to spend the day together so I booked the afternoon off work. Work had been lovely and made me feel special. Came home and my mum wasnt there. After an hour I ring ger. Shes at my aunts and 'will be home soon'. 4 hours later, she came back and was annoyed at me because I was crying...because I was sat there on my own, on my birthday when I didnt need to be.

My mum and sister moved abroad and Ive seen them a handful of times since. My sister hasn't met my 6 year old daughter and met my 9 year old once and that was for my fathers funeral. I could go to them, but they live in a remote area with no where to stay and the kids would hate it. My mum and sister are not interested in kids anyway.

When they came over for my wedding 10 years ago, I hadnt seen them in 3 years. Arranged to spend time together the day after the wedding. I turn up at the house and they were on the way out to meet friends. They forgot the arrangement with me, even though it was made first and did them anyway. My new husband was disgusted.

Then my mum promised to come over for the birth of my eldest. A month before, I message her and ask when she was coming. She denied she ever said it and both my mum and dad gaslit me. Heavily pregnant with minimal family support around me and hormonal, I was devastated. Eventually they had to admit she was coming but my father was furious I ruined the surprise (?!). He didnt speak to me for weeks.

My mym sold our childhood home without telling me. When she came over to sell it, it was very near Christmas. I found out from my mother in law that my mum was leaving in two days. My mum had not arranged to say goodbye. I hadnt spent a Christmas with my mum in ten years at that point, and I thought it would be nice for the kids. But no.

When my eldest was having holy communion, my mum offered to come over, which I had started not to expect but was pleased. She told me the date she was coming. Great. I ring her the week before and I ask the details of her flight. She was already in the country, 20 mins away from me. She had planned to spend a week with her family and friends without telling me.

RaraRachael · 04/10/2025 20:12

Every career choice I came up with was met with - "Don't be stupid"

"You've brought shame on me and I hope you fail on your own" - when I left an unhappy marriage. Apparently I should have "Stuck it out" so she didn't have to admit to people that her daughter was divorced.

I wanted to change career twice - "That's a fine slap in the face after all the sacrifices I made to put you through teacher training"

Thankfully the old bag died - don't know the date as I blocked it out of my memory - and I haven't shed a single tear and never will.

I found it very cathartic to go through all my photos and shred every single one that had her in it.

AzureCats · 04/10/2025 20:28

Realised I've buried the trauma because I'm struggling to come up with exact examples now yet they come creeping back in whenever I'm depressed or got insomnia. The below isn't even the worst of it.

Didn't let me to go to the end of school party that literally the whole school went to at 18. Shouted at my friends when they knocked the door for me that night. Then came in around 11pm when it was too late to do anything and was like awww you OK hun as if my upset was nothing to do with her actions!

Called me fat when I was a size 10/12 when she was at least size 20.

Absolutely ruined my sisters wedding the night before by throwing a temper tantrum. She died before mine but she wouldn't have got an invite anyway after what I saw her do to my sister.

Ruined my graduation by staying up all night on her phone with sound on loud. When she finally did go to sleep her snoring kept me awake. Made the mistake of sharing hotel room.

Didn't think it was that impressive when I graduated in Sciences, even though she didn't even finish school let alone not getting any GCSEs. Similarly gave me terrible job advice despite her being unemployed since before I was born.

Told me about her domestic violence she suffered at the hands of her first husband in great detail. Despite me being a young and sensitive child.

Absolutely harassed me about boys and being pregnant even though I was literally a pariah in school that didn't have a snowballs chance of having a boyfriend. Always asked loudly OOOOOH WHO'S THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND?? whenever we saw anyone from school in our tiny town. Mortifying.

Didn't bother bringing me to a dentist for the entire childhood and somehow the dentist also blamed 10 year old me for my teeth the one time she bothered. There was never toothpaste in the house. Also the weekly baths and no hot water the rest of the time.

Used to read my diaries and then quote them back to me. Then had the audacity to say "you never tell me anything". Because when I did she wouldn't listen and just make up her own version. Like when I was 7 I hated clowns. And she got me a clown cake! It's like she heard the word clowns and went oh yeah Azure mentioned clowns, I'll get her one. 🤦🏻‍♀️

The worst was just her temper and her blowing up at the tiniest thing. It was definitely walking on eggshells and nothing was good enough. She could hide it long enough in polite company, but all us kids got the brunt of it. You couldnt explain it because she seemed perfectly normal to anyone else. She used to cry when she dropped a tea spoon. If a cup got knocked over it may as well been the end of the world. We were good kids, not noisy or messy and did well in school. But any accidents would get a rant for the rest of the day minimum.

Making nice plans like going to the beach or swimming pool. Then decided at the last second once everything was packed that we weren't going. Then cry for an hour then decide to go again.

Social services knew she was a problem since my much older siblings needed their help. Me being the youngest when everyone else grew up and left got absolutely no intervention. Teachers knew the state of my teeth and I was terminally shy. I'm always amazed I got out alive and actually made something of my life.

AzureCats · 04/10/2025 20:36

Oh @Crimble123 your post about clothes brought a memory back. Clothes shopping was a nightmare. We didn't have any money and lived in a tiny rural place so choices was few and expensive. Way before Internet. Catalogues was our closest thing to fashion.

She would insist I wore pink stuff or with childish cartoons on it even when I was coming into teens. I loved blue as a colour so if I said I didn't like the pink top and got a different top in the girls section I'd get "OH YOU'RE SO BLOODY UNGRATEFUL WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER." And she'd legit stomp out of the shop.
Looking back I'm like she wouldn't wear random clothes picked out for her, so why did she expect me to just like something randomly picked off the rack?! I never even went through any phases like emo or goth, I just wanted plain normal clothes that didn't make me look like an idiot.

iamnotalemon · 04/10/2025 21:52

Troublein · 04/10/2025 16:49

So many things.

Dropped me off to be raped so she could have some me time before I was even old enough for nursery.

Told everyone she knew in the entire world (literally rang people in Australia, all over Europe and the US to tell them as well as people in the UK) that I intentionally set a trap for my brother, causing him to trip over my foot and hit his head on the edge of some tiles in the kitchen which gave him a scar that needed stitches which is still visible 40+ years later.

I was miles away when it happened and I wasn't even ten years old.
At the same time, she was telling me that if a girl starts to bleed from between her legs it means she has made a pact with the Devil and would be going to hell.

Then there was the time she told a Life group I'd had an abortion.
I think I was about twelve then and hadn't even so much as held hands with a boy.

She didn't work for most of her life.
When I had a car accident and couldn't walk, she would leave me alone on the top floor of the house (it had 3 stories) without even a glass of water all day unless someone else was home.
No food, nothing to drink, no way to get to the bathroom for the first couple of months, nobody to change my bandages and dressings.
I had to learn to crawl to the bathroom.
I would lie there in agony, smelling food I had no way of reaching as it was 2 floors down.
Once my dad got home in the evening, she'd suddenly be popping up the stairs offering me a cup of coffee very loudly, bringing me food and spitting on it in front of me when nobody else could see.
As soon as it was just us (most of the time), back to nothing.
I was supposed to have been taken to therapy to learn to walk again, but she didn't do it.
Guess they didn't check up much in the 80s as nobody seemed to notice or care.

By 16/17, she was telling everyone, from family, parents of any child she thought was friendly towards me, even the milkman, the binmen and the Parish Priest that I was working as a prostitute on the weekends.
I was a virgin.

A guy wrote to her to ask for permission to propose to me.
She told him I was prostitute too and to pick someone else.

She sent one of my uncles around to the house I was living in when I was nearly 18 who dragged me out by the neck and took me to see a psychiatrist as she decided (no idea why) that I needed to be committed.
The psychiatrist told her my only problem was her and wanted to know why I had handprints around my neck (bruises didn't go away for weeks) and I was let go with no explanation of what me living in a shared house hundreds of miles away from her working in credit control had to do with being crazy.
She tried to get him struck off because he told her that she needed therapy and that he would refuse to treat her.

My oldest sons father died and I ended up having to live with my parents for a while after when my son was a year old or so.
I needed a job because of course I had to pay my way and she insisted I pay her for childcare.
She kept going into the local city centre, buying the most expensive versions of things like toys, baby clothes, pushchairs, a cot bed, a playpen, high chair then billing me, so I ended up having to sell stuff as she was charging me more than I earned in a decent paying job.
Then she began phoning me at work, screaming at me, lying and saying my child had been injured or was dead, telling me I'd destroyed her life and so on.
I was a wreck mentally.
Then, after a few months of that she contacted Social Services and told them I wanted to put my son up for adoption and making appointments for them to come out.
She sat there, a glass of whisky in hand (she drank a lot of whisky), telling them bollocks and they believed her.
I'd arrive back from work on more than one occasion to find Social Services there telling me that I asked for them and shoving paperwork under my nose to sign him over for adoption.
Eventually I cracked because I couldn't see any other way to get him away from her (I wasn't able to find accommodation for us) so I signed him away, telling them that it was the only way I could help him by getting him away from her as she was so toxic.
They didn't listen to me, she was way too convincing.

It broke me, I ended up homeless and suicidal and I have never got over it.
There was so much more manipulation and torture to it than that, but I was not even 20 years old and far too naïve.
I'd spent my life being told it was always me in the wrong and I still believed it.

But guess what, it was all part of her cunning plan.
She had decided that her own son was defective so she wanted mine as a do over.
She thought that she would get paid as a foster carer and that it was loads of money.
She did manage to get him placed with her after I'd left, but they didn't pay her anything and she resented it for the rest of her life.

When I found out she had him a few years later, I went back and she had destroyed him.
She'd fed him laxatives every day for years telling him he was constipated and he had no bowel control.
Once I was gone, she treated him like scum, always telling him he was rubbish that I had thrown away.
I got him away from her, taught him to brush his teeth, educated him, helped him fix his bowel issues but he was so broken he insisted on going back to her when he was a teenager.
She taught him to hate me and she told him it was all my idea to 'get rid of him'.

She cost me my childhood, my sanity and my oldest son.

Years later my ex asked my parents permission to marry me and she actually said "Why buy the cow when you have the milk for free?" to him.
My ex was so offended he wouldn't let her in the house.
She kept phoning up to ask if we were married yet because she didn't want to be financially responsible for paying my funeral costs (not sure why she thought I'd die before her).

She died a couple of months ago and I got a copy of her will last week.
She has left me a picture which she used to tell me was proof I was not part of 'her family' as she has written everyone elses name on the back (according to her God deletes my name if she puts it on there) and the rest of her very substantial estate goes to literally anyone but me.
Her will has been written in such a way that even if every other member of my family dies except me and my youngest son, it goes to a Catholic charity.
It says in her will that 'in the interests of fairness' I was given a fair share of her estate in 2023.
Everyone else is getting 5 bed houses (each), plus stocks and shares, cash, trust funds etc..
Even my nieces and nephew are getting several thousand in cash.

My youngest son is getting nothing too (he's only 15), presumably because he lives with me.

I got £3000 paid in with no explanation at the time just a tax year reference (she didn't speak to me from the day my father died in 2022, moved house, changed phone number, gave me no details so I couldn't have spoken to her even if I wanted to).
Guess that was my inheritance.

My sister has told everyone she can't understand why I wouldn't show up in black and mourn her because she has rewritten my mothers life as that of a saint.
My extended Irish family probably think I am awful for not being there.
I haven't seen any of them for over 20 years and they know absolutely nothing about my life unless it's rubbish made up by my mother.
As far as I'm concerned, they left me in a highly abusive situation and they can all fuck off and die.
Of the lot of them, only my Auntie Phil ever cared about me and she died many many years ago.

There is so much more, it's all a jumble and I keep remembering more random bits.
But I think she definitely qualifies as batshit crazy.

I’m so sorry you were treated like this x

suburberphobe · 04/10/2025 21:55

God, these stories are horrendous and I want to give each and every one of you a hug.

Candypatthongworn · 04/10/2025 22:20

Told me I had spoiled a family holiday by getting a kidney infection aged 14 .
Threw a rage when my friend was staying because she declined a tomato sandwich - she really hated tomatoes but mother made a massive scene but friend was visibly shocked( her own family were so warm & lovely)
Refused to let me borrow one of her many dresses when I was a poor student and going to a wedding
Went through my handbag when I was around 19/20
Phoned me the day before my wedding to say she didn’t like the church flowers I had bought and chosen
At aged 35 when I announced I was pregnant ( married 11 years at this point) asked me ‘Was it planned?’
Didnt buy me Christmas presents for several years as an expensive and thoughtful gift I had sent her ‘Was cheap tat’
And many many more - it’s taken me to aged nearly 60 to realise it wasn’t me that was the problem…..

ToadRage · 04/10/2025 22:22

When i left home my Mum told me I'd be back in two months broke, single and miserable, 15 years later i am thriving, married and happier than i ever was when i lived with her.

She literally binned/flogged/charity shopped a load of my stuff (some sentimental value) when she left my childhood home and moved in with her boyfriend, she did even ask or give me the chance to come and get them beforehand.

Didn't give me the choice at 16 to be tested for the genetic disorder that i now have, effectively removing my chance at motherhood.

When i told her i was engaged her response was 'and?' I had waited 9 years for this and was thrilled.

She told me if i didn't lose a lot of weight i would look like a fat pig on my wedding day. She called me bridezilla cos i wanted proper professional flowers for my wedding not stuff from her garden.

At my wedding she kicked up a fuss cos she wasn't sat next to her boyfriend, (she was on top table, he was not), she complained about our first dance cos the song had the word Fuck in it, she didn't like either of our cake toppers; one was cute a pair or bride and groom skeletons (cos my husband was an undertaker) and the other said Fucking finally (cos this was in 2023 when we had originally planned for 2020). She told my mother-in-law that she doesn't like my husband.

She doesn't like my house, cos its not old and crumbling (interesting-her words) like hers, she doesn't like where i live cos its not in the middle of nowhere like hers. She thinks her way and her things are better than everyone else's, if someone doesn't do, say or have things that she does they are branded 'common'. She is an incredible snob!

Fullon123 · 04/10/2025 22:30

Not my mum but my MIL came to visit me in hospital literally a few hours after I'd had my first baby (large baby, no pain relief, quite traumatic, I was quite young also) and the first thing she said was how I looked awfull and pale and needed to put some makeup on 🙄

Lemintonic · 04/10/2025 22:55

All I ever wanted to do was act. I had so many opportunities to do so professionally but she stopped me every time. Every play I was in , she would come and hide her face because I was 'showing off', telling everyone how 'embarrassing' it was
I'm now in my 60s and doing it again - obviously in an amateur way and I know she'd be horrified if she was still alive.
I'm so sad she could never be proud of me or happy with me.

SorryNotSorry00 · 04/10/2025 23:26

Genuineweddingone · 04/10/2025 14:57

God where do you start....

I ended my toxic marriage and was told I was a loser because I have a failed marriage. My parents had been split up over 10 years at this point as she left for another man.

I was invited to a wedding but money was tight and I tried on a dress she had. It fit perfectly but she said she would have it dry cleaned for me. The day before the wedding I went to her place to get the dress, nobody home so I rang her and she told me she had decided to go away for the weekend and took the dress with her.

My passport and drivers licence were out of date and cousins husband had died and I wanted to fly out to be there for the funeral. Mother 'helpfully' said she would send in my passport renewal forms for me. Never did and she also stole my drivers licence renewal so I couldnt go. She then flew over herself and told everyone I was not there as I never liked my cousins husband.

Was really rude and racially abusive to a staff member in a cafe and was ranting about it in the car so I pulled over and ordered her out of the car. She then screamed 'I have cancer and it's all your fault' before slamming the door of car. She did not have cancer, she never even had been tested or ill.

Went into a rage one day when I was off getting hair and makeup done for a night out with friends at the races. I had a glass of wine getting my makeup done but as she was in my home to babysit anyway it made no difference but she hated that I was having fun so she got down on her knees in front of my then 4 year old, looked him in the eye and told him Mammy doesnt love you. I then told her to get out of my home, I did not go out that night in the end and she slipped on the train and told everyone I had hit her.

Rang my sons school and told them he was being mistreated at home and i had just gotten a diagnosis that made me an unfit mother. I am in Ireland, had just gotten an adhd diagnosis and the school had to involve Tusla, our child protective services about it. My poor child was embarassed in his school and in front of his teachers. It was the final nail in the coffin. Shes done many many other things though too.

I am so sorry this all happened. I can’t imagine how it must have been trying to explain this to Tusla 😔

Somethinglikethat12 · 04/10/2025 23:49

When I fled domestic violence (with nothing but the clothes I was wearing) and tried to seek safety at my parents.
My father asked me what I’d done to annoy my (now Ex) husband to the point he held a knife against my neck and kicked me in the head.
Same incident- my mother saying the whole situation was too stressful for her and asked me to leave immediately and go and stay in a hotel.

SorryNotSorry00 · 05/10/2025 00:08

Mine is nowhere near as serious as many of the posts on here and I’m so sorry you’ve gone through such trauma and abuse. It’s taken me a long time to see the extent of the dysfunction in my own family despite knowing certain things weren’t right even as a child.

Despite my mum having OCD I was strictly controlled when it came to personal hygiene. I was only allowed to take a bath once a week (we didn’t have a shower) and it became twice a week when I was a teenager. However not being allowed to wash myself became a punishment for “acting out” and I felt forced to wash my hair in particular, in secret at times because I had very oily skin and scalp. When it would be discovered there would be war, I would be accused of dressing up “for somebody” and having a boyfriend (this wasn’t allowed even at 18).

My mum told me she “dreamed I was with a black man” 😵‍💫 once and that young kids outside told her things. I’ve no idea where this came from. She wrote to the agony aunt section in the Catholic paper which was available at our church, for advice on me reading “pornographic material” when I was 13. It was the teen magazine Sugar, which amongst other things had articles and info on contraception and relationships. I took a copy of the newspaper to read one day and there was no doubt by the wording and identifying details that it was her, this came after her confiscating my stash of same magazine a few weeks previously.

My parents split up when I was a child and I remember being confused and depressed after this. My mum would shout the words “juvenile delinquent” into my face after each and every argument for a period after this, I was 10/11 at the time. She also told me many times since then that if she could start her life all over again that she’d never have kids. It was hard growing up being compared negatively to my older brother who was “no trouble”. Both my parents favoured him openly at times and it led to a lot of resentment.

I was once told that I was “lucky that I was never molested” this came when I tried to tell her the effect that her and my father’s behaviour had on me growing up. I in fact was molested by a family friend, but can never tell her. I was constantly reminded of how she walked me to school, read me bedtime stories and cooked a dinner every day like it was my fault for being born.

I was hit on the head with a long piece of metal when I was 7, by a 12 year old boy living in our street. My parents did nothing, even when his older sister came to the house screaming abuse. It wasn’t that they were afraid, the neighbours knew my father had a filthy temper. They didn’t even get me checked out by a doctor despite being in pain. Was finally diagnosed with asthma at 8 and a half, after getting breathless regularly when walking from the age of 5 -especially in winter. Until that point it was assumed I was making things up.

My brother used to hit me as a child and up to 13 (he was almost a decade older) and was never corrected. The last time it “was my fault because I refused to lend him £20”.

AzureCats · 05/10/2025 02:22

She used to make us sit cross legged on the floor next to her chair for hours without moving. And if we even breathed too much she'd hit us around the head.

She used to beat my older siblings with a belt at night time and make them scream in pain. This was in a terraced house in the 90s. I can't imagine listening to that as a neighbour and not doing anything.

I often got hit on the bottom as a young child for absolutely nothing.

One night as a teenager I woke up and got up too quickly and fainted on the way to the bathroom. As I fell I pulled a rack of clothes and furniture on top of me and was pinned underneath. She came in bedroom and accused me of drinking and left me there. I hadn't been at all. I had to wait until my head stopped spinning and ease myself out from under all the stuff.

Fucking bitch I'm glad you're dead and I went no contact prior. You literally died alone despite your multiple unplanned and unwanted children that were meant to serve your every whim.

ColinVsCuthbert · 05/10/2025 04:07

I told my mum my other half (first serious relationship, I was 19) had been physically violent and pinned me against a wall by my neck while drunk. I said I thought I should break up with him. Her response was that I shouldn’t as he was obviously depressed and might kill himself . I stayed for 6 more months wondering every night if it was a one off. I look back now as a mum to a daughter and shudder at that awful conversation. She claims to have no recollection of it ever taking place.

Ihopeithinkiknow · 05/10/2025 05:21

@Troublein She wasn’t batshit crazy at all she was a first class cunt and I’m sorry you went through that xx

Sunshinedayscomeon · 05/10/2025 06:32

Here's goes:

Blaming me for social services keeping track off her (I was baby, that she tried to drown me).

Blaming my me for my son's mental health crisis. Appartently I'm not social enough and my job (healthcare professional) is to blame.

Always commenting on my weight, saying I was fat and ugly. Insisting I was weighed in public places.

Throwing plates/knives at me for making a mess in the kitchen.

Blaming me for my nan's death - my choice of boyfriend caused my nan to die.

As a child/teenager, I thought it was normal for your mum to go in your room and throw all your stuff in the middle of the room or out of the window. Then threaten to throw it all out if you didn't tidy it up.

Pricelessadvice · 05/10/2025 06:50

I’ve read this thread in horror.
My parents got some things wrong (we are all only human after all), but I can’t believe the awful treatment some of you have gone through.

I don’t have kids, but it’s always bandied about that a mother’s love for a child is like nothing else and if you don’t have kids, you wouldn’t understand that love.
Frankly, I call BS on that. If that was the case, there wouldn’t be this amount of stories of abhorrent behaviour from parents towards their own children. If this is a small selection on a forum, imagine how much of this is happening worldwide.

I count myself the luckiest person in the world to have my parents. I just wish some of you could have had that same love and support because I’m truly quite traumatised by some of the things you have all been through.

Best wishes to you all x

User37482 · 05/10/2025 06:57

My mother tried to make me quit my a-levels and get a job, she sent me in to return my books. My teachers refused to take them god bless them. I was at grammar school, top set, woman just had an irrational hatred of me. Theres a lot more, trying to make me walk on a broken ankle, refusing to call an ambulance when I overdosed, woke up covered in my own puke.

Some of you though, your parents belong in hell.

Missey85 · 05/10/2025 07:25

My mum told me I deserved to be raped when I was 13 I left home the next day and never spoke to her again she's dead now and hopefully rotting in hell somewhere 🙁

Crimble123 · 05/10/2025 07:30

Genuineweddingone · 04/10/2025 14:57

God where do you start....

I ended my toxic marriage and was told I was a loser because I have a failed marriage. My parents had been split up over 10 years at this point as she left for another man.

I was invited to a wedding but money was tight and I tried on a dress she had. It fit perfectly but she said she would have it dry cleaned for me. The day before the wedding I went to her place to get the dress, nobody home so I rang her and she told me she had decided to go away for the weekend and took the dress with her.

My passport and drivers licence were out of date and cousins husband had died and I wanted to fly out to be there for the funeral. Mother 'helpfully' said she would send in my passport renewal forms for me. Never did and she also stole my drivers licence renewal so I couldnt go. She then flew over herself and told everyone I was not there as I never liked my cousins husband.

Was really rude and racially abusive to a staff member in a cafe and was ranting about it in the car so I pulled over and ordered her out of the car. She then screamed 'I have cancer and it's all your fault' before slamming the door of car. She did not have cancer, she never even had been tested or ill.

Went into a rage one day when I was off getting hair and makeup done for a night out with friends at the races. I had a glass of wine getting my makeup done but as she was in my home to babysit anyway it made no difference but she hated that I was having fun so she got down on her knees in front of my then 4 year old, looked him in the eye and told him Mammy doesnt love you. I then told her to get out of my home, I did not go out that night in the end and she slipped on the train and told everyone I had hit her.

Rang my sons school and told them he was being mistreated at home and i had just gotten a diagnosis that made me an unfit mother. I am in Ireland, had just gotten an adhd diagnosis and the school had to involve Tusla, our child protective services about it. My poor child was embarassed in his school and in front of his teachers. It was the final nail in the coffin. Shes done many many other things though too.

Im so sorry you had to go through all that. That really is complete bats*it crazy! Im guessing this was her narc rage?

OP posts:
Crimble123 · 05/10/2025 07:39

GreyCarpet · 04/10/2025 15:34

I had a fragile relationship with my brother due to her and her triangulation.

Same.

My mother is one of the biggest misogynists I've ever encountered.

She maintained that all marriages failed because of women and, where men behaved badly, it was only because a woman had driven him to it.

Anyway, my dad had an affair when I was 17 and they split up. She screamed (and, yes, it was a scream and not a mumsnet scream 😉) at me in public that I was the "whore who drove your father into the arms of another woman."

She made me homeless, tried to get SS involved when i had my son, and spent my childhood telling me there was something wrong with me and threatening to involve 'child psychiatrists'. She never did and I was finally seen by what I suppose was CAMHS then when I was 17. I had two sessions and then she cancelled because they suggested a family session. But the narrative that I was mentally unstable continued - hence trying to involve social services. When I was 30, a clinical psychologist told me that there was nothing wrong with me that a bit of distance from her wouldn't solve.

It was endless.

Anyway, we finally went nc with her because we were forced to involve the police about something, SS became briefly involved (Initial Assessment) and we went NC as a result.

My marriage broke down as a result of the stress of everything and he was probably the most supportive ex husband ever for those first years because he didn't want me to ever be in a situation where reinstating contact felt like my only option.

When I read threads on here about going nc with family and some people dismiss issues as 'a falling out', I just think that some people have no idea!

This is awful. I hope you've found peace now shes not in your life.
Absolutely alot of people irl don't get it. They think you're being over dramatic or that you must have done something too.
That's why I wanted to create the thread to share all the crazy things said/done because we all understand and can relate to alot of it too.

OP posts:
Crimble123 · 05/10/2025 07:46

iamnotalemon · 04/10/2025 16:17

Had food/dinner tipped over our heads. I was given a black eye by parent. Emotional abuse. Breaking or smashing our possessions.

Only as an adult I realise these aren’t normal things.

Sending love to you. Im really sorry you were put through that Flowers

OP posts:
Cakeandcardio · 05/10/2025 07:47

BleuBella · 04/10/2025 09:01

Having my underwear examined as a teen to see if I was having sex .

Being told as a student that as I contributed nothing to the household budget I could only bath once a week, couldn’t use heated rollers as they sucked up electricity and couldn’t help myself to a biscuit because I didn’t pay in .

Mother telling me that they wished my cousin was their daughter and they would swap now if they could . Telling my boyfriend that this cousin was worth ten of me .

After my mum died when I was a student my dad told me I had to start paying digs. I wasn't sure what with as I was using my student loan and wages to buy books and clothes etc. So I upped and left and struggled without him which was better than staying at home and struggling anyway. He told everyone I was always wanting to leave home. What a dick

RedSkyatNight25 · 05/10/2025 07:52

pincklop · 04/10/2025 07:09

Had a baby before married , so was told ‘ I’m going to hell’ …. More annoyingly after a few years other people have babies without being married and it’s not a problem anymore, god has changed his mind 😥

Same with my MIL, was awful when me and (now) DH did but my BIL and his girlfriend have, with no intentions to marry and it’s all forgiven now.

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