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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Things our toxic parents have done/said that is bats*it crazy

186 replies

Crimble123 · 04/10/2025 07:02

I thought id start a thread away from stately homes where we can just list the things our toxic parents have done that other people would be horrified about but for us its a long list of things that were seen as "normal" to our parents.
I can laugh about alot of them now, obviously at the time not so funny. Just thought some light hearted dark humour of these things would help people not feel so alone and make us laugh a little in a rubbish situation I.e toxic parents.

As I previously mentioned on the stately homes board. I once brought my mum an orchid as a gift for her birthday. She moaned about it as thats not her 'usual' type of plant she likes.
Anyway she had it for a few months. In this time she kept commenting how it looked fake. One day there was no plant and I asked what had happened. They crazy woman how chopped it up as she was convinced it wasn't real. So she just chopped my gift up that wasn't a cheap purchase either. No remorse for destroying the gift I got her either.

I received a call to move into a womens refuge almost 10 years ago away from abusive ex. My mum said to me "its not that bad is it" I think i stood with my mouth wide up and said they don't just offer refuge places for anyone.

There's many more but I cant think right now. Would be good to hear some of yours?

OP posts:
Lemintonic · 04/10/2025 16:19

Adding more as well! My mother loathed any women around her age who had husbands - she was widowed when I was very small and never remarried (also my fault - 'who would take you on'?) Anyway, if there was ever a friend, or even someone in the public eye talking about being depressed she would be furious - 'How dare they?! They have husbands and money and a nice house. They should try being ME'
She was soo bitter and angry - all me and my sisters' fault for being born basically.

Lemintonic · 04/10/2025 16:21

I was a failure as well as I never became a Teacher or a secretary - respectable jobs - nice girls didn't work in social service type jobs with those awful people pretending to be poor. 'They can afford tellies cant they?'
I can't even mention the 30 plus major, unnecessary, surgeries I was forced to have so everyone would sorry for her.

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 04/10/2025 16:23

When my baby brother died, my dad said it was my fault. I was three.

My mum didn't tell me about this until she gleefully announced it with no warning when she and my dad divorced twenty two years later, as a point scoring thing. Then she was incredulous that I cut contact with him (and acted like a martyr for continuing to have contact with him despite having divorced), and then even more incredulous when I cut contact with her.

My dad regularly threatened to kill himself in front of us and would just randomly vanish and need the police calling. He got sectioned the day before my GCSE physics exam, so I spent the evening sorting out things that needed to be sorted (I was 15), fixing the home broadband and consoling my siblings. When I failed my exam the next day they were angry at me.

I was diagnosed with a brain tumour and rather than reassure me or even reassure DD who was 8 at the time, she and her new partner (5 years younger than me) sat there and made jokes about dying at my expense.

Then within a week she was certain that she had a brain tumour, her partner had a brain tumour, kept making comments like "we dont have much luck in this family!" - at no point was there any support or reassurance, just jealousy and wanting desperately to be more ill than me.

This is all v identifying and I know she has frequented MN in the past so hello 👋 and if you're still pretending this has all come out of nowhere, here are a few of the many reasons why we don't talk!

Genuineweddingone · 04/10/2025 16:27

Oh mine is very identifying too which is why I only have this name for anything mother/family related. If any of them come across my posts well if you wanted to be talked about better then maybe ye should have treated me better.

Genuineweddingone · 04/10/2025 16:29

Oh this is one she did on my cousin not even me. Her brother was a shit father to his kids and after he died and their mum died she told the youngest of their kids who was an adult by then that she wasnt sure her brother was this cousins real father. I mean it is horseshit, the cousin looks very much like the rest of us but even if true why would you bring it up after they were dead ffs. Shitestirrer is all that woman is.

Namechangedgorthis91 · 04/10/2025 16:29

My mum has done so many mental things, even though it was her behaviour... I still feel ashamed if I ever talk about her behaviour, because it's so crazy I feel like people wouldn't believe me

When I was maybe 9 and 11 I randomly had 2 seizures. Both times I was with my dad ( paremts seperated ) and both times I was taken to hospital in an ambulance, still having a seizures.

I'd had follow up appointments at the hospital with my mum And tbh I can't remember why they said they happened or what caused them but it was obviously on my record that I was still having a fit when I was brought in

My mum used to say to me when we were at home that I made it up for attention, weird how I'd only ever done it around her and not my dad. I was just a nasty attention seeker. I remember crying to her and saying but the hospital told you what happened

As an adult I asked her why she did that to me and it really caught her off guard. She made up am excuse about my dad saying I'd stopped breathing so that made her doubt the whole story but when I questioned the follow up appointment tents at the hospital she just changed subject

I was NC with her for 6 years due to her behaviour and we ended up back in contact for around 18 months a year o so ago ( I'm nc again now and will remain so )

And during those 18 months she constantly left my son out whilst favouring my daughter and really tried her hardest to alienate my daughter from me

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 04/10/2025 16:29

Oh, and another one (sorry for the essay, this is therapeutic!).

When DD was about 9, I told DH that I was really pleased she was better behaved than me and we hadn't had to keep her up into the early hours telling her off. He was absolutely incredulous. That's when I realised that keeping a 7 / 8 year old awake way into the early hours to berate her until she couldn't take it any more (over things like a messy room or an argument with a sibling) wasn't just normal parenting things and I wouldn't be expected to do it with DD. That one took a lot of deconstructing; the amount of self hatred those nights generated in me. It continued through pretty much until I left for uni.

CautiousLurker01 · 04/10/2025 16:45

When I was a teenager my mum told me that if they ever legalised retrospective abortion, she’d take me to the front of the queue.

Other than that she was a great mum. Not.

Hubblebubble · 04/10/2025 16:48

I told her how her ex had touched me inappropriately when I was a child. I couldn't remember how old I was exactly, but I remembered the house. She immediately minimised by saying I turned 16 there, I must have been 16, so I wasn't a child. She then victim blamed me by asking why I didn't tell her.

Troublein · 04/10/2025 16:49

So many things.

Dropped me off to be raped so she could have some me time before I was even old enough for nursery.

Told everyone she knew in the entire world (literally rang people in Australia, all over Europe and the US to tell them as well as people in the UK) that I intentionally set a trap for my brother, causing him to trip over my foot and hit his head on the edge of some tiles in the kitchen which gave him a scar that needed stitches which is still visible 40+ years later.

I was miles away when it happened and I wasn't even ten years old.
At the same time, she was telling me that if a girl starts to bleed from between her legs it means she has made a pact with the Devil and would be going to hell.

Then there was the time she told a Life group I'd had an abortion.
I think I was about twelve then and hadn't even so much as held hands with a boy.

She didn't work for most of her life.
When I had a car accident and couldn't walk, she would leave me alone on the top floor of the house (it had 3 stories) without even a glass of water all day unless someone else was home.
No food, nothing to drink, no way to get to the bathroom for the first couple of months, nobody to change my bandages and dressings.
I had to learn to crawl to the bathroom.
I would lie there in agony, smelling food I had no way of reaching as it was 2 floors down.
Once my dad got home in the evening, she'd suddenly be popping up the stairs offering me a cup of coffee very loudly, bringing me food and spitting on it in front of me when nobody else could see.
As soon as it was just us (most of the time), back to nothing.
I was supposed to have been taken to therapy to learn to walk again, but she didn't do it.
Guess they didn't check up much in the 80s as nobody seemed to notice or care.

By 16/17, she was telling everyone, from family, parents of any child she thought was friendly towards me, even the milkman, the binmen and the Parish Priest that I was working as a prostitute on the weekends.
I was a virgin.

A guy wrote to her to ask for permission to propose to me.
She told him I was prostitute too and to pick someone else.

She sent one of my uncles around to the house I was living in when I was nearly 18 who dragged me out by the neck and took me to see a psychiatrist as she decided (no idea why) that I needed to be committed.
The psychiatrist told her my only problem was her and wanted to know why I had handprints around my neck (bruises didn't go away for weeks) and I was let go with no explanation of what me living in a shared house hundreds of miles away from her working in credit control had to do with being crazy.
She tried to get him struck off because he told her that she needed therapy and that he would refuse to treat her.

My oldest sons father died and I ended up having to live with my parents for a while after when my son was a year old or so.
I needed a job because of course I had to pay my way and she insisted I pay her for childcare.
She kept going into the local city centre, buying the most expensive versions of things like toys, baby clothes, pushchairs, a cot bed, a playpen, high chair then billing me, so I ended up having to sell stuff as she was charging me more than I earned in a decent paying job.
Then she began phoning me at work, screaming at me, lying and saying my child had been injured or was dead, telling me I'd destroyed her life and so on.
I was a wreck mentally.
Then, after a few months of that she contacted Social Services and told them I wanted to put my son up for adoption and making appointments for them to come out.
She sat there, a glass of whisky in hand (she drank a lot of whisky), telling them bollocks and they believed her.
I'd arrive back from work on more than one occasion to find Social Services there telling me that I asked for them and shoving paperwork under my nose to sign him over for adoption.
Eventually I cracked because I couldn't see any other way to get him away from her (I wasn't able to find accommodation for us) so I signed him away, telling them that it was the only way I could help him by getting him away from her as she was so toxic.
They didn't listen to me, she was way too convincing.

It broke me, I ended up homeless and suicidal and I have never got over it.
There was so much more manipulation and torture to it than that, but I was not even 20 years old and far too naïve.
I'd spent my life being told it was always me in the wrong and I still believed it.

But guess what, it was all part of her cunning plan.
She had decided that her own son was defective so she wanted mine as a do over.
She thought that she would get paid as a foster carer and that it was loads of money.
She did manage to get him placed with her after I'd left, but they didn't pay her anything and she resented it for the rest of her life.

When I found out she had him a few years later, I went back and she had destroyed him.
She'd fed him laxatives every day for years telling him he was constipated and he had no bowel control.
Once I was gone, she treated him like scum, always telling him he was rubbish that I had thrown away.
I got him away from her, taught him to brush his teeth, educated him, helped him fix his bowel issues but he was so broken he insisted on going back to her when he was a teenager.
She taught him to hate me and she told him it was all my idea to 'get rid of him'.

She cost me my childhood, my sanity and my oldest son.

Years later my ex asked my parents permission to marry me and she actually said "Why buy the cow when you have the milk for free?" to him.
My ex was so offended he wouldn't let her in the house.
She kept phoning up to ask if we were married yet because she didn't want to be financially responsible for paying my funeral costs (not sure why she thought I'd die before her).

She died a couple of months ago and I got a copy of her will last week.
She has left me a picture which she used to tell me was proof I was not part of 'her family' as she has written everyone elses name on the back (according to her God deletes my name if she puts it on there) and the rest of her very substantial estate goes to literally anyone but me.
Her will has been written in such a way that even if every other member of my family dies except me and my youngest son, it goes to a Catholic charity.
It says in her will that 'in the interests of fairness' I was given a fair share of her estate in 2023.
Everyone else is getting 5 bed houses (each), plus stocks and shares, cash, trust funds etc..
Even my nieces and nephew are getting several thousand in cash.

My youngest son is getting nothing too (he's only 15), presumably because he lives with me.

I got £3000 paid in with no explanation at the time just a tax year reference (she didn't speak to me from the day my father died in 2022, moved house, changed phone number, gave me no details so I couldn't have spoken to her even if I wanted to).
Guess that was my inheritance.

My sister has told everyone she can't understand why I wouldn't show up in black and mourn her because she has rewritten my mothers life as that of a saint.
My extended Irish family probably think I am awful for not being there.
I haven't seen any of them for over 20 years and they know absolutely nothing about my life unless it's rubbish made up by my mother.
As far as I'm concerned, they left me in a highly abusive situation and they can all fuck off and die.
Of the lot of them, only my Auntie Phil ever cared about me and she died many many years ago.

There is so much more, it's all a jumble and I keep remembering more random bits.
But I think she definitely qualifies as batshit crazy.

dumberthanaboxofrocks · 04/10/2025 17:07

pincklop · 04/10/2025 07:09

Had a baby before married , so was told ‘ I’m going to hell’ …. More annoyingly after a few years other people have babies without being married and it’s not a problem anymore, god has changed his mind 😥

Ahh…love the revisionism. Apparently now the most important thing in life for young people nowadays …is to be happy. That made my jaw drop. I can only assume the possibility of not being miserable wandered across the radar at some time in the last decade😬. And the wild religiosity about sex before marriage, homosexuality is a choice, there’s no such thing as divorce, absolutist stance on abortion. Authoritarian on career choice, exam results, the word fulfilment had zero meaning. ‘It’s all different now’ apparently.

So glad for us though, that we were able to live when it wasn’t different and thereby run the fiery gauntlet of judgement through our vulnerable young lives! Characters built to fuck 😂

Flossflower · 04/10/2025 17:16

A lot of these posts have brought up memories for me. I am LC with my mother as is my sister. I am sorry but I don’t really care that much about her.
A few years ago I went to a funeral. After the speeches from all the friends saying what a great guy he was, came the speeches from his children, listing his faults. I thought fair enough. Am I brave enough to do this!

Genuineweddingone · 04/10/2025 17:17

@Troublein I am so so sorry you had to endure all of that I really am.

GreyPearlSatin · 04/10/2025 17:47

My mom was visiting me one day and instead of going out we decided to cook a meal together. I didn't have all the ingredients so I said I would go to the store. Trip took less than an hour. When I came home she had rearranged everything in my kitchen cupboards. I couldn't find anything the next week, till the weekend when I finally had time to rearrange the cupboards back to the way I had them.

I mean, who does that in someone else's house, even if the house belongs to your adult child? She was never happy with the way I cleaned and organized my things at home. I still struggle with being clean and organized, because I learned as a child that there was no point, since it was never good enough and I always felt like I was cleaning up for her sake instead of my own.

Achewyhamster · 04/10/2025 17:49

Shortbread49 · 04/10/2025 16:10

Yes mine sabotaged my education at 11, 16 and 18 I had realised this by 18 and hated that her only daughter was cleverer than her beloved sons . At 16 I was told I was going to secretarial college , I told my teacher and she laughed as she said why, you are going to pass all your exams. I said no got ignored for a week and then she has taken no interest in me since ( for 38 years 🤣)

Mine refused to allow me to go to college as 'we can't afford it' (money was there for my brothers to go,along with driving lessons/tests/cars but not a penny spare for me)

Anyway,I got to 34 and thought 'fuck it' and applied

Never in a million years did i think they'd accept me,but they did!

I worked damn hard to fund myself through the course

I passed every single exam and passed the course with flying colours (go me!)

She couldn't bear this as she'd started a similar course herself and lost interest and my brothers all dropped out of their courses

She tried everything she could think of to stop/sabotage me doing it

She told everybody i'd doled out blow jobs and other sexual favours to my tutors so they'd pass me

(The fact that all my tutors where female passed her by)

When people started to get bored of hearing this,she started up with 'id always wanted to do that course and hamster knew it-she just had to steal my thunder'

Utter bollocks

thepariscrimefiles · 04/10/2025 17:56

Achewyhamster · 04/10/2025 15:25

Trigger warning

Shes said/done a lot but the worst one was when I was raped by a 'friend'

She found out and looked me in the eye and asked 'what did you do to lead him on?'

She then dined out on it with her friends for weeks until her (lovely) friend told her to stop as 'maybe hamster needs some support'

My mother laughed and said 'nah,she didnt realise she'd been raped until the cheque bounced'

She then contacted him as it was going to court and sat in 'his' part of the gallery,fully supporting him and cheered as he was found not guilty and walked free

It's a mystery to her why I went nc

WTAF! I've read about some toxic and abusive parents on here, but this is one of the worst things I've ever heard on here.

I'm so glad that you no longer see her. I hope she dies a lonely old woman.

Dragonfly97 · 04/10/2025 18:18

Asked my dad why he hadn't phoned to see how I was after a colonoscopy under general anaesthetic ( after a lifetime of him demanding attention for the slightest thing) to be told he couldn't remember "every little thing". At least i know where i stand with him now.

Dragonfly97 · 04/10/2025 18:36

My mum casually saying "I'd have been happy if I'd had a boy". She had 3 daughters but we all felt like a burden.

Dragonfly97 · 04/10/2025 18:41

My mum snapping at me "you're easy!" When I politely explained I would be staying at my boyfriend's that night and going to work from there as it was easier. I was mid 20s at the time.

IShouldNotCoco · 04/10/2025 18:56

ChristmasFluff · 04/10/2025 15:09

This is one that we laugh about now, but actually, it is so dark.

Me and my sister called to my mum in the night, cos sister was feeling sick. Mum told us to shut up, but sister didn't - cos she was feeling sick.

So Mum came in and yanked her out of bed by her arm and started smacking her. Sister started vomiting, but that didn't put mum off, except to make her start dragging sister to the bathroom, smacking her as she went.

Every smack created a another spew of vomit. I'll never forget that picture as long as I live.

My sister was about 4 at the time.

Edited

How evil. Like a lot of the experiences on this thread. I’m sorry people.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 04/10/2025 18:57

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 04/10/2025 12:33

God there are so many. Some of the more outrageous things from my mum:

I asked her if she wanted to come and visit my cousin, who had just had a baby. She wrinkled her nose and said "No, I find babies so boring." I laughed and said something like I was surprised I'd survived into adulthood when she was so un-maternal. She sat on that for a while, then later said "You really hurt me with that comment. If you must know, it's because I'm so sad to know I'll never be a grandmother." I said... "You ARE a grandmother!" My son, who is adopted, was 15 then. She said "Well, he doesn't really count, does he."

After yet another one of her relationships had broken up, she told me in all seriousness that she'd seen a documentary about how men's brains naturally made them aggressive, and that she thought all boy children should be tested for aggression age 7 and lobotomized if they didn't pass a test. When I said "Alright Dr Mengele" she got offended.

When I was about 2yrs old, several times she pretended to fall down the stairs and lie there faking unconsciousness while I cried and tried to wake her up. I'm not sure how long she let it go on for before she "woke" - in my memory it was hours but perhaps it was only a minute or two. Her explanation was that she was making sure I'd know what to do if there was a genuine accident.

I honestly had no idea that one wasn't normal - I think because I was SO young - that I only realised when I mentioned it in passing at work one day and everyone looked at me horrified.

In common with many on this thread, she was insanely competitive over body size. I was alternately fat-shamed, then when I lost weight I would tip over a certain line in her head to being competition, and I would be told I was "getting much too skinny".

=========== TRIGGER WARNING S/A ==========
My dad abused me for over two years. My mum knew but her only attempt at safe guarding was to tell him not to do it again. Guess how well that worked?

Unsurprisingly in my teens I was suicidal, traumatised, PTSD, some days I just couldn't speak out loud. She would shout into my face, shake me, and then ask what was I crying for, I had nothing to complain of and as long as I was a virgin then nothing had really happened.

When I eventually disclosed to a teacher what had happened, social services got involved etc and my dad was made to leave the house. He divorced my mum for unreasonable behaviour (!) This meant our nice comfortable lifestyle dissolved as he didn't pay a penny in maintenance and he paid her the bare minimum in the settlement.

After we'd moved (yeah he kept the house) one day I said something in passing about the new house - I think it was along the lines of "I keep forgetting this fridge opens the other side to our old one." My mum said "Well. Don't blame me. Because we are in this house because of YOUR SELFISHNESS. Don't you dare complain about it because YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. Your dad is gone and now we have no money so I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY."

She once asked me "why complain to the teacher now, he hadn't touched you for a year or so, it could all have been forgotten" (tell my PTSD that, please!) I said to her that it was because I could see he had started grooming my younger sister in exactly the same way he had me. She snorted and said "Don't be so ridiculous, he doesn't even like your sister, she annoys him."

Decades later she ended up moving in with me as she couldn't afford to pay her mortgage. I started dating someone new and the first time he slept over he woke up early so wandered down to the kitchen to get a brew. She spent an hour talking to him starting off with "I think there's some things you should know about Vex..." - told him about my dad abusing me (her version, obviously, where she'd sacrificed everything to protect me and my sister.) He came back upstairs a bit shell-shocked and he later said to me "Your mum is so bitter against you." I was still so deep in the fog then that I sat there and defended her to him!

Strangely - or not - the physical and sexual abuse from my dad was easier in many ways to get over (thanks to lots of therapy) than the emotional abuse from my mum. Because the abuse was tangible. It was something I could say "yes that happened and it was obviously very wrong." But emotional abuse is so hard to see for what it is, because it's always there, it's woven into the fabric of your relationship and it just feels like reality. My mum died earlier this year and I've started therapy anew. I've only now come to realise how the abuse from my mum has shaped almost every part of my life and behaviours.

😥 hope you find your true self soon honey
🫂 💐 xx

Tamfs · 04/10/2025 19:02

GreyCarpet · 04/10/2025 10:21

Ooh, one of the more light hearted ones...

My mum bought my bras for me as a teen. I wasn't told or taught how to measure myself so she did it. She told me what size I was.

Eventually, I was the same size as her (34B). When those bras stopped fitting me properly, she made me feel that it was because my body was wrong. It wasn't her fault or the shops' fault that those bras didn't fit me properly. It was mine.

She would tell me all the time that my boobs were small, too small and that I'd never get married or find a boyfriend because my boobs were too small. I didn't have the confidence to think I needed a bigger size because bra size (evidently) carried a value judgement for her (and therefore me) and I wasnt 'good enough' generally to need a bigger size.

So I spent hours trying on 34B bras and crying because they didn't fit. I'd spent so long being told my boobs were "too small", it didn't even occur to me to try a bigger size.

She even joked about it with her boyfriend when I was late teens that she had better/bigger boobs than me and suggested on one occasion that he see them au naturel and compare them to say whose were 'best'.

I just accepted this and that she was right (such is the nature of long term emotional abuse) and just believed I couldn't find bras to fit me because my body was the wrong shape for bras.

When I finally had my size measured properly, I was a 34DD.

She just couldn't cope with the idea that I had bigger boobs than she did.

She also told me all through my teens that I was fat and too fat. She'd buy me clothes that were too big for me which then hung badly and didn't fit properly and she told me that it was because I was so fat nothing would look good on me and it was my own fault for being fat.

I wasn't fat. I was just a different shape to her and curvy but I didn't have an ounce of fat on me in reality.

But I also spent years planning where I was going to sit in pubs, restaurants etc so that I could get to the bar/toilets easily without either a) being seen by others or b) bumping into things and sending people flying with my body. In reality, I was 8 stone by 18 and stayed that way until my mid 30s when I was 9 stone.

I just couldn't see it.

This one really stood out to me as my mum also used to mess around with what bras I could have, I was also much bigger busted. I would be bought bras that were too big in the band size so that they would slip up. Told that I took after the worst side of the family with my chest. Endless comments on how my chest looked like the speed hump sign whenever we went past one. I was 14.

Then followed it up one day when measuring up for school uniform by telling me I needed to be measured round my thigh, then measuring her own thigh in front of me and being deliriously and visibly happy that mine were bigger than hers. Again, at 14.

Like so many others, there are so many more.

Iamacatslave · 04/10/2025 19:04

Stop walking around like a fucking skeleton, said by my father when I was anorexic.

Achewyhamster · 04/10/2025 19:40

GreyCarpet · 04/10/2025 10:21

Ooh, one of the more light hearted ones...

My mum bought my bras for me as a teen. I wasn't told or taught how to measure myself so she did it. She told me what size I was.

Eventually, I was the same size as her (34B). When those bras stopped fitting me properly, she made me feel that it was because my body was wrong. It wasn't her fault or the shops' fault that those bras didn't fit me properly. It was mine.

She would tell me all the time that my boobs were small, too small and that I'd never get married or find a boyfriend because my boobs were too small. I didn't have the confidence to think I needed a bigger size because bra size (evidently) carried a value judgement for her (and therefore me) and I wasnt 'good enough' generally to need a bigger size.

So I spent hours trying on 34B bras and crying because they didn't fit. I'd spent so long being told my boobs were "too small", it didn't even occur to me to try a bigger size.

She even joked about it with her boyfriend when I was late teens that she had better/bigger boobs than me and suggested on one occasion that he see them au naturel and compare them to say whose were 'best'.

I just accepted this and that she was right (such is the nature of long term emotional abuse) and just believed I couldn't find bras to fit me because my body was the wrong shape for bras.

When I finally had my size measured properly, I was a 34DD.

She just couldn't cope with the idea that I had bigger boobs than she did.

She also told me all through my teens that I was fat and too fat. She'd buy me clothes that were too big for me which then hung badly and didn't fit properly and she told me that it was because I was so fat nothing would look good on me and it was my own fault for being fat.

I wasn't fat. I was just a different shape to her and curvy but I didn't have an ounce of fat on me in reality.

But I also spent years planning where I was going to sit in pubs, restaurants etc so that I could get to the bar/toilets easily without either a) being seen by others or b) bumping into things and sending people flying with my body. In reality, I was 8 stone by 18 and stayed that way until my mid 30s when I was 9 stone.

I just couldn't see it.

I had this exact thing from her

She was (and still is) a big lady (a size 32 at her biggest)

I was a size 14 when I was younger (teens-30+)

She would take me to Tesco/charity shop/leeds market and encourage me to try on clothes,but would hand me either a size 20 or an 6 and tell me to 'try it on,you'll look lovely' and of course these clothes wouldn't fit

She would then take the piss out of me 'you looked like you where wearing a tent!hahahaha' or 'shame you couldn't fit in those size 6 jeans!its because your all fat legged with no tits,hehehehe'

I finally figured i was a size 14 and would buy clothes that fit and of course she had another shit fit

She would stare at me as a teen and refused to let me get a bra fitting

'Your a 36AA!no tits and massive thighs!'

So of course my boob's would spill out/ride up and it was all my fault

I finally got measured as an adult (by accident,id gone with my sister-in-law and the lady used to work at a posh bra shop,she looked me up and down and told me my bra was waaayyy too small)

I'm a 38C and she went mental-my tit's where not good enough and 'too big' (she's a 36 EE!)

I spent my teen years in pain because she couldn't bear the fact I had 'better' boob's than she did

When I got pregnant,she made such a massive fuss because I didnt pile on 10 stone-I went up a dress size and by God, did I pay for it

Nasty comments about 'yummy mummies' 'deformed babies' and how i thought i 'was better than everyone else'

I still hate my body because of her

Crushed23 · 04/10/2025 19:56

I wouldn’t go as far as calling her toxic, but I have to share a recent batshit exchange with my mother.

I send her one of those riddles/optical illusion things from instagram which I thought was cool.

She didn’t get the riddle so I explained it to her.

Her response?

”I prefer to cook delicious meals than do riddles”

BAT-SHIT 😂😂😂

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