Partner does not know I know he didn't stay home last night

[Goldleafsand]

My partner went out with friends for food and drinks last night
He msg me at 11pm saying he would be getting a taxi home soon , just having one last beer which is all fine by me of course.
We both msg goodnight and I love you to each other as I had an early start this morning
All was really good between us
I said I'd hoped he had a lovely evening with friends and he said he was looking forward to seeing me on Wednesday.

This morning my work colleague rang me and said her car wouldn't start and would I mind picking her up on the way to work , I agreed , it's absolutely no problem for me & didnt put me out of my way at all

She lives on the same cul de sac as my partner and you have to drive past his to get to hers.
As I glanced at his house I noticed every curtain was open including the bedroom ones. He also hadn't put his bin out , it's bin day
I know his house if that makes sense and it was clear he had not been home.
This was 7. 30 am , he is on annual leave , he was planning a lay in this morning , he was out with mates drinking I know him well he would no way be up that early
Anyway this surprised me a bit as he hadn't said he was staying out , however i understand things can cahnge on a night out drinking and all that and maybe he stayed at a friend's house ? Stayed for a few more drinks , who knows 🤷‍♀️

He is free to do how he pleases
However I have not heard from his at all today.
No goodmorning txts which is unlike him, even if he had been out drinking the night before he would always msg in the morning.

I am not going to say I know he didn't stay at home , I am going to sit back and watch and see if he is honest about this as there would be no reason to lie to me
I am very laid back and we both have a good group of friends and social lives so I am in no way controlling or jealous type
But there's this awful gut feeling niggling away at me and it's like my instincts are telling me something just isn't right here
I am also worrying that he is actually ok
But I don't want to bombard him with msgs either
So I'm giving it some time to see how this pans out throughout the day.
Why do I have this awful gut feeling? Is it anxiety or intuition?

You’re not being stalkerish at all OP, surely just a worried partner?!
Hope that he is okay x

F

That is so untrue. Herpes is with you for life and affects your sex life since you have to disclose, and most people won't want to risk catching it.

Syphilis has vague early symptoms and gets really nasty later on.

Chlamydia and gonorrhea have hardly any symptoms but silently steal your fertility.

HPV leaves you vulnerable to cervical cancer.

And then there's HIV...yes, it's treatable, but over time it still gives you difficult symptoms, like neuropathy, which makes it difficult to walk if you get it in your feet, and symptoms from the longterm meds. You think those heavy-duty meds are free of side effects? And then there's the fact that the virus hides all over your system, and if something goes wrong with your meds or you can't get to them for some reason, it flares up very quickly all over your body thanks to those hideouts, which is why you can get very ill, very quickly. HIV still takes a dreadful toll on your mind and body and relationship chances. Yes, with complicated treatment, it might not kill you, but living with HIV is a very serious situation and is in NO WAY the same as living without it.

I'm absolutely amazed at your ignorance of the severity of STDs. You REALLY need to do some research, for your own sake.

Surely it would be 'normal' or reasonable to have followed up with a second message by now checking and and that hes ok?

@Goldleafsand he may have lost his phone 🤷‍♀️

Yeah that was my first thought too

I mean, he could have left the phone in the taxi BUT that doesn't explain why his house looked like he hadn't been home all night.

Or it’s just possible the OP doesn’t want to come back to update because she’s finished work and is talking to him/with him..

I think at this point I would have to go and knock on his door and see if he was at home, failing that I would contact a member of his family out of concern. I feel for you OP x

I'd be concerned as well. It's not stalkerish or insecure to care about where your partner slept last night. I hope he's been in touch OP and he/you are ok.

@Goldleafsand

I’m not surprised you’re concerned.
Your instincts are right, something is very off.

Call on him at the house..quite reasonable and proportionate. I hope all is well with him..

Hoping all is ok, OP

Any updates OP? Has he contacted you yet? I expect you must be worried sick.

Heard anything goldleaf? Hope all OK.

Hope you have heard from him, OP! I would also be worried.

Any news?
Btw I don’t think you’re unhinged or a stalker.

Any news op?

hope you have heard from him now.

Some of the replies on here are mental. I'd be concerned too if I were in OP's position. My DH has done this a couple of times - once before we lived together and once a few years ago. The first time he'd passed out on his Mum's sofa and the last time he'd slept in local wasteland (if anyone thinks I'm gullible that's his exact brand of idiocy 😂) so I understand the worry. I hope you hear from him soon. Tbh I would consider going round his house if you haven't heard back by now

Erm this is blatantly nasty, the other poster wasn't.

Any news op?

OP. Hope all is OK. You are most def NOT unhinged. Think about it. The people who feel they cannot contact their boyfriends are unhinged. Such weirdos on mumsnet.

Hope he’s ok

Honestly, why all this banging on about herpes?

We don't even know he's been cheating let alone if he's got herpes.

If something has happened to him, this is just totally inappropriate.