Interesting conversation I just had with a man about cheating... Want to hear others perspective.

[ForeverHopeful3]

I am in the "talking" phase with a man who's been pretty good to me so far! We're a few hours away from each other but we've gone on 2.5 dates and both were good, he's consistent, he's showing he's intentional with me, etc etc.

Today, we had an interesting conversation that somehow morphed into cheaters.

He was explaining to me why it's okay for men to have sex with multiple women, even in relationships, and why it's not the same for women.

Basically: first, its biological. Men have always had multiple women. He used the example of kings having multiple queens to have their children. He also said that when a man sleeps with a woman, he doesn't have to have an emotional connection to her. So when a man "cheats" on his girlfriend, she shouldn't leave him because he still loves her, and not the other girl. He just had the physical part with the other girl. But for a woman, its different, because most women need an emotional connection with the man before she sleeps with him. So her cheating on a man means she doesn't love her man anymore or she isn't emotionally connected to him. Also, he used examples of how Muslim men have multiple wives.

He did say he's not saying its right or wrong, he's saying that its okay for men to cheat because they still love whoever it is that they are married to or in a relationship with.

I said that cheating is a huge betrayal and it shows there's no meaning behind your word. Now, I did throw in that if the man is up front with his woman and tells her "HEY I AM GOING TO BE WITH MULTIPLE WOMEN" and she knows this and is okay with it, then that's on her and its not cheating at that point.

BUT, if he does that behind her back, that's not right.

What are your thoughts?

I’d make it simpler, to be honest.

How about:

You’re a moron, and I don’t date morons.

He's telling you he will cheat or he is immature.

I'd write him off but id have woumd him up for a laugh firstto face his own misogyny.

"I totally agree, it's a shame more women aren't like me and can just have sex without feelings. It's one reason I find it hard to have a relationship, because one man can't satisfy me" etc

Oh God, just dump him now 🙄 what a twat!

And his opinion on Andrew Tate is …..?

NEXT! Don’t waste your breath on this one OP.

Love this reply. Nail on the head.

It isn't just the cheating comments, it's the fact that he thinks there's a divide between men and women. This is like the stuff Andrew Tate comes out with and shows he's either sexist or blindly thinks AT is on to something. Either way it isn't a good sign.

I think he sounds unoriginal and dull, and I wouldn't want to be with that for any length of time.

For goodness sake OP, why is your bar so low that there is even going to BE another conversation???

Throw. Him. Back.

Probably because she was sick of him talking to other women and having one night stands. Then when she did it, it was a big betrayal!!

If you’re looking for a longterm, meaningful relationship, surely you know this is now dead in the water, right?

You’re not going to change someone’s outlook and general integrity by saying ‘hey, I don’t like that, don’t do it please!’. He is who he is.

To boot, he sounds incredibly misogynistic and of incredible low emotional intelligence. Good luck with that.

Gosh I haven’t heard these arguments since the eighties when I worked with two guys who reckoned that penetration didn’t mean much emotionally but allowing penetration did.

His stall.
Setting out his stool would be even more disgusting.

Massive, massive red flags. Run and don’t look back.

🤣

Okay let's just say he's right (he isnt) his logic isn't sound because if women need an emotional connection to sleep with a man, then all these women men are sleeping around with are being betrayed. It's not like there are surplus women hanging around for men to casually sleep with (since for men it's simply a physiological urge according to him). So if a man's beloved partner shouldn't be upset bevause they don't love ir even like these women, what about the women themselves? Doesn't stack up, nice try nice guy.

Also, the old argument about biological urges is dumb, we as a species have evolved past or turned our back voluntarily on many biological elements of being human, societal influences are often far stronger (ie kids later in life, monogamy in many cultures).

A long reply to say he's an idiot, throw him back.

Ditch him.
He will cheat then act surprised...

He honestly sounds a bit dumb

On yer bike op!!🚵

This. He is a male human with a pulse. That's about all. Surely you can find another one of those that has more between his ears than this one. Living hours away will become a pain and allows him all the space he needs to have sex with whoever is willing. He's a waste of time. Raise the bar Op.

“Setting out his stool”

Well, he’s showing you he’s a shit…

Better known as double standards. Find someone you can trust.

I guarantee you won’t find this funny for long.

Apparently “Men can cheat, women can’t” is a direct quote from Andrew Tate, along with:
“If we talk about tradition - traditionally - every single man in history had multiple wives, and there was not a single woman who was celebrated for having multiple husbands.”

As it sounds like he’s taken these views on board, you might also want to be aware of:
"Feminism is a lie and women have zero power without men"
"I'm not saying they're property. I am saying they are given to the man and belong to the man"
“You can’t be responsible for something that doesn’t listen to you. You can’t be responsible for a dog if it doesn’t obey you, or a child if it doesn’t obey you, or a woman that doesn’t obey you.”
"Women are sex workers. Their primary job now is to find one customer, called a boyfriend, to pay for their entire lives in return for pussy.”

You’ve only been on a couple of dates and he’s already started testing your boundaries with red pill manosphere bullshit. A quick conversation about ground rules isn’t going to change this misogynistic prick’s views about women. Get your bar off the floor OP.

Powerful men had multiple wives BECAUSE they were powerful men, they ran the show... if they'd demanded 'everyone must wear a duck on their heads and bring me sweeties on a Friday', then everyone would have had to wear a duck on their heads and bring them sweeties on a Friday....

Besides, do you really want sex with someone who 'isn't having an emotional connection' to you?

Although …..
Polyamory could be the relationship he is looking for - non singular sexual partner / relationship with full knowledge & consent of all parties.
If his opinion is that it’s ok to be in an exclusive relationship but have sex outside of that then it is lying / cheating