Mounjaro affecting friendship

[MounjaroBore]

Name changed for this and i'm posting it in relationships because there is no aibu and weight loss injections isn't the appropriate outlet because people are there seeking support.

I have a friend who has recently gone on mounjaro. A few months ago. She wasn't that overweight, and only had about a stone and a half to lose.

I'm happy for her that it's doing what she wants, but I am finding it's affecting our friendship. Whenever we go out, she's decided she wants to go for dinner despite being unable to eat more than a few mouthfuls. She eats barely a few mouthfuls of her dinner and then asked the restaurant to box it up.

All she talks about is mounjaro, and how much weight she's lost. She shares about buying needles off the internet for the golden dose and the extra dose, and tells me about the new community community, she's found on reddit, to help her do this. She said she's beginning to feel like a drug addict.

Whilst doing this, she encourages me to finish everything on my plate and order more food. I am a bit overweight, too, and I was actually more overweight than she was. I suggested perhaps I should get it and she was like, no, you don't need to lose weight.You look great order something else... encouraging me to order more food.

She keeps asking me if she looks as if she's lost weight. Every time I see her. She tells me how many people haven't commented on her weight loss and she wishes, they would.

She tells me this every time I see her and I reply with the same thing every time I see her which is it is generally a faux pas to comment on someone's weight. Perhaps people haven't noticed or if they have, they don't want to comment because it's impolite to mention somebody's weight.

Sorry. What's going on here? We've been friends for years suddenly I need to eat more food when I was more overweight than her to start with and all she talks about is her weight loss. She seems to ask me to go out for dinner with her to demonstrate me how little she eats.

She had her dinner boxed up, and she made such a thing of it that she'll barely be able to eat the other half for lunch tomorrow.

I don't want to back away from the friendship, but the last few times I ve met with her.I end up eating alone with her commenting.How little she eats and how I don't need injections.On how I should eat more.

The last time we did something that didn't involve eating.We went to the cinema. But then when she got home, she texted me to ask what I was having for dinner, and I told her, and she said she was eating nothing. She just has to get it in how little she has eaten or how she's eaten nothing.

Any idea how to handle it tactfully. Or just ignore.

This. Be honest with her about how you feel. See what happens.

She wants you to be the 'fat friend' so she is actively discouraging you from taking Mounjaro. I'd drop her if I were you. She isn't a good friend and she sounds very self-obsessed.

Not read the whole thread, but she sounds like she has an eating disorder to me. An obsession with weight and exercise and with what she and other people are eating.

I'd gently suggest some therapy, and also put in place boundaries about what topics you're willing to discuss.

They dont. You cant get the last bit out.
I got some insulin needles to draw out the last bit.
Im not sure why anyone discusses that though. Sounds like she's a bit obsessive over it all.

I’m not sure of that, of the six women in my friendship circle 4 of us are on th4 jabs, two others are overweight/obese and not. We don’t sit and talk about the drugs, but if asked we will say sure, have some more, or do you not want pudding if it looks like they want it but feel they shouldn’t, or no you look great, you don’t need to lose weight, most folks do the same, what exactly are you supposed to say, put the fork down mate, don’t have any more? Or You could do with losing a few? No one says that, so I’m not convinced this isn’t someone trying to be kind and non judgemental,rather than someone who actively wants the op to be fat.

You are the mentally healthy one here op: don't let her ruin that.

Maybe bring up the thyroid tumors in rodents or whatever it is every time she mentions it. That'll soon have her wanting to keep quiet.

You mean the thyroid tumours than when they tweaked the drug was never seen again but needs to be on the box, those tumours`?

I'm not sure. I've not used it but have heard dribs and drabs of side effect rumours. They don't need to be true to make the topic off-putting over lunch however.

I think they do, if someone spouted nonsense at me, they’d not out me off the drugs, just the person.

The truth is many people do worry about the side effects. I am not au fait with the ins and outs - but op herself is an example.

The point is everyone is free to take their decision about whether they want to use them. The other woman is making op feel uncomfortable about her choice not to take them, so I can't see why it's any different.

Sure, but real side effects.

That's what I said though?

She's not. She's telling OP not to take them. Spreading false rumours is never a good idea.

This

I was anorexic for many years (20+). I admit I see my old traits if this friend your describing. Weightloss can be an addiction/obsession.
It sounds awful for you
Pull her up on it. Its not normal behavior

Play her at her own game- the next time you go out for food order something small and eat hardly any of it, when she questions you just answer the same way she does to you and don’t let her bully you in to ordering more. See how she likes it!

In the ancient language of Abidjarla, 'mounjaro' means monster, which is what is happening to your friend. Nobody knows how it is going to play out with this drug and what it will do to people. The chimera is still in the shadows and has yet to emerge. She might wake up one morning and find she's turned into a something that resembles a three seater sofa...

Nobody knows how this will go.

Well apart from the scientists who developed it and all the global health authorities inc the who. 😂

Tell her loosing weight is not just about what you eat, its about moving your body too! Meet her in the park go for a long walk together, chat and walk with a coffee no food
Myself i have lost over 9 stone through lifestyle change and kept it off, i tend to avoid eating out mostly because of the cost but also because im conscious of how things are cooked and the fat content , i dont want to go back to where i once was
If walking doesnt work id ditch her, find a friend who wants to be a friend. Constant food talk/shaming is no fun

I think you are missing my point.

She is aggravating the op by mentioning her jabs constantly. To shut her up all op needs to say is the truth: "I wouldn't take them because I'm worried about the side effects." Which she is. She will know what they are, since they are worrying her. I don't, because I haven't looked into it. I referenced that because it was the one I had heard and remembered. I have heard of others and not remembered them because its not a thing I would consider. But OP will know what is concerning her. That's what she should come out and say. I bet the conversation dries up fast.

Unless like users on here she gets obsessed with disavowing plenty of people have concerns.

Perfectly put. The only answer you need.

Yes say this. Tell her she’s become really boring about this topic and you don’t want to go out for food or talk about food with her, but you’re happy to meet up to do something else. You’ll probably never hear from her again, which would prove that you’re just competition to her.

Having had an eating disorder myself (anorexia nervosa), I think she's displaying a lot of the same behaviours as someone with an eating disorder.

Speaking from personal experience I used to be obsessed with food, even though I barely ate any! I would seek out reassurance that I was still losing weight, if people stopped commenting on it I would panic that it was because I must surely look fat to them. Part of it was also encouraging people around me (my family) to eat more than me, so I felt better about myself and to make me feel like I had more willpower than them. I would go so far as to cook and bake, but eat none of it myself.

This was all throughout my teens and early 20s. I'm recovered now, but I can relate and empathise with your friends behaviour. It's embarrassing now, to think back on how horrible it must have been for people around me and how I used to act. BUT, if she is/has developed such a preoccupation with food and weight then she may well be in eating disorder territory now. And it's a mental illness and an obsession she won't be able to shake easily.

I would say try to talk to her about it, she might deny it but I think it's still a conversation worth having to let her know you've noticed, that you care and that it's beginning to affect you too. If you need to not see her for a while then that's understandable, but I'd definitely try to talk to her first. All the best. Xx

Having had an eating disorder myself (anorexia nervosa), I think she's displaying a lot of the same behaviours as someone with an eating disorder.

Speaking from personal experience I used to be obsessed with food, even though I barely ate any! I would seek out reassurance that I was still losing weight, if people stopped commenting on it I would panic that it was because I must surely look fat to them. Part of it was also encouraging people around me (my family) to eat more than me, so I felt better about myself and to make me feel like I had more willpower than them. I would go so far as to cook and bake, but eat none of it myself.

This was all throughout my teens and early 20s. I'm recovered now, but I can relate and empathise with your friends behaviour. It's embarrassing now, to think back on how horrible it must have been for people around me and how I used to act. BUT, if she is/has developed such a preoccupation with food and weight then she may well be in eating disorder territory now. And it's a mental illness and an obsession she won't be able to shake easily.

I would say try to talk to her about it, she might deny it but I think it's still a conversation worth having to let her know you've noticed, that you care and that it's beginning to affect you too. If you need to not see her for a while then that's understandable, but I'd definitely try to talk to her first. All the best. Xx

I think she is playing dirty. She is very aware of what she is doing. I would tell her straight you are not playing silly games. I am on Mounjaro and have never heard of anyone stopping someone else going for it. Friends want the best for us, she is both selfish and being mean.