Mounjaro affecting friendship

[MounjaroBore]

Name changed for this and i'm posting it in relationships because there is no aibu and weight loss injections isn't the appropriate outlet because people are there seeking support.

I have a friend who has recently gone on mounjaro. A few months ago. She wasn't that overweight, and only had about a stone and a half to lose.

I'm happy for her that it's doing what she wants, but I am finding it's affecting our friendship. Whenever we go out, she's decided she wants to go for dinner despite being unable to eat more than a few mouthfuls. She eats barely a few mouthfuls of her dinner and then asked the restaurant to box it up.

All she talks about is mounjaro, and how much weight she's lost. She shares about buying needles off the internet for the golden dose and the extra dose, and tells me about the new community community, she's found on reddit, to help her do this. She said she's beginning to feel like a drug addict.

Whilst doing this, she encourages me to finish everything on my plate and order more food. I am a bit overweight, too, and I was actually more overweight than she was. I suggested perhaps I should get it and she was like, no, you don't need to lose weight.You look great order something else... encouraging me to order more food.

She keeps asking me if she looks as if she's lost weight. Every time I see her. She tells me how many people haven't commented on her weight loss and she wishes, they would.

She tells me this every time I see her and I reply with the same thing every time I see her which is it is generally a faux pas to comment on someone's weight. Perhaps people haven't noticed or if they have, they don't want to comment because it's impolite to mention somebody's weight.

Sorry. What's going on here? We've been friends for years suddenly I need to eat more food when I was more overweight than her to start with and all she talks about is her weight loss. She seems to ask me to go out for dinner with her to demonstrate me how little she eats.

She had her dinner boxed up, and she made such a thing of it that she'll barely be able to eat the other half for lunch tomorrow.

I don't want to back away from the friendship, but the last few times I ve met with her.I end up eating alone with her commenting.How little she eats and how I don't need injections.On how I should eat more.

The last time we did something that didn't involve eating.We went to the cinema. But then when she got home, she texted me to ask what I was having for dinner, and I told her, and she said she was eating nothing. She just has to get it in how little she has eaten or how she's eaten nothing.

Any idea how to handle it tactfully. Or just ignore.

she is doing it wrong then and the wheels will come off eventually. You have to fu your body not starve it. I bet she is one of those who chases the highest appetite suppression but does nothing to actually eat properly. Don’t worry OP this isn’t sustainable for her.

This is absolutely spot on!

I lost 12 stone over the past 3.5 years! Best decision I’ve ever made. However, I became a part of a weight loss community alongside it. It was wonderful for the most part, but there were the odd few who tried to make it a competition. I have seen exactly what you described play out in front of me. She isn’t your friend, she is using you to elevate herself.

I’ve never used any form of weight loss injection, but based on what you’ve said, I’d recommend trying it yourself. You won’t need to say a thing to your friend, she will disappear quicker than you realise.

She's not behaving like a friend at all.

I'd just take a massive step back. Stop allowing her to play the game with you, eg if she asks you what you're having for dinner, say 'you first' to her and then just smile and nod or send her a thumbs up 😬. Tell her there's no point going out to eat together as she doesn't actually eat. I wouldn't bother going for a coffee - she'll be trying to ply you with caramel syrup and pastries!

But it's not up to her whether you take it or not, she's not the decision maker in your life. Having said that, if you don't have a BMI over 30, you won't be prescribed it anyway. It's not true the side effects are worse than the effects of obesity btw, but they could be if you're not actually obese.

The thing is, she does see it as a competition and she’s delighted she’s winning. She sees you as the competition. She can’t say that though, so it comes out like this.

Just say 'Look, it's no fun going out for dinner with someone who nibbles and has most of their meal boxed to take away. Also, you're becoming a Mounjaro bore. Let's just have a quick coffee next time.'

Well yes exactly. I did have a b m I of over 30 at the beginning of this year. But I have actually lost a few kilos already, and now I won't qualify for it as my bmi is about 27.

I've stalled with my weight loss.So I guess I'll just have to have another go and continue doing it without the injections.And that's fine. As I said, these side effects did put me off even when I would have qualified for it.

Why don't you start e.g. wegovy, it is cheaper than MJ now, and wang on about how great it is and such a bargain.

She sounds like a pain the arse. MJ is great. Hearing about it all the time is dull. My friend is on MJ and whereas previously we’d have met for a pub lunch we now go for a country walk. We talk about normal things.

Because I don't qualify for it. My bmi isn't over 30 anymore. I lost a bit of weight this year but not enough.

Agreed it sounds like an eating disorder. I had a friend like that and she would encourage me to eat more, while she'd starve herself. She made me feel horrible about myself every single time, so I spent less time with her until it fizzled out. I don't think it's a nice and healthy friendship, I'd dial back on future meet ups.

It's irrelevant @MounjaroBore as you've said the risk of possible side effects means they are a no go for you, but with PCOS as a weight related health condition you would probably qualify for WLI with a BMI of 27 or higher.

It can be 27 if you have a condition such as high blood pressure, cholesterol, depression or even menopause.

I'd go with non-food activities and ignore messages that are related to food.

Most of the common side effects like diarrohea are shortlived. I've been on Mounjaro now since April and have lost two stones, and my periods have come back to every two months rather than once a year. Its certainly helped my PCOS.

All she talks about is mounjaro, and how much weight she's lost. She shares about buying needles off the internet for the golden dose and the extra dose, and tells me about the new community community, she's found on reddit, to help her do this. She said she's beginning to feel like a drug addict.

Buying needles? She’s having you on. You get twice as many needles as you need with every package!

I'd refuse to meet her in a restaurant or a food related context until she has knocked this ridiculous, attention seeking behaviour on the head.

Don’t be tactful! Be blunt.

Tackke the problem head on for heaven sake!
”When you encourage me to eat more more more, it actually makes me feel bad, and that I am being used to make you feel even happier about you weight loss”
”When you suggest I don’t use Mj it feels all ‘one rule for me, but not for the’ - what’s going on Jackie?”

She sounds like an awful person. I'd either only meet with her in a situation that involves no food - or not meet with her at all. She doesn't sound worth spending time with.

You would need insulin needles to remove the so-called bonus dose, the ones you get with it wouldn't work

She's become obsessed with her weight loss and its crowded out everything else. When she sees you, you are simply a vehicle for her to indulge her obsession. She is using you to validate her weight loss, to eat by proxy for her, to serve as an unfavourable comparison to her. She gets to watch you eat what she wants to, and then feel good that it was you not her that did it.
This sounds horrible, but its actually unlikely to be rooted in any malign intent towards you, its all about her. Obviously that doesn't make it more tolerable, so what you do depends on how good a friend she's been up until now.
It's possible the obsession will fade and she'll return to normal, so you could wait it out, taking steps to reduce the impact on you (refuse to go for meals for example) or you could decide to distance yourself, keeping a door open. Or even have a conversation where you point out her behaviour and ask her to stop.
I hope for her sake that she gets over this as she sounds on the cusp of being very unwell.

I’ve only read your posts @MounjaroBore but it seems like me the Mounjaro is a bit of a red herring, and in fact you just have opinions about the use of Mounjaro use. Your friend would act similarly if she had lost the weight through injections, Slimming World, or gastric sleeve surgery. The problem is your friend being boring, and you for judging her, and both of you for competing with each other.

That does sound difficult. She is obviously obsessed with diet and weight loss at the moment and doesn't realise how tedious she is going on and on about it. Such things do happen with many different issues.

You must tell her you are looking forward to a meeting with her in which weight loss is not discussed because there are other things in life. She is almost certainly the same with other people and they will get fed up with it too.

As an aside, I am surprised she was prescribed Mounjaro if she was only a stone and a half overweight. People lose that amount all the time with diet and exercise, don't need drugs. However that's her matter. She probably bought it from the internet after answering a few questions - dangerous in my view but each to their own.

Yep, this. She is trying to increase your weight so her loss looks more significant.

And the fat shaming is very unkind and part of it.

She sounds mean and horrid. Get real friends who aren't weight obsessed and genuinely care.

This sounds like some weird Munchausen by proxy kind of thing.

Its one thing her banging on about her weightloss, its a whole other thing that she's actively trying to force food down you.

Its almost like she's trying to make you get fatter so that she's going to look even skinner next to you.

Don't let her put you in that position, don't eat out with her anymore and everytime she brings up weightloss change the subject straight away.