Mounjaro affecting friendship

[MounjaroBore]

Name changed for this and i'm posting it in relationships because there is no aibu and weight loss injections isn't the appropriate outlet because people are there seeking support.

I have a friend who has recently gone on mounjaro. A few months ago. She wasn't that overweight, and only had about a stone and a half to lose.

I'm happy for her that it's doing what she wants, but I am finding it's affecting our friendship. Whenever we go out, she's decided she wants to go for dinner despite being unable to eat more than a few mouthfuls. She eats barely a few mouthfuls of her dinner and then asked the restaurant to box it up.

All she talks about is mounjaro, and how much weight she's lost. She shares about buying needles off the internet for the golden dose and the extra dose, and tells me about the new community community, she's found on reddit, to help her do this. She said she's beginning to feel like a drug addict.

Whilst doing this, she encourages me to finish everything on my plate and order more food. I am a bit overweight, too, and I was actually more overweight than she was. I suggested perhaps I should get it and she was like, no, you don't need to lose weight.You look great order something else... encouraging me to order more food.

She keeps asking me if she looks as if she's lost weight. Every time I see her. She tells me how many people haven't commented on her weight loss and she wishes, they would.

She tells me this every time I see her and I reply with the same thing every time I see her which is it is generally a faux pas to comment on someone's weight. Perhaps people haven't noticed or if they have, they don't want to comment because it's impolite to mention somebody's weight.

Sorry. What's going on here? We've been friends for years suddenly I need to eat more food when I was more overweight than her to start with and all she talks about is her weight loss. She seems to ask me to go out for dinner with her to demonstrate me how little she eats.

She had her dinner boxed up, and she made such a thing of it that she'll barely be able to eat the other half for lunch tomorrow.

I don't want to back away from the friendship, but the last few times I ve met with her.I end up eating alone with her commenting.How little she eats and how I don't need injections.On how I should eat more.

The last time we did something that didn't involve eating.We went to the cinema. But then when she got home, she texted me to ask what I was having for dinner, and I told her, and she said she was eating nothing. She just has to get it in how little she has eaten or how she's eaten nothing.

Any idea how to handle it tactfully. Or just ignore.

Sounds like you're just really unpleasant.

NGL she sounds like she's turned into a right bore.

I must be missing something because apart from the fact she’s boring you with diet talk I don’t see how she’s done anything wrong to you? You sound like her weight loss is making you feel insecure but your bmi being 27 I seriously doubt you look big enough for her to encourage you to go on weight loss injections.

Either tell her you are happy for her but a bit tired of the diet talk or avoid her until she gets back to normal. And enjoy your meals! Who cares if she’s not finishing hers

I don't think it's anything to do with the Mounjaro, just some people get obsessive about their weight loss and cant f*ing shut up about it. My brother-in-law recently lost about a stone, and never stops banging on about his weight, his waist measurement, and commenting on meals when we go out "Oh, I'd never eat that!" " I never eat lunch now." " You should go to bed hungry." It is an absolute pain in the arse, and makes me want to eat a whole box of cream cakes right in his face!!!

I know for some people it's not all that easy to block/drop friends or tell them they're being an a-hole, so if that's the case how about something firm but friendly like: "It's not working out for me meeting you for food, as I'm not comfortable being the only one eating while you're talking about how you're not eating. If we meet up it'd be better to do the cinema / a gig / gallery."

Just wanted to say; if you do decide to go on the injections, don’t tell her about it. If she notices you’ve lost weight, just tell her that you’re eating a calorie controlled diet and moving more - which won’t be a lie. That’s what you should do on the injections, in order to maintain a healthy weight for when you come off them.
Regardless, she sounds really boring! And I agree with other posters who have said how obsessive some people become about their weight when they’ve lost a bit! Someone who is always fishing for compliments- that’s what she’s doing - would never get one from me! You can smell it a mile off! 😂

Respectfully, you come across as having some body image/weight insecurities yourself. Whatever her motivations (and they might well be petty), your being this bothered and compulsively analyzing her every sentence and action suggests your insecurities might have some part to play in the impact your friend is having on you. As others have said, don't meet her for meals and when you meet for walks or such tell her you wish her well on her weight loss journey but find the conversation about weight loss a tad boring (and if you are honest, triggering of your own insecurities).

It probably does if you’re using it to starve yourself 🤷🏻‍♀️

As someone with PCOS, if your BMI is over 30 I highly recommend Mounjaro - it's life changing and there is a campaign to make it a standard treatment for PCOS even for those of a healthy weight.

Your friend unfortunately sounds like she has disordered eating. You're not supposed to barely be able to eat on Mounjaro. I've lost 7 stone eating healthy meals - it's the help with my metabolic issues that have made the difference for me, not starving myself.

I also have more energy and exercise more than ever and am now maintaining while building muscle.

That said there's nothing wrong with going for dinner and taking some home - portions are often large. But going on about it all the time sounds like she's got a bit of an obsession.

In short I'd go on it myself and not indulge her with further conversation about it.

Sounds like your friend is becoming unhealthily obsessive about food, eating and weight.

If you value her as a friend, then perhaps before you bin her off, you need to talk to her and say that you are concerned about her.

The fact she doesn’t want you to lose weight (hence encouraging you to eat) is telling. She’s terrified of you being slimmer than her.

So she’s become boring. But she might also becoming unwell.

I just don’t believe you.

I hate talking, thinking or even looking at food, that is what MJ does to you. It switches you off food. There is no way she is talking about it beyond a passing comment at best. I don’t know anyone that draws attention to it all of the time, and I have lots of friends taking it now.

You just sound jealous op. Comparing food, noticing what she is eating. If you are overweight them you can take it also, and if you are not then just stop seeing your so called friend. Who needs enemies with friends like you.

OP, If you’ve gone down three BMI points, you’ve lost a lot more than “a few kg”.

@toadinthebucket sadly you’re wrong. Like anything that people want, it becomes available for a price. Mounjaro has a street value. I’m a GP and a colleague of mine has a patient who is a size 8 and admitted to buying it online. Presumably some unscrupulous people with a sufficiently high BMI are obtaining it legitimately and then selling it for a profit. Much like people have for many years with codeine, diazepam etc.

i suspect that mounjaro is facilitating a latent eating disorder in a lot of people.

Just because that's what YOU do doesn't mean it affects other people that way.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Ignore this idiot OP

I’m not sure she’s quite as Machiavellian as posters are making out, trying to keep you fat, sees you as competition etc .

I see someone who likely doesn’t understand the impact of their behaviour, doesn’t want to make you feel like you’re fat, so tells you your fine, enjoy the food, and is likely really deep into losing the weight and possibly doesn’t have many people to talk to about it, it’s probably a huge thing in her life right now.

ive lost a lot of weight on them and for many of us its been the only successful tool we have had, and its staggering to go from a size 18 to an 8, to steadily, successfully and healthily lose the weight. She however doesn’t sound like she’s doing it right. Some don’t.

anyone who buys on line is prescribed unless they get them from some dodgy sight, you can get them with a bmi of 27 and she did say she had health issues.

i think instead of being mean and dreaming up bitchy comments, just tell her straight, look I don’t want to talk about weight loss any more. And I don’t want to go out to dinner with you as I feel uncomfortable with how little you eat. So let’s do other stuff. At least tell her and give her a chance, if she continues, then end the friendship and be as bitchy as you wish on the way out.

as for your own weight loss, that’s a personal choice, as is how much you eat when you go out, to be fair I’d also hate going out with someone who didn’t eat, just the two of us, then sat there watching me, I’d decline that fast.

That's exactly right. Best to do it without, because we can't stay on them forever.

I see someone has attacked you for writing this, however again, I will give a moderate opinion, which is I suspect what the op is saying is rooted in the truth, whether it’s as extreme as she is saying though, that’s another thing, and yes there could be a touch of envy as the op also wants to lose weight. Which maybe amplifying it for her, sometimes two people can have a conversation and they both heard something different.

Um what? Are you being sarcastic? Of course we can stay on them forever. They are lifetime medications if we chose, and approved by all the regulatory authorities as such, I will stay on forever. For the health benefits of the drugs, as welll as I don’t want to live my life in a constant state of deprivation and hunger.

She sounds like she has an unhealthy relationship with food and body image that weight loss injections are not going to fix.

It’s not the same situation, but I think the dysfunction is similar. My mum had a best friend who was overweight like she was, except bf also T1 diabetic. Friend got offered weight loss surgery and lost weight, her appetite changed, her lifestyle changed. My mum became really pushy about food with her. Trying to get her to eat because she didn’t like that she had changed her eating habits and then would chastise her behind her back to everyone if she ate a piece of cake or similar.

Someone eating healthy made her feel insecure and it became like a competition. She didn’t want to see anyone else exhibit self control that she knew she didn’t have herself. Your friend may be “being good” 🙄 but she knows she wouldn’t be if not for WLI. It’s threatening to her to see you able to pass up on a pudding that she wouldn’t be able to with her willpower alone.

Some people get obsessed . I know a few people who have lost weight without the drugs and now slag off fat people all the time! Bizarre when they still look a bit overweight themselves and used to be fat. It makes me think they must have despised themselves before losing weight and is draining!

i would step back from this person for a while until the novelty wears off!

Yes I agree with this. She is obsessed with losing weight and her ‘journey’ it’s easy to bore people when something is consuming you. Daily weigh ins, seeing your body change.

But OP also seems to seeing centering herself, taking offence when she’s probably too self involved to even notice OP taking it personally.

I know when I go out for dinner with my mum, (older generation with unhealthy food attitudes) she will go on and on about how large the (normal) portion size is. She will say ‘we could have shared this!’ But everyone else has finished their portion. She’s not doing it to fat shame us, she’s doing it because she’s been in a diet since I was a child and gets most of her calories from wine lol

Yeah not sure about that, they were friends before she went on the drugs and when the op lost weight. So that’s not really logical. Plus as someone on the medication, meh, I don’t give a crap how someone is passing on the pudding, never mind be threatened by it.

She's clearly in the grip of an eating disorder. So you either start avoiding any meet ups that involve food, or you confront it with an "I'm really worried about you, your behaviour around food isn't normal and I don't know how I can help you with it".

i think I’ve read the majority of the posts and WLI seem to be like marmite. Also, people generally only notice others weight loss if they have lost 10% of their body weight. So OP possibly drop that fact in as to why people haven’t noticed!
Anyway, my neighbour went on WLI and he couldn’t stop banging on about it, telling me I should get myself on them (I truly think he has body dysmorphia and although I am fat, he seemed to think we were the same size, I also have body dysmorphia, so had to check with my husband I wasn’t actually the same size!). For a period of time WLI became his whole personality. He consistently lost a stone a month, nagged me to join him on them, commented how little he ate or how he ate like a normal person now. I personally just did perfunctory yes’s and mmm’s. His weight loss I think has steadied now and he has another topic of conversation. Just tell her she’s being a bore, and you are pleased she is losing on the WLI but would also like to talk about something else.
Also, why people are so against people helping themselves with WLI and become less of a burden on the nhs? WLI have been around for decades, and have great results. Problems that can arise from being overweight increased risk of type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and some cancers, musculoskeletal issues like osteoarthritis, breathing difficulties like sleep apnea, digestive problems such as gallstones, and may reduce fertility. Also psychological issues like low self-esteem, depression, and social isolation. If someone has the funds to help reduce their weight and , therefore, all the these potential problems that would be treated by the nhs, then let them. They are helping themselves and the NHS. So good for them.
I do also believe some people don’t want obese people to lose weight because they like to see someone they deem as not as good as they are. They feel better about themselves when they can fat shame others and make judgments about others lives.