Mounjaro affecting friendship

[MounjaroBore]

Name changed for this and i'm posting it in relationships because there is no aibu and weight loss injections isn't the appropriate outlet because people are there seeking support.

I have a friend who has recently gone on mounjaro. A few months ago. She wasn't that overweight, and only had about a stone and a half to lose.

I'm happy for her that it's doing what she wants, but I am finding it's affecting our friendship. Whenever we go out, she's decided she wants to go for dinner despite being unable to eat more than a few mouthfuls. She eats barely a few mouthfuls of her dinner and then asked the restaurant to box it up.

All she talks about is mounjaro, and how much weight she's lost. She shares about buying needles off the internet for the golden dose and the extra dose, and tells me about the new community community, she's found on reddit, to help her do this. She said she's beginning to feel like a drug addict.

Whilst doing this, she encourages me to finish everything on my plate and order more food. I am a bit overweight, too, and I was actually more overweight than she was. I suggested perhaps I should get it and she was like, no, you don't need to lose weight.You look great order something else... encouraging me to order more food.

She keeps asking me if she looks as if she's lost weight. Every time I see her. She tells me how many people haven't commented on her weight loss and she wishes, they would.

She tells me this every time I see her and I reply with the same thing every time I see her which is it is generally a faux pas to comment on someone's weight. Perhaps people haven't noticed or if they have, they don't want to comment because it's impolite to mention somebody's weight.

Sorry. What's going on here? We've been friends for years suddenly I need to eat more food when I was more overweight than her to start with and all she talks about is her weight loss. She seems to ask me to go out for dinner with her to demonstrate me how little she eats.

She had her dinner boxed up, and she made such a thing of it that she'll barely be able to eat the other half for lunch tomorrow.

I don't want to back away from the friendship, but the last few times I ve met with her.I end up eating alone with her commenting.How little she eats and how I don't need injections.On how I should eat more.

The last time we did something that didn't involve eating.We went to the cinema. But then when she got home, she texted me to ask what I was having for dinner, and I told her, and she said she was eating nothing. She just has to get it in how little she has eaten or how she's eaten nothing.

Any idea how to handle it tactfully. Or just ignore.

She sounds awful. I think you should be busy every time. Don’t make any arrangements. If she does , only agree to morning or afternoon coffee as you cannot eat at the moment but refuse to elaborate why. That will drive her crazy.

She is enjoying playing with you. What a horrible toxic ‘’friend’.

It’s great you have done enough not to qualify for mounjaro. I would try with all my heart to use her toxic behaviour to kick start my own health journey and get fit and toned on the back of her behaviour. Then I would be inclined to say how much money you have saved and that her comments were the perfect springboard to encourage you to finally drop those few last pound, if you are still in contact.

This with bells on and get properly toned and buffed. She will be skinny fat as she doesn't have the energy to work out!

I don't personally know anyone on weight loss drugs, but I'm finding discussion on here and on other media channels to have become all consuming and if you don't take the drugs or aren't overweight, it must feel really boring and something to disconnect from - all the talk about food noise, and maintenance doses etc. I can't think of anything more dull.

I would leave your friend to it. She sounds obsessed and lacking in social awareness, I would definitely push back on her making you eat food you don't want, how dare she!

This.

I don't have friends on Mounjaro, but I have - over the years - had friends and acquaintances who have tried to dissuade me from losing weight.

I lost a lot of weight in my 40s, but then piled it back on again. Now in my mid-60s I'm eating more healthily and am going to the gym. I've been warned about people getting 'obsessed' with the gym and have been warned not to overdo it.

In actual fact, I was referred to a specific class by my physio (following an operation) and it's been so beneficial that I've taken out a membership and joined other group classes.

I've only lost two stones and have moved from 'obese' to 'overweight' according to the NHS BMI chart. I need to lose just over another two stones in order to move into the top end of 'healthy', but am being discouraged from doing so. Yes, my friends are slimmer than I am.

Just to stop the 'Don't lose weight!' schtick, I'm now lying and saying that I'm only building muscle for my leg and shoulder problems. My arms and legs are more or less where they should be, my bust has gone done and I've lost fat from the posterior and oblique area. I'm still carrying fat on my stomach, thighs and lower back. It'll be easier on my knees and the rest of my legs if I lose it.

TBH I think the fact she is on Mounjaro is a red herring - she is still obsessed with food, controlling it, talking about it/and diets. And the fact that she is exhorting you to eat more whilst refusing to eat herself is, frankly, weird as fuck.

I’ve been on weight loss drugs for several years (lost 6.5 stone, very slowly because I also have underlying health issues with thyroid, PCOS, insulin resistance etc) and, frankly, if I’d talked about it at everyone like this friend of OP’s, my DH would have smothered me in my sleep. If anyone asked, and if I trusted them, I admitted using MJ/wegovy, but otherwise no-one would have ever have known. I met people for coffee (and maybe a small cake) rather than lunch/dinner until I worked out that it was easy to order steak n salad. I’m in maintenance now, and eat out a couple of times a week, but did so regularly in my weight loss phase, so she really doesn’t need to make a fanfare of being too full to eat more than a few mouthfuls (which suggests her dose is too high… or she is lying and scoff the lot the second she gets home).

Your friend is not a friend. She sounds as though she is actually rather narcissistic but she’s hidden it until now.

I’d phase her out and then decide if and how you might want to lose weight/get fit without any reference to her. But make sure you do it for you, not because this awful woman has made you feel a bit crap about your weight through her passive aggressiveness.

She will turn anything you're doing into a conversation about weight loss.. guarantee she will tell you how many calories are in coffee shop coffees!

She is probably trying to feed you up so she looks slimmer by comparison.. you sitting there eating a normal portion of food, while discussing your struggles about weight loss, while she is eating one mouthful and telling you how stuffed she is must be like a drug to her.. that is why she is encouraging you to eat more.. she is not the sort of friend that would be happy to see you succeed... she doesn't seem well to be honest, it's attention seeking at best, easting disorder at worst.

Just stop talking about weight loss injections, weight loss or any of it with her, if you can't bring it up with her just act bored, go quiet and then change the subject when she starts on again, or just tell her you're sick of hearing about it now as it is all she ever talks about.

She wasnt prescribed it she bought it.

When the prices went up she went mad trying to source it and now has enough to last until January.

Weve had endless discussions abojt the price increases too. Well not discussion she monologues.

I meet with some friends for a walk at the park, and then we have a coffee or cold drink afterwards. It avoids the temptation to eat out.

I think you should do the same. And if she says you should have cake, tell her very sweetly 'no, thank you, but you should treat yourself.'

She sounds like she has stopped being your friend, she is not behaving like a friend and seems to be trying to set you up to shame you.

If you want to remain friends with her I think to calm her down you need to say you are concerned about her. She sounds like she’s slipping into eating disorder territory. I don’t understand why she thinks not eating anything is really anything to be proud of, she’s starving herself thin. That’s essentially what an eating disorder is!

She’s either bought it illegally, or she’s been prescribed it privately. You can’t get it legally without a prescription, even if it’s a private one.

Again, I think a significant part of the problem is your attitude towards Mounjaro.

I would have qualified, but chose not to take it - I have gastric reflux and IBS and simply couldn't risk exacerbating that.

This is my take also.

She wasn't that overweight, and only had about a stone and a half to lose.

You can’t purchase the medication if that’s all you need to lose. You need to be obese.

Something isn’t right here…

Not for the golden dose you dont

I agree- anyone who talks about the golden dose ( which incidentally you shouldn't use) is an idiot. Also why would you use MJ when you only have 1 and a half stone to lose??

New found form of eating disorder if you ask me, speaking as someone who had one many moons ago.

Agree - speaking as a former anorexic her behaviour sounds VERY familiar

Really? Source?

You should tell her you're on Mounjaro anyway.

She doesn’t want you to take it and is encouraging you to eat more so she can feel superior….
“Oh I can’t possibly eat the rest of this and i won’t be able to squeeze it in tomorrow, but you go on and order that pudding”
If all she talks about is her weight, her injections, people noticing her weight and how many miles she’s walked/treadmill runs she’s gone on, it all sounds pretty joyless and I’d be avoiding her like the plague, if you’re very good friends tell her she’s been a fun sponge by going on about it all the time and she needs to think of some other conversations pieces.
If you can’t tell her to stop going on about it or you can tell her and she continues then it’s time to stop meeting her. She is not being your friend by encouraging you to munch away whilst sitting there watching (and silently judging)

Honestly? She has an obsession and is boring. More than that she appears to be trying to manipulate you (not very cleverly) to get fatter so she can gloat and use her obsession in comparative ways

Get rid of her, at least for now. She's not a friend to you atm

I would distance myself OP as she sounds like a right bore and as others have said doesn't want you to make any improvements to your health.

On a side note why would you compliment someone losing weight through Mounjaro? That's like complimenting someone who had liposuction on their weightloss? Achieved through intervention as opposed to hard work.

Whilst doing this, she encourages me to finish everything on my plate and order more food. I am a bit overweight, too, and I was actually more overweight than she was. I suggested perhaps I should get it and she was like, no, you don't need to lose weight.You look great order something else... encouraging me to order more food.

She's being a complete bitch for this. If you like her enough, tell her to fucking stop. Else distance yourself. She sounds like you're now her 'fat friend.' You don't have to play along with that.

This. 100%.

Could you address this with her? She might need - even welcome - a wake-up call on how annoying and obsessive she's being. That's what I'd want a friend to do if I was acting like this.
I guess your only other options are to tolerate or grey-rock, neither of which sound like much fun or conducive to positive friendship for you.