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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Selfish friend expects me to pay high price when on low income

311 replies

Delly9 · 10/09/2025 18:56

My friend is quite selfish. She always expects to go to expensive restaurants when we meet up. She has a 38k a year job and 12k rental property income - she told me this. Her parents also paid a large chunk of the 4 bed house she lives alone and she told me this. She does not have a mortgage.

I am only on 27k. Why does she thinks it’s acceptable to expect me to pay £30 for a meal at a restaurant. The one time she had this ‘voucher’ and I still had to pay £25 for the meal.

This time round she found this ‘Table’ scheme where you pay £8 fee to get 50% off the meals. Well it’s not 50% if you have had to pay a fee. I looked at the menu and it says there is a 12.5% service charge on the menu. It’s doesn’t say it can be removed. She said it’s too late to cancel. I am seething. I feel like just getting a bowl of soup as that will end up being a reasonable price. Most meals are £30 at this place.

I am really annoyed with her. She always says she has no money but goes to a concert or gig every month and stays in a hotel which all of this costs hundreds of pounds and she goes abroad a few times a year. She isn’t poor as she can afford this and these expensive meals. I think she forgets what she tells me.

I am not jealous but she has lots of disposable income but expects me to fork out when I am not on the same income and I have to pay bills and mortgage.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 13/09/2025 12:33

I feel somewhat sorry for the friend. She realised that medium priced restaurants were too expensive for OP and tried to rectify that by using the early bird app thing, but now that’s too early/the tips are too high. I suspect the friend doesn’t want to go for the obvious option of Wetherspoons where OP can choose and pay for meals more in her price range as she doesn’t enjoy the food there.

JustineRobots · 13/09/2025 12:58

Me too. It reminds me of a friend I had (emphasis on “had”) who would always find a way to complain something was too expensive, wasn’t worth the money, there must be a better deal out there…

She wanted us to go on holiday, but stressed limited budget. I said we could either go outside or peak time or choose more modest / less central accommodation. She pouted and said everywhere would be dead and boring if we booked off peak, and that there would be nothing to do further out. I found a ridiculously cheap last minute deal - her first question was “Is it all inclusive?”.

She asked for my advice on buying a flat once. The area she liked was out of her budget, so I asked if she’d prefer to compromise on area or condition, size etc.. You can probably guess the answer.

CheeseWisely · 13/09/2025 13:27

Gwenhwyfar · 13/09/2025 12:01

"I hate jo idea how much my friends earn"

Surely you have an idea based on what their job is. If they're a call centre worker they probably earn less than a doctor.
If they're public sector workers it's public information (although for the exact amount you might need to know how many years they've done).

Well the ones that work in finance probably earn more than the ones in hospitality, but I’ve no idea how much. It’s none of my business. Nor would they know how much I earn. Even if I did know their salary I wouldn’t know how much their mortgage or rent is, what they put into their pension or investments, do they financially support family members, how much they save or spend on fripperies…

Grimandbearit · 13/09/2025 16:39

To be honest, you haven’t had a positive thing to say about her so I would just ghost her and see if she gets the message.

chaosmaker · 13/09/2025 21:24

@Delly9 just free yourself. Doesn't seem like she is bothered given the fact you said she lost all the other friends she had but hasn't changed.

JustineRobots · 14/09/2025 01:19

If they're public sector workers it's public information

Yeah, but you’d have to be a bit deranged to look it up.

Shoxfordian · 14/09/2025 05:16

It doesn't seem as though you like her so stop meeting up or do something different, ask her to meet for a drink not dinner.

TalkToTheHand123 · 14/09/2025 09:56

Tell her you'll be sitting outside waiting with a cup of change and a carboad noticeboard.

TwistedWonder · 14/09/2025 11:18

JustineRobots · 14/09/2025 01:19

If they're public sector workers it's public information

Yeah, but you’d have to be a bit deranged to look it up.

Agee. I can’t imagine in what world I’d feel the need to google my friends salaries online. Who does that?

Delly9 · 14/09/2025 11:20

chaosmaker · 13/09/2025 21:24

@Delly9 just free yourself. Doesn't seem like she is bothered given the fact you said she lost all the other friends she had but hasn't changed.

My partner said yesterday he doesn’t know why I bother with her as she winds me up.

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 14/09/2025 18:40

TwistedWonder · 14/09/2025 11:18

Agee. I can’t imagine in what world I’d feel the need to google my friends salaries online. Who does that?

Edited

I don't either, but I have an idea what the ranger are for e.g. nurses, teachers, waiters, admin staff, IT people, doctors, etc.

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