Am very conflicted about this. On one hand, I do understand what you are saying particularly with regards to establishing the relationship first as it can make navigating sex easier. However, sex is also a good way to filter people out - many show their true colours, their likes and dislikes pretty much as soon as their clothes come off.
Oral sex is pretty basic and a huge part of foreplay. Admittedly, it doesn't do it for some, and for others, it's not their thing in terms of giving and/or receiving. In my experience, men who tend shy away from oral sex on a woman do so because they do not enjoy it, and can often be squeamish about women's bodies, scents, bodily function, and intimacy in general. Most pertinently, oral sex (on a woman) is something that isn't going to happen going forward. Yet, often, these men always expect copious amounts of fellatio on them. For me, I would far know what a man is like in bed early on, more so in terms of his interest in my sexual pleasure. Some men simply don't care about women's pleasure. Again, a lack of interest or perfunctory oral for a number of minutes is indicative of this.
Sex is a pretty basic form of communication and expressing desire for someone. It's a connecting and bonding experience. If two people can't communicate about their needs and desire, then they probably shouldn't sexually intimate in the first place.
OP, you have nothing to feel or be humiliated about it. This man is the one who has humiliated himself, not only in his selfishness, but his lack of understanding anything about women, be it their bodies and sexuality. Hoe also tried (and succeeded) in making you feel bad at your failure to achieve an orgasm when that is totally on him. Telling you that other women haven't had an issue is designed to make you feel bad and a failure, whereas it is the opposite. You know this, am sure. Getting to know a new person sexually is tricky and takes time, not to mention a willingness to learn about someone else's body - everyone is different. He's shown zero interest in you, your body, your sexual desires. He's shown you who he is. It's up to you to take heed of this.