Photo posted of children without my consent

[OneCalmReader]

Hi,
I recently posted about my Narcissistic MIL. She had got angry about me not posting a photograph of her hijacking my two DDs first look at my wedding. She ruined part of my day by sabotaging a first look between my DDs and she can’t seem to understand why I am upset about it and she decided to call me horrible names and say things to belittle me.
Well, yesterday she changed her profile photo on Facebook to the photo I never wanted to post. It wasn’t supposed to happen and she had access to it from a private album of our wedding photos. Where do I stand with this? I have reported it to Facebook for violating my privacy as I haven’t given her consent to post an image of myself and my children, but I haven’t heard anything back yet. I’m just not sure how to take further action.

You’re aware that to some people, money is not the most important factor, right?

Yes, but most of us work for financial gain and nothing else otherwise why work at all!

I could be a wedding content creator. Piece of cake.

I thought “content creators” were women who sold saucy pics on Only Fans?

Editing hours of footage into spiffy short videos is a lot of work.

I’m not sure if I agree with OP or not, but she has a dilemma that’s not beyond the pale. It’s actually quite appropriate for this site, and pps, by ganging up, are pretending she’s totally unhinged. She might be a bit right, she might be wrong, she might be OTT and need to shake it off, but it’s not irrational that she’s upset and annoyed by MIL.

The herd behavior in the comments is fascinating. Based on how a post is phrased, commenters just pick a thing and pile on and normalize their extreme reactions. It’s like watching the social fabric come undone. When there are enough people behaving like this, the bullying sounds normal. It’s not. It’s more unhinged than OPs tiff with her MIL and by a lot.

They used to be writers and photographers before the internet turned anyone with a phone into a professional.

What do you mean?

I went to a wedding with one of these … it was a nightmare. Everything was a “photo opportunity” nothing was candid, all staged.
”stand here” “move there” “do that” etc etc .. honestly, took the fun away.
Looked great on Insta, but really took away from the fun of the day

DS and DIL had an incredibly expensive wedding woth several photographers/videographers,planners, etc. Think the cost of a small house, but...
Their whole wedding was a gift.
They didn't already have DC (you have at least three).
They owned their own home.
Had no debt apart from a small mortgate (half the rental rate of their property).
DS has never called DIL a slut.
I find it incredible that anyone beyond a naive teen would spend such stupid money on a wedding in your situation, let alone hundreds (even thousands) specifically for social media content, then come on here obsessed about MIL putting up a photo when you clearly intended to do the same.
Unless you're hugely wealthy, surely the money would have been far better spent on the DC's future, rather than vain pursuits no one gives a shit about.
Out of interest, how old are you?

Maybe the content creator is a photographer (very common) and the OP would rather have professional looking images she can choose than her MIL shitty phone images were she doesn'tget to pick? It's her wedding, her in the pictures so she gets to choose how she wants to be portrayed. I would have had a word with MIL before inviting her and given her a "no photography" warning.

That would be a photographer, not a "content creator."

Facebook won't do anything and the only thing you can do here is to somehow make sure she never has access to any photos you wouldn't want online. If sharing photos is a family tradition and you can't avoid it, make it in a form of a slideshow, so that taking a picture away from it and uploading it online would be harder for her to do. You can use an automatic slideshow maker to do that, but chances are she might post the whole video instead 🤷‍♀️
If you absolutely have to share something, do it while keeping in mind it might end up on her page, or stop sharing at all.

I don't know the quality of images of said content creator but most folk in this business are pretty good at images, lighting, editing etc...I'm assuming the OP likes his style of imaging hence the reason she picked him/her for this important event. In any case it's her event, her in the photos and she's entitled to pick how she wants to be portrayed and by whom in this ocasion. I would have an issue if this no images rule applied to the wedding (unless she's a big celebrity which she may or may not).

What does your husband think of this?

read your comment to my whole family - we are lol’s… we think you should win the internet today!

This sounds really horrid on many counts and no, there should not be pics of your children on a unsecured FB page. Check out what the NSPCC has to say on this topic. You might share that with Mil.

But I am alarmed at the overuse of narcissistic as a catch-all term for someone one finds difficult/has fallen out with/is overbearing. True narcissists wreck people's lives and do untold damage to those involved with them. Many years ago, I was a support worker for uni students. My jaw dropped in a psychology lecture about narcissistic personality disorder as I realised this was exactly my own MIL of then 30 years' standing. From what we hear here, this woman does at least hold some of her family in high regard (ie the kids). A narcissist only has her own interests at heart. Maybe try refraining this as a power struggle or personality clash and work out what to do going forward.

I back MIL - what a tremendous fuss over absolutely nothing. No one cares about a FB profile photos.

I think your making a mountain out of a molehill. Once you upload photos onto the internet anyone can use them on Facebook. Facebook won't do anything. I suppose you've added her to this photo album which allowed her to use the photos. Maybe she just thought her grandchildren looked lovely and wanted to share it with people. It's not really fair saying she can't use these images because she is in them.

Queen Kong vs. Bridezilla.

Precious princess… good luck with adversity’s in the rest of your life and be thankful of the life you have

Precious princess… good luck with adversity’s in the rest of your life and be thankful of the life you have

Precious princess… good luck with adversity’s in the rest of your life and be thankful of the life you have

I agree.
Hilarious!!!!!

Precious princess… good luck with adversity’s in the rest of your life and be thankful of the life you have.