New boyfriend wants sex all the time

[agencies]

I’ve been dating my new boyfriend for about 3 months now and he always wants sex. We live 15 minutes apart and see each other most days. On the days we don’t see each other, he talks about it and asks for naughty photos. On weekends, we often end up having sex several times a day (8 times on Saturday). It’s hard to just relax and watch TV without him wanting to jump on me. He seems to want it all the time. He says it’s because he fancies me so much and gets really excited.

I used to think I had a high sex drive until I met him. I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong btw. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if I’m the problem because I don’t want it as much as he does. I understand that new relationships are exciting, which explains his frequent desire. However, I’m worried because I don’t share the same feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy our sex life, but I would be content with once or twice a day instead of multiple times daily.

Is it concerning that my desire for sex isn't as strong as his?

Obviously it's not OK if you're not into but surely constant sex with a new bf/gf is not unusual?
When I first met my now husband we were at it all the time.

Sex addict !

You've got a very high sex drive and that’s absolutely ok but don't you think you need to work on your self esteem if you judge your desirability by whether a man wants to stick his cock in you multiple times a day? Being desired is so much more than non stop shagging.

8 times in a day though? I don’t see how any woman can actually get off that frequently if there’s anything more to it than what is essentially using your partner as a masturbatory tool.

*edit this was supposed to be in response to LittleRedGoat, I hate mumsnet mobile!!

Im in the first flush like you - 4 months in. I was always a 2-3 times a week gal, or so I thought. I can't keep my hands off him - nor him me. Whenever we see each other it is on like 4-5 times in the day. BUT (and this is important I think) we both want it and are both initiating it. We go out of course, but we both can't wait to get back. We watch movies, eat etc, but we are both pretty up for it most of the time. It may dwindle of course but it is equal. You guys aren't. Is he making you feel guilty because you arent? My ex husband was constantly at me, and I felt like I was in a carry on movie, constantly doing the dodge and weave - it was exhausting and icky. You might be mismatched or he might settle down - but if it were me if I felt remotely pressured I would end it, because he doesn't care if you are into it or not. My bloke would not do that. I was ill recently (but still very much up for it) but he didn't initiate at all because of that. Which spoke volumes to me.

So does all this sex just about pleasuring him, ie him wanting to stick his cock somewhere in you so he can come, or is it about him wanting to pleasure you how you want to be pleasured at that moment? If it’s penetrative sex 8x in one day, aren’t you really sore?

There is NOTHING wrong with you, except that you clearly cannot communicate your boundaries to him. If you don’t want sex 8x in a day, then don’t. Tell him you’re bloody sore. Get him to do something else (give you a massage maybe? Without a happy end for once).

Do you want it all the time? You need to lay down boundaries and work out exactly what happens if you say no

or if you don’t want to bother let him go

It doesn’t seem to me like he values you as a person or sees you as anything other than his personal unpaid sex worker. There’s nothing more off putting to me. It’s normal to enjoy lots of sex early in a relationship but there’s more to it than that and it it was me I’d feel used. You’re obviously feeling off about it as well. Dump him.

No wonder he is divorced

If you both want it ten times a day, then not an issue, but you don’t seem matched and longer term this will become an issue, if you don’t agree a happy medium so to speak. 8 times though wow 😳

How does he react if you say no?

Please do not send this sex obsessed individual photos of yourself! And to be honest he does sound a bit ‘needy’ judging by the number of times he wants sex. Can you really cope with his behaviour?

He doesn't want to spend quality time with you.

He's not dating you for your company. He's dating you for sex.

He is fine when hes out because hes doing things he's interested in and wants. He doesn't want to do 'the boring day to day' stuff with you.

Thats not the foundation of a long term relationship.

People keep saying they are mismatched as though one person wants it once a week and the other five times a week. This guy wants sex eight times a day - that isn't good for women and it's not good for a relationship, either. There's no time to do anything else and she's going to be sore as hell.

He's porn-addled, Viagra-overdosing and incapable of seeing the OP as a person in her own right, rather than simply someone to have sex with.

I can just imagine if you had a baby with him, he'd be demanding sex constantly whilst you're pregnant and immediately after giving birth. He sounds like an utter sex pest. ICK.

If you say no, what is he like? Does he treat you with respect or act like a child who has had their xbox privileges removed?

Nothing worse than trying to chill and watch tv and the man can't keep his hands to himself. I'd be at the point of not being able to even hug him for fear he'd take it as a green light for a shag.

Boak chuck him back @agencies

How does having a high sex drive mean you're immature? Also, you're jumping to massive conclusions about the reasons for his divorce.

So many posters here are just straight up repressed.

It sounds tiresome, painful and imbalanced. You don't sound compatible but above all there is NOTHING wrong with you.

I used to go out with a guy that I did find myself avoiding any affection with at all because he always saw it as a precursor to sex. It was exhausting. He wasn't interested in having a conversation about it and eventually I just went off him completely. It wasn't really a relationship and unfortunately the OP's situation doesn't sound much like a relationship either.

Dear god my poor DH is lucky if he gets it 8 times a year never mind on a Saturday!!
He needs a hobby that doesn’t involve his willy!!

I'll say it: did you come all 8 times? If not, how many? On days when you're doing it more than twice, how many of those times do you come? If the answer is 'less than half' I wouldn't be entertaining this.

You said you find the sex satisfying? I mean if it’s good sex from your side and you don’t mind getting nothing done when at home fair enough wait out the honeymoon phase see if it calms down. But I doubt this sex is actually satisfying for you? I definitely could cope with 8 sessions of satisfying sex in one day. Mediocre sex yes fine but 8 orgasms would be unmanageable which leads me to thinking this is a porn asked man not fully meeting your needs and a woman too polite to say she wants equality in orgasms?

Think I’d love that for a bit then it would get too much….maybe it’ll calm down?