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Original poster

New boyfriend wants sex all the time

264 replies

agencies · 11/08/2025 16:17

I’ve been dating my new boyfriend for about 3 months now and he always wants sex. We live 15 minutes apart and see each other most days. On the days we don’t see each other, he talks about it and asks for naughty photos. On weekends, we often end up having sex several times a day (8 times on Saturday). It’s hard to just relax and watch TV without him wanting to jump on me. He seems to want it all the time. He says it’s because he fancies me so much and gets really excited.

I used to think I had a high sex drive until I met him. I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong btw. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if I’m the problem because I don’t want it as much as he does. I understand that new relationships are exciting, which explains his frequent desire. However, I’m worried because I don’t share the same feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy our sex life, but I would be content with once or twice a day instead of multiple times daily.

Is it concerning that my desire for sex isn't as strong as his?

OP posts:
Festivespirit85 · 13/08/2025 00:48

I would feel so overwhelmed with that. Not just the 8 times a day but the pestering for nudes etc when he's not with you. Sounds like one of these that thinks a relationship equals sex on tap. Was he like that with his Ex do you know? If he was, he's got a problem! I bet his Ex is relieved to be rid of him.

catchyoubysurprise · 13/08/2025 01:35

@PigletSanders- for the second time, I’m 30. Yes, I did indeed start that thread - turns out it was an ingrown hair. I met my husband last June, we got married in January. Should anyone wish to verify this, please do DM me and I’ll send over a copy of our marriage certificate (and indeed, the very first text he sent me last June). Happy to clear any troll-esque behaviour up.

MKDex · 13/08/2025 06:14

PigletSanders · 12/08/2025 21:53

On this poster, 18 months ago they started a thread after they had ‘angry spots erupting all over their fanny’ and apparently hadn’t ‘DTD for well over a year’, so yeah, full of shit I reckon. 😆

Show quote history

😂

BauhausOfEliott · 13/08/2025 10:25

UnlimitedBacon · 11/08/2025 16:22

He’s porn addled.

Genuine porn addiction tends to have the opposite effect.

dh280125 · 13/08/2025 11:19

It's fine to do it several times a day if you both want to. If you don't, just say no. That's a great test for a relationship's foundations. He sounds like a teenage boy who can't believe his luck. Needs a hobby...

MixedBananas · 13/08/2025 11:48

Sounds like a Sex Addict I would have a chat to him about it. What happens with people like that when it slows down at home he will be going out looking and paying for it.
No that is not normal whats so ever to have that high of a sex drive it is very abnormal and not within the bounds of healthy.

ohime · 13/08/2025 12:19

TheWalkingEyebag · 11/08/2025 17:19

One of my first boyfriends was a bit like this. We couldn’t just watch a film or have a drink at home without him trying it on. It was constant and gave me the ick. It got to the point where I’d always make plans outside of the house so we could actually talk. I ended it because, despite him being lovely in so many other ways, we were sexually mismatched. It sounds like you are in a similar position. If you really like him other than the constant sex, talk to him about it. Be honest. If nothing changes, he’s not the one for you.

Same with one of my first. I started to dread films because I never got to watch more than five minutes of them, either at home or at the cinema; car journeys weren't safe either - basically anywhere where we were alone or in darkness. In the end I constantly felt defensive, tensing up in anticipation of being pestered, and I developed a kind of 'just get it over with so we can talk' mentality as I really did like him a lot and wanted to talk to him.

Once a man told me that getting old had been a blessing as he was 'no longer led around by' his sex drive and could finally focus on other things...

Beachtastic · 13/08/2025 13:22

Once a man told me that getting old had been a blessing as he was 'no longer led around by' his sex drive and could finally focus on other things...

In Plato's Republic, the elderly Sophocles, when asked whether he could still enjoy desire, is reported to have said: "I am only too glad to be free of all that; it is like escaping from bondage to a raging madman.”

I'm sure OP can relate!

CathyFitzs · 13/08/2025 13:24

I hope you haven’t sent him photos but if you have please stop now. He has a sex addition and you two are mismatched. I’m sure he will be using your photos for extra sexual pleasure and this may well include sharing them on sex sites.

MrsPxxx · 13/08/2025 14:38

agencies · 11/08/2025 16:17

I’ve been dating my new boyfriend for about 3 months now and he always wants sex. We live 15 minutes apart and see each other most days. On the days we don’t see each other, he talks about it and asks for naughty photos. On weekends, we often end up having sex several times a day (8 times on Saturday). It’s hard to just relax and watch TV without him wanting to jump on me. He seems to want it all the time. He says it’s because he fancies me so much and gets really excited.

I used to think I had a high sex drive until I met him. I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong btw. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if I’m the problem because I don’t want it as much as he does. I understand that new relationships are exciting, which explains his frequent desire. However, I’m worried because I don’t share the same feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy our sex life, but I would be content with once or twice a day instead of multiple times daily.

Is it concerning that my desire for sex isn't as strong as his?

Whatever happened to going out and enjoying each other's company and experiencing all the amazing entertaining events that are out of home and are available! There's always time for enjoying just each other and that doesn't need to get 24/7 in the bedroom or wherever! Unless he's broke and can only offer you that! 😂

FeetLikeFlippers · 13/08/2025 16:39

Different levels of libido don’t have to be an issue if both parties are sensitive to the others’s feelings but this is clearly not the case here. It’s his attitude that’s the problem, not your differing sex drives. What happens if you tell him you’re not in the mood? Does he wheedle and whine until he gets his own way? If that’s the case then he clearly has no respect for you and I’d advise you to get out before he starts trying to control you in other ways.

Mischance · 13/08/2025 18:10

Genuine relationships are about more than sex. They are about enjoying each other's company, relaxing together, sharing activities and outings.

It depends what you are wanting - a fully rounded relationship or someone to have sex with. What he wants is very clear - but is it also what you want? It would seem not.

Sam9769 · 16/08/2025 18:15

Kiss him GOOD BYE!

Baloneyhahaboohoo · 16/08/2025 19:13

Hatty65 · 11/08/2025 16:19

Is he part rabbit? Or just a teenage boy?

I've never met a bloke who wanted sex 8 times a day, and coudn't think of anything worse to be honest. There's more to life than shagging.

Sex mad maniac take your pick if you don’t like the way acts walk away

Baloneyhahaboohoo · 16/08/2025 19:28

If you don’t like this - behaviour - but put up with it that’s your problem either continue with it or walk away

Baloneyhahaboohoo · 16/08/2025 19:43

If you don’t like his constant sexual behaviour 8 times in one day !!! wanting “naughty pics “ why are you still seeing him get a grip girl and walk away You can do so much better

Indiebee · 16/08/2025 20:20

Definitely on Viagra and no respect for you at all.

Mmhmmn · 16/08/2025 22:09

Not normal. He sounds addicted. You need to just say when you do not want sex. Don't have sex you don't want - as pp have said, you're not a blow up doll.

shuggles · 16/08/2025 22:18

agencies · 11/08/2025 16:30

We’re both 30. At first, I thought it was because he hadn’t had sex in a year (he recently got divorced) and was just enjoying sex again. I thought he would have settled down by now, but it seems to be getting worse and he just wants more and more!

Show quote history

It is extremely unusual for a man in his 30s to have such a high sex drive. When I read your original post, I thought you were describing a boy who is 16 or 17 years old.

I'm in my 30s and I would say that 8 times a year is too much, let alone a day.

shuggles · 16/08/2025 22:19

UnlimitedBacon · 11/08/2025 16:22

He’s porn addled.

Porn use causes a decrease in sex drive.

CommonAsMucklowe · 16/08/2025 23:22

And when's he's home alone he's probably bashing the bishop. Get rid now!!

Nellie1919 · 17/08/2025 01:12

I'm 70 years old but still remember that couples do have a lot of "sex" early doors, but this is too excessive. Does he actually make love to you? I'd worry about infidelity further down the line as he sounds like a sex addict. At his age he should be showing much more self control by now. It's very important to be able to spend quality time together, just cuddling up is just as important. Sit him down and tell him how you feel, if he carries it on, I'm afraid you're better off dumping him. Good luck 🙂

Fygrfghjughj · 17/08/2025 07:51

Horsie · 11/08/2025 20:02

I read your sentence as "We've settled in to a more normal mount." 🤣

EIGHT times a day at 42? You sure that's not a memory burnished by your pleasurable recalling of that time? I find it hard to believe!

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This is fairly doable for middle aged men in my experience. They seem to get a second wind in their 40s and become right old pervs. Mine is 48 and I reckon he'd be capable of this without any help.

Horsie · 17/08/2025 07:56

Fygrfghjughj · 17/08/2025 07:51

This is fairly doable for middle aged men in my experience. They seem to get a second wind in their 40s and become right old pervs. Mine is 48 and I reckon he'd be capable of this without any help.

Show quote history

"They seem to get a second wind in their 40s and become right old pervs." 🤣🤣🤣

Yeah, my FWB is older (as am I) and he's insanely pervy. Makes for great occasional sex, but I'm not sure I would want to take him on full-time! 👀

Troodledoodle · 17/08/2025 08:51

This isn’t normal. You are mismatched. Your desire levels seem fine but his? Is he a sex addict? Best sort this out very soon or you’re going to end up feeling like a blow up doll 😏