Need a hand hold;My DH has come out as bisexual.

[Uberella]

As the title says;my husband told within the last days that he’s bisexual and I’m absolutely broken.

He says he loves me and still wants me but he’s attracted to men too.He said he wasn’t planning on leaving me or cheating with a man.

Without telling me first he’s told our DD’s who are 18 & 20 and now he wants to tell his friends.

I feel blindsided by this;I’m still trying to process what he’s told me and now he’s telling people before I’ve even had a chance to wrap my head around it.

I’m currently an absolute mess;it’s 1.30am,I can’t stop crying and I’ve got to be in work at 8am and I don’t actually know how I’m going to function in the morning.

I don’t know what my is going to look like and I’m just spiralling.

Do you know if the fulfilment is for ‘either’ or for ‘both’ though? Can you know that as the non-bisexual partner?

I don’t understand.

Why are you ‘doubling the risk’? If there are 4 billion women on the planet and 8 billion men and women, are you saying 4 billion is an acceptable risk but 8 billion isn’t?

Are you saying a bisexual person is more likely to cheat based on numbers of potential partners being available? Is that the reason anyone cheats or just bisexual people?

There seems to be the thought here that a bisexual person needs sex/relations with BOTH sexes in order to be fulfilled. Not that they are fulfilled with sex/relations with either sex. The distinction matters.

No, I'm saying what I said before - that men are more likely to cheat and more likely to pass on STDs. These are statistical facts.

Can you explain why it’s ‘common sense’ though? By common sense do you mean a belief in feeling/desire applied to all bisexual people?

So how is that a reason not to be with any man at all, regardless of sexual orientation? If you’re using is against bisexual men, why not against heterosexual men?

I’m not saying they do. I said ‘It creates an imbalance because the woman will be expected to be fulfilled in her marriage but the she may not feel she can expect the same from her DH’ if he desires men.

Because presumably the OP’s husband has told OP he is bisexual because he has found that he is attracted to men?

I’d throw up in my mouth if my dad told me he was bisexual. You don’t need to be told of your parents sexual preferences.

Because men having sex with men statistically increases the risk of STDs for OP, if he cheats on her (and men are more likely to cheat than women).

70% of people being diagnosed for HIV are men.

But that’s her belief – not the truth. The truth can only come from the bisexual partner. Obviously how the non-bisexual partner feels matters in a relationship, but when feelings are based on untruths, then that’s an issue.

But he’s not cheating with men? If he’s not cheating, then what’s the issue?

Are you saying that bisexual men are more likely to cheat than heterosexual men?

She also said she finds the idea of "sexualising" that area as "unhygienic" and "dangerous", so no I don't think the addition of "my life" suggests she was being purely descriptive.

Do you also "throw up in your mouth" at the idea that your dad is attracted to women?

And you're obsessing over a complete stranger's feelings about anal sex because...?

OK I need to get to work now but I don't understand how else he would have realised he is bisexual unless he has realised he has sexual attraction to men.

Well yeah. I don’t need to know anything about my dad’s sexual preferences. Definitely not homophobia as I assume that’s what you’re getting at?

Again, I said IF he cheated. You really don't know that he will not cheat.

I'm not saying bi-sexual men are more likely to cheat, but that men are more likely to cheat, and IF he did cheat, OP now has the added worry that he may cheat with a man and increase her risk of getting an STD.

In your fairy tale world men never cheat but many women deal in the real world.

How am I obsessing about it. It was information provided entirely spontaneously and without prompting😂, all I did was (entirely reactively) express amused shock at the veracity of her disgust towards her graphic, unfiltered imaginings about the sexual practices of bisexual men.

Why?

I know I'm not getting my needs met but my partner has a great time getting his,still waiting on his explanation though I just get excuses

No it isn't.

I thought you'd be here at some point.

But you’d have to worry that your male partner was going to cheat for this to be an issue. If you’re worried about them cheating, are you saying that’s inherent to bisexuality?

Are you saying the risk of cheating is down to someone’s sexuality rather than their individual integrity?

I mean anyone is welcome to end their relationship or marriage based on imagined scenarios, I guess. That doesn’t mean they are likely to happen.

It’s an interesting idea though. It does appear, on the face of it at least, that their is more distastefulness towards bisexual men than bisexual women. It’s interesting to think of why that may be.