Need a hand hold;My DH has come out as bisexual.

[Uberella]

As the title says;my husband told within the last days that he’s bisexual and I’m absolutely broken.

He says he loves me and still wants me but he’s attracted to men too.He said he wasn’t planning on leaving me or cheating with a man.

Without telling me first he’s told our DD’s who are 18 & 20 and now he wants to tell his friends.

I feel blindsided by this;I’m still trying to process what he’s told me and now he’s telling people before I’ve even had a chance to wrap my head around it.

I’m currently an absolute mess;it’s 1.30am,I can’t stop crying and I’ve got to be in work at 8am and I don’t actually know how I’m going to function in the morning.

I don’t know what my is going to look like and I’m just spiralling.

Exactly. What if a woman in this situation decided to "come out" as someone who's only attracted to straight men? That would be her sexuality and "identity" and "true self", right? Why shouldn't that be just as important as his?

Give over. Nobody has to celebrate their husband coming out as gay.

It literally is the definition of bi-phobia

Oh I agree

but…. “Spiralling” ? An “an absolute mess”

and what about the 16 year old youngest… must be wondering what the hell is going on poor thing

He's not gay...

I haven't seen anyone say that she should, but there are many posters who have said that this information is irrelevant and he shouldn't have said anything at all.

Being upfront with someone from the start and suddenly announcing it after years of being in a committed relationship are completely different and you know it.

What purpose does it serve i wonder? (Thats a rhetorical question)

He's not come out as gay. I also didn't say she had to celebrate. I can appreciate its difficult for OP.

But for the LGBTQIA+ community in general, it's celebrating the fact that they're allowed to exist as they are, and don't have to hide or pretend.

Oh ffs. If he’s bi then he’s gay and straight. Bi just covers both elements.

He may not have realised from the start. As others have said, maybe he saw his lesbian daughters living their lives as themselves and felt empowered to do so (hence telling them first).

It's very pessimistic to assume he's told his wife because he wants to cheat on her and have sex with men.

No, it isn't. Bi-phobia is hatred and prejudice specifically against those identified or perceived as being bi-sexual.

You don't have to prove you're not bi-phobic by having sex with bi-sexuals or marrying them.

I think my quoting may have got misaligned? Not sure, quite sleep deprived today! Apologies if our wires were crossed.

Except it isn’t though, is it?

HOUSE!!!!!

Hope you have all enjoyed bi-phobia bingo 👏👏👏

It IS prejudice if you refuse a relationship with a man who is exactly as he appears but he's just bi and that's the only reason you don't want to be with him.

If the only reason not to be with him is his sexuality, then it's the definition of bi-phobia.

Because being straight is the assumed norm and doesn’t come with years of worldwide oppression..!?

Do you throw around words every day that you don’t understand? Or are you just a professional at pretending to find offence?
I’d like you to explain, in detail, what part of that is bi-phobic…

It's not the same thing at all, gay would mean he's not attracted to women, he is and he's bi.

Another example of bi-phobia to be dismissing him and calling him gay, he's not gay.

No, that's not prejudice. The Human Rights Act specifically recognises sexuality as a human right which gives us the right to freedom of expression on who we want to be with.

This means that heterosexual people are perfectly in their rights not to want to be in a relationship with bi-sexual people or anyone else. And vice versa.

“I’m going to come out as straight”

Okay, enjoy your white pride parade too babes xo

He's told OP he's same-sex attracted. He has homosexual feelings and thoughts and he wants everyone to know that. So yes, he's gay as well as straight and we cover that with term bi-sexual. When he's enjoying a quick hook-up on Grindr on the way home from work he's not being bi-sexual, he's having gay sex.

But how is that relevant in his day to day life?

If he was dating and had just got a new partner that was the opposite sex to the previous one then he might correct someone who didn't know about the new partner but knew the previous one that said 'what did you and your boyfriend get up to at the weekend?'

But at the moment and for the previous 20 years he has been living a heterosexual life, if people at work ask about what he did over the weekend should he say 'My wife and I went out with some friends on Saturday night then had a look round the garden centre on Sunday, but I'm actually bisexual now' ?

It is not biphobic to not want a relationship with a man who is attracted to men.

Im bi. I wouldn't have wanted a relationship with a man who likes men. And because im not a self absorbed prat id have fully respected it if my partner didnt want to have entered into a relationship with me.

Sexuality does not include hetero for hetero, that's not a sexuality and again, that's prejudice against bi people. There is no difference to a person.

It's wild how much prejudice is in this thread, no wonder your husbands don't want to tell you they're bi.

Of course heterosexuality is a sexuality. The clue is in the word. Why do you think heterosexuals should be excluded from fundamental human rights?

Do you also think lesbians who refuse to date transwomen are transphobic?